Reality rundown: Man, it feels good to be right

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Welcome to the “No Duh” version of the “Top Chef” and “Project Runway” blog rundown.

This week’s installment of our favorite reality shows have renewed my faith in the idea that even shows that have gone with the wrong winner (Leanne and Hosea) or finale contestants in the past (Lisa, Hosea, Kenley, Wendy Pepper, etc.) can actually get it right some of the time.

This week was one of those times. For as wonderful as the talent has been on “Top Chef” this season the four best chefs actually made the final four, no evil spoiler in the mix. And, for as craptastic as “Project Runway” has been this ENTIRE season, in the end, the season’s best designer won. Even if she did plagiarize copyrighted material twice (more on that later) and would have been eaten for lunch by tiny Christian Siriano, she was the right winner. And you know who I mean, Irina.

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And let’s start with the ice queen, shall we? She has shown the most talent, versatility, style and attitude of any competitor on this drab, thank-goodness-its-finally-over season of “Runway” and was hands down the show’s top talent. But she was also soulless, cold and one of the most hypocritical copycats ever. But you know, we all have flaws.

The final three of course, was right on the money: Irina, Althea and Carol Hannah. They were clearly the most talented designers of the season and all deserved to be in the finale.

Unfortunately, Carol Hannah’s stomach didn’t seem to want her to be at Bryant Park because it allowed some sort of awful flu virus into her tummy and was making her feel all-out horrible during the biggest week of her life. In this half of the finale, she was feeling better, but not before breaking down crying while sewing because she felt so bad. I felt awful for her for feeling awful, because that must have been heartbreaking, not to mention gut-wrenching (pun intended). At least she got a hug from cutie-pie Logan. Somewhat looking forward to an update on whatever happened with that budding romance.

Anyway, after seeing the runway collections, I really think that if Carol Hannah had been healthy, she could have taken home the prize. And even though I thought Irina would win, I was hopeful Carol Hannah could make a good run because A. She’s self-taught and B. She has a soul.

Her collection was beautiful and wearable and really impressive considering she had a her head in a toilet for the week beforehand.

Meanwhile, Althea turned in a collection full of sportswear that she said was meant to have a futuristic vibe. Gee, a future full of black headbands and glorified “Hammer” pants? No thanks.

Irina’s collection wasn’t exactly wearable to most women out there, though it was beautiful, cohesive and dark. It was an ode to New York, which was smart to do when you’re showing in New York to a whole bunch of New Yorkers. What wasn’t smart is that after getting in trouble in part one of the finale for copying some copyrighted images on to the self-made T-shirts in her collection, she replaced those shirts with more copyrighted material. Apparently, according to New York Magazine, Irina not only used the name of their annual “Reasons to Love” New York issue for her “Reasons to Love” shirt, but she also decorated the shirt with the magazine’s 2008 reasons, word for word. Ummmm, Irina isn’t it you who is constantly calling out Althea for copying your ideas? Don’t you think that plagiarizing a magazine might be a little worse than Althea being “inspired” by your sweaters? Wonder if the show was so long ago that the statute of limitations has run out on New York magazine suing Irina for every cent of the $100,000 she won?

Amazingly, Carol Hannah was the first one out of the top three — a big mistake as her collection was much better than Althea’s. But apparently Althea got some brownie points for “being in touch with the street” from the judges. I agree only if you’re talking about the kind of street where girls with shiny orange faces, purposefully horrible ’70s hair and schlumpy posture parade around in sundresses and Uggs. Not a street I’d want to walk, especially if I were making my New York fashion debut. But I guess that’s how Althea rolls.
So, anyway, congrats to Irina. May you live long and survive the multitude of intellectual property lawsuits that are coming your way shortly.

On “Top Chef” it was also a march toward inevitability. OK, it was inevitable if you had been of my thinking all season long that if all is right in the world Kevin, Jennifer and the Voltaggio brothers would be the top four chefs.

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And though I did believe for a LOOOOOONG time that those four would make it to the finale, I was worried that, in true “Top Chef” tradition, some bad apple would slide into the finale instead of someone with genuine talent. The thought of Lisa having even a chance to beat out Stephanie for the title in Chicago still gives me nightmares. And then there’s the fact that yucky Hosea actually WON the whole thing last season gives me fire-eating-circus-freak type heartburn.

But, thanks to the Top Chef Gods, the likes of a Robin did not make it into the finale, having flamed out a week ago. Now, the fifth chef left standing in this episode — Eli — wasn’t “Robin” bad. He’s not even Hosea or Lisa bad. He’s just kind of OK. It’s kind of bad when the only meals I can remember a contestant cooking are ones based on stolen eggplant (Poor Jen!), circus peanuts (EWWW!) and whatever the heck he was cooking when he and Robin started yelling at each other and he said she wasn’t his mom.

So, to whittle it down to four, the chefs had to compete in the “Top Chef” version of the Bocuse D’Or, a cooking competition that makes “Iron Chef” look campy (say what?!). Basically, the chefs had four hours to cook a protein (either salmon or lamb) and two sides before nervously presenting their dish on a heavy mirrored platter to some of the best chefs in the world. No pressure. You know, it’s just like the best job interview ever combined with some sort of twisted scenario where one could both royally screw up and get seven years bad luck.

And honestly, by the way the judges were talking at the dinner table, it was really, really hard to tell who did a good job and who didn’t. Not too sure if that’s a sign that everyone is neck and neck or if these people are just the worst dinner dates known to man. That said, it was clear they chose their winner by a process of elimination. My interpretation:

• Michael Voltaggio = Imaginative but a little too whimsical. Plus one judge got a bone(!) in his salmon.

• Bryan Voltaggio = Perfect idea, horrible execution.

• Eli = Raw fatty lamb. (Ewwwww!)

• Jennifer = Uneven salmon but perfect side dishes.

• Kevin = Simple, but well-cooked. Bonus points for going out of his comfort zone and sous-viding his protein despite having no idea how to do it until the night before.

And the winner of $30,000 and a spot on the next U.S. Bocuse D’Or team? Drum rolllllll: Kevin. Proving that creating edible food is important in a food competition.

Which, of course, was something that Eli was unable to grasp, which was why he was sent home. Or at least that was the official version. I think he was sent home because of this meal and the last one (remember the circus peanut soup). He should have gone home last week for his inedible dish, but the judges chose to send Robin home because she too should have gone waaaaay earlier. I’m glad the judges chose to keep him because Robin clearly needed to go, but I kind of think he was still being punished this week for that circus mess.

Can’t wait for the finale!

Random thoughts:

• I almost forgot: Jennifer won the quickfire challenge!!!! Yay!!!! As Padma said: “Welcome back.”

• Seriously, who wears what Althea wore to her fashion debut? That looked like a “I’m at home doing laundry” kind of outfit rather than a “Hello, fashion world, how are you?” kind of look.

• Um, I’m sorry, but the “Project Runway” guest judge looked like a cross between a Harry Potter teacher and the Great Gazoo from “The Flintstones.” At least she gave good notes.

• The guy with the pig tattoo should win “Top Chef” — sorry to my other faves, which would be everyone left.

• I’m still not convinced that Irina’s daddy gets what winning “Project Runway” means of Irina’s career. I just kept thinking as he cried on the runway, “Wow, now this is over and Irina can get married.” (And as an aside: What does it really mean to her career with the long litigation delay this season?)

• I used a lot of exclamation points this week! Who’s excited for multi-part finales??? Me!

• And, may I tack on to that last thought: Thank God “Project Runway” is over.