Placenta-eating, breast milk-sharing parents are gross

I knew what I was getting into when we decided to have kids. I knew that babies spit up, drool, go through an enormous amount of putrid smelling diapers, and that they tend to be pretty messy in general. Those are the things in which I was prepared to handle.

What I wasn’t prepared for though was how much I’d let my own personal views on what’s disgusting evolve. I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep, the enormous amount of love I have for my kids, or if I left part of my brain back at the hospital when I gave birth, but now that I’m a mom, I can be pretty gross. I now don’t even flinch when it comes to bodily fluids and the like. It can take two to three spit-up episodes on my shirt before I’ll actually go and change. If we’re out in public and my kid has something hanging out of her nose, I’ll probably just pull it off with my bare hands and wipe it on my own pants. Those of you without kids are probably dry heaving right now. My apologies, but it gets worse. So much worse.

These acts of disgustingness are just the tip of the iceberg. With baby number two, I moved on to a whole new level of ew. I think it just proves that parents will put aside ANY of their own discomfort for the sake of their kids’ well being. At least, that’s what I’m going with.

Seriously though, this is what I mean:

– The NoseFrida: Both of my girls hated the blue bulb snot sucker that they sent us home with from the hospital. In fact, we named it “The Blue Ball of Death” because they’d scream as if they were dying in excruciating pain every time we used it. So when my girlfriend showed me her NoseFrida, it was as if the heavens opened up. Sure, it’s kind of gross to suck snot out of your baby’s nose with your mouth, but look! She’s not screaming! Watch B and her NoseFrida here: http://youtu.be/u6kxl_71d0s

– Eating your placenta: OK, so I didn’t actually do this. I was afraid my husband would have me committed, but I find it so intriguing that if I had his blessing, I may have done it. Of course, I’d have gone the whole putting it into pill form route. Actually chew– ugh. I can’t even type that. Gross. BUT, some say ingesting your own placenta has many benefits such as lessening the chances of postpartum depression, increasing breast milk supply and is full of vitamins and nutrients. Dr. Google has tons of info. Just ask him.

– Sharing breast milk: Milksharing is becoming increasingly common between moms with low supply issues, adoptive parents, and for babies who are ill. From what I’ve heard, there’s some stipulations to follow, some paperwork, but the gist is that moms with an oversupply of breast milk give it to other parents to feed their babies. I was lucky and never had any major supply issues, but if I had, I’d totally have looked into this. Several people I’ve told about it look at me like I have two heads. To be honest, I think it’s funny that some people don’t think it’s gross to drink milk from an animal, but yet would scoff at the idea of drinking milk from another human. Think about it: We’ll drink milk from an animal that we’ve never even seen but think it’s gross to drink milk from a person whom we know and know that she’s hygienic and such. It’s not rational… to me, anyways. That being said, I still drink cow’s milk.

What kinds of gross things have you found yourself doing or changing your mind about after having kids?