I should’ve known something was up when people in line started crying.

This weekend, the husband and I headed up to Chicago to see one of our favorite music producers, Paul Van Dyk. And oh my goodness, Benny Benassi was playing with him. Joy!

Disclaimer! I listen to techno! And love it! Deal with it!

The husband and I have always enjoyed techno. But we’ve always missed out on the opportunity to go to an actual rave. We’re just too young to have ever had the chance to experience it. Thus, we put up with what I like to call “Electronic Music Recitals” in Kansas City. We’ve seen some great acts, including Digweed. So we can’t complain. At least we got to see these acts, despite being at big venues.

My little brother constantly makes fun of me for these types of shows. His reasoning? “It’s like a prerequisite to take extacy before they let you through the door.” His words, not mine.

The truth is, the husband and I are 100% completely sober when we go to these shows. In fact, we don’t even drink. Ever! It’s just not for us. We go to these shows because we genuinely and honestly love the music. The husband is a very good dancer. We go and we have fun. The most we’ve ever done (substance-wise) at a show is popped a red bull so we could keep dancing into the wee hours of the night.

So when we found out one of the world’s most famous electronic music acts was coming to Chicago, we high-tailed it on the megabus up to the show.

But oh the horrors that followed.

The show was at the Congress Theatre in Chicago. Beautiful venue, excellent sound, but that’s where it ends.

First of all, there had been some drama earlier in the week at the Congress. A last-minute cancellation of a big show, so I heard. So bad vibes were about.

Second, it’s no secret that security is WAY harsher to electronic music audiences. We’ve experienced that before in Kansas City (never in Lawrence, though). But what went down at the Congress was just ridiculous.

They banned glow sticks and cameras from the show. Digital cameras, all right, I get it, that sometimes happened. But glow sticks? This IS techno, after all. I guess they wanted to weed out the ravers (or as I like to call them, the REAL fans).

During the show, a man came up and stood next to us, his pants completely covered in glow sticks. Everyone high-fived him, guess security can’t take away your glow sticks when that’s what you’re WEARING to the show.

As I mentioned earlier, people standing in line were in tears. Security was rough. Very rough, they shook everyone down. They made everyone throw away their digital cameras (I had visited the web site earlier in the day and read the rules, so I left my cameras behind). People were just bawling. I stared at the buckets of digital cameras laying on the ground, while I waited to be searched.

And oh what a “thorough” search it was.

The woman searching me was crazy rude. Made me throw out my tylenol, and a prescription for a condition of mine (so now I have to call my doctor and embarrassingly ask for a refill). No pills allowed!

Then, she had me do what they did to all the women. Lift up our bras, and shake the goods out. I understand thorough searches are necessary at some shows, but this left me feeling a little violated. I didn’t see any of the men endure a search that thorough (the husband confirmed it).

But once I was inside, I was ready to have some fun.

I soon discovered the difference between “ravers” and “club kids.”

At shows like this in Kansas, the “ravers” and “club kids” all sort of just mesh together to form one group of electronic music lovers. Because I am a naive girl from Kansas, I had never been properly exposed to club kids.

They are just horrific.

Like I said earlier, the husband and I don’t drink. And if there’s ever a reason why, well….club kids are a good example.

The clothes are more skimpy than what I’m used to, although everyone has the right to dress how they want, so that’s not my complaint. My complaint is the behavior. Completely obnoxious, rude, self-indulging, and they carry around this feeling of self-entitlement that just makes me sick.

A few hours into the show, a man came up and just straight up started groping me. WOAH! I turned around and started yelling at him, shoved him a little. When the husband saw what happened, he gave the guy a shove (or two) in the proper direction. I was surprised by the groping (as is anyone who gets groped) mostly because in a sea of butt cheeks and cleavage, I was a very modestly dressed concert-goer. Sneakers, long jeans, and a dress on top.

The show was starting to turn sour for me.

Bennasi is really great at what he does, I appreciated his talent, but he played very little of his OWN stuff. Paul Van Dyk did the same, but was pretty crummy. The husband and I were severely disappointed. We traveled all this way to see PRODUCERS, not DJs throwing on White Stripes and Red Hot Chili Peppers remixes.

Remixes?? Seriously??!

I can’t believe we paid $40 for this.

It became very obvious that this was a show meant for club kids, and not real electronic music lovers. What an incredible let down.

Also, something happened at the end of the show. PVD’s set ended 20 minutes early, and it sounded awkward. I don’t know if this was a technical mistake, or if the Congress just wanted him out early.

We watched security literally pry cameras (with struggle) out of the hands of innocent party-goers and take off running with them. Anywhere else, that would be illegal.

Hey, I have a brilliant idea. Instead of chasing after fan kids and stealing their cameras, why doesn’t security go after the guys who are groping women in the crowd? Just a thought.

Also, at the beginning of the show, water was $3.00. Halfway through, that price spiked to $5.00.

Well, the husband and I learned our lesson. We’re done with these big shows.

A week earlier, we went to check out a DJ at the Replay. We danced all night, and skipped home with big smiles on our faces.

We have never left a local show unsatisfied. But this big fancy show in Chicago was an incredible disappointment.

I’m swearing off the big stuff, and just sticking to the local acts from now on.

Lawrence: 1
Chicago: 0

Note: This isn’t an entry meant to slam Chicago. I’ve been to some local shows there before that were just fantastic. So I’ll be sticking to the local shows there as well.