Going to visit a new mom soon?

Put down that gift bag filled with onesies and receiving blankets. For real. The new mom you’re visiting already has 50 of each. She’s probably already had at least one baby shower to get her ready for the tiny new person who’s moved in and kept her up all night.

It’s time to treat that poor shell-shocked new mom. She had no idea just how little sleep she’d get, how much “ew” she’d witness, and just how leaky EVERYTHING is after you expel a person. We need to pamper her in rainbows and puppy kisses (just don’t actually bring a puppy, that thing will make a mess).

Even though my youngest is now 16 months old (Yes, I just had to stop and count to remember), I still vividly remember those first few days home from the hospital. You’re in a haze. You’re exhausted. And you’re terrified when your husband leaves you alone with the baby for the first time. So I decided to come up with a list of gifts the first time mom REALLY wants when she brings home that sweet new baby. You’re welcome, new moms.

1. Food.
In all forms. Bring the family dinner, lunch, snacks, dessert, whatever. Mom (and Dad!) are so focused on keeping a tiny human alive that they often don’t remember to cook or even grocery shop. Keep them from starving. And bring it in disposable containers. They don’t have time to mess with dishes.

2. Arms. Yours specifically. To hold her baby.
There still are days when I can’t find the time to shower. When I was a brand new mom, I don’t even want to admit the amount of time that passed between bathing. I was terrified to leave my baby unattended. So here’s what you do: Call up the new mom and ask her what day and time she’d like to bathe. Then, come over and hold her baby while she does it. Let her take as long as she needs to feel like a real person again. She’ll love you forever.

3. Gift cards.
Once my husband went back to work, I felt like I was left in the trenches. The idea of leaving the house with the new baby was utterly terrifying. Therefore, I shopped online. I called for delivery. I also had friends bring over stuff. Of course, I got over this, but in the first few days/weeks, I felt very uneasy in my new role. I was afraid of leaving something behind, having germy strangers touch my baby, or God forbid, my baby crying in public (Remember when that was a fear?! Ha ha!) Help the newbie out with some gift cards she can use online to get what they need.

4. Wine with breast milk testing strips.
She just survived the most uncomfortable 9-ish months of her life without booze. Help a sister out. If she’s nursing, bring those handy testing strips so she has some peace of mind before she feeds her baby. One of my girlfriends brought me a basket full of Boulevard beer when I had HJ. To this day, she’s still one of my favorite people in the world.

5. Time alone.
Nothing makes people flock like a new baby. Everyone is so excited that they forget common courtesy sometimes and just show up unannounced at the new parents’ home. Don’t be that guy. If the new mom is anything like me, she’s so tired of changing the puke/breastmilk stained shirt that she’s just walking around without one and the house is a total disaster. In fact, if she’s sleep deprived enough, she may cry to find unexpected visitors on her doorstep. So give her some space or better yet, text her before you drop by.

Moms and Dads, could you weigh in? What things did I miss?

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