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Do you think moving in together before marriage will later prevent divorce?

Asked at Walmart, 550 Congressional Drive on March 23, 2012

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Photo of Katie Gorham

“I think it could help — you get to know your partner better. Living together or traveling, they tell you a lot.”

Photo of Dana Houk

“Yes, I think it helps.”

Photo of Judy Gaus

“It just depends on the couple.”

Photo of Teron Brown

“I don’t think it’s necessary, if you take the right steps in courting.”

Comments

autie 2 years ago

If I ever get a project like painting/construction/building something etc...I send my wife someplace not where I'm working. I do not need someone sweeping up between pieces of sheetrock...it drives me crazy. If we hung wallpaper together..wait, we did one time. but I cain't taukboutit.

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Kiana Griffin 2 years ago

I think cars are meant to be test driven, not people. People are priceless and deserve more than having their "tires kicked" by numerous people and returned to the lot. I like how John Thomas says it:

"...you're not buying a car; you're searching for the person you'll spend the rest of your life with, raise a family with, and grow old with. You're much better off to look for connection in other areas — spiritual, personal and emotional compatibilities. The last thing you need to worry about is sexual compatibility or performance... [that] is something that grows, matures, enhances over time, and surely can't be judged on a "test-drive."

You can learn a person's character without having to live with them. Try canoeing together or hanging wallpaper. You'll learn a lot right there! :)

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Antonym 2 years ago

Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months.'

Steve continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says, 'You better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find.'

(from an unknown source)

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autie 2 years ago

Of course, with comments like that I could wind up being exiled to Mule Creek Island. Ya see, I was only kidding about the last part.

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autie 2 years ago

I just wish my wife would/could make biscuits and gravy. The foundation of a good marriage is a man that can catch, kill, clean and cook. While the wife is cleaning and shutting up.

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Rara_Avis 2 years ago

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." RI This, coming from a South American porn star. You must be one of them people that got religion. "Does anyone know what the VIP theater is like at the Legends?"- RI Well, for some reason I still have a Platinum card from Pacers in San Diego from a bachelor party in 1992. Cheesiest strip joint I've ever been to. You automatically get a VIP card to bait you to come back. I felt really dirty and cheap that night. The cops are mean in SD, too. I was pushing the groom down the sidewalk in abandoned grocery cart at 3am. This cop pulled over and told me to take it 4 blocks back to the grocery store. I told him I didn't take it from the grocery store. He said he would arrest me if I didn't. It went against my principles, but I took it back. I bet bail is pretty high in San Diego. Worse in La Jolla. Now I called up Zink to hit some spots Bought a couple of beers to chase the shots Pacers, platinum until two Then over to the vu to see what kind of trouble we can get into

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CWGOKU 2 years ago

I've lost interest in work for the week. Anyone care if I go home now?

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Celeste 2 years ago

I lived with the ex-fiance for three years, it didn't work out. I dated my now-husband for 11 days and we eloped to Vegas. This year will be our 13th wedding anniversary. So it's just the luck of the draw, I guess. I'm so much happier, I like to say I needed to learn what I didn't want before I could recognize what I did want. And I'm glad, because I love my husband with all my heart.

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rockchalker52 2 years ago

Okay, a Crave is out. I'll just throw a barbecue instead. Turns out that the missus doesn't really care for monster slashers. Sheesh, just when you think ya know a person...

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Christine Anderson 2 years ago

Hell, relationships are not worth the trouble in any case.

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SOS 2 years ago

I've lived with a lot of women over the years. I'd have to say it prevents marriage, and eliminates the need for divorce.

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Rara_Avis 2 years ago

I always thought I might want to be a doctor. Where else could you ask a woman to take off her clothes and send a bill to her husband? You can get sex anywhere. If you’re looking for someone to love you, now that’s different. I guess you have to stay in college for that.

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RoeDapple 2 years ago

http://mangafox.me/manga/akatsuki/

"Akatsuki: a powerful demon of illness which spread into victims, turning their eyes red, and slowly killing them. Usually, they take form of a strong monster connected to the victim's body. The only way to cure the victims infected with Akatsuki is to slash the victim's body with special anti-Akatsuki weapons, known as "Crave."

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asixbury 2 years ago

Moving in with someone before marriage, and before becoming engaged, is definitely a good idea. You get to see your partner as they really are, not as the imagined person you've built in your mind. You will also have an adjustment period to see if you can actually put up with the person you intend on marrying. If you cannot live together peacefully before marriage, how in the world would it work after? Marriage is just a title; the wedding is for relatives. I was "married" to my husband before vows were ever spoken. If all the importance of one's relationship is put on becoming married, marriage simply becomes a hollow symbol. The date my husband and I first started our relationship is the important one for us (it's 3 years more than the wedding anniversary).

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rockchalker52 2 years ago

I'd say it's irrelevant in most cases. What's a Crave 'zactly? I was thinkin' of throwing one at my house, but I don't know the rules.

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Bob Harvey 2 years ago

Seems somewhat ironic with all the negative comments about marriages not lasting we, at the same time, are arguing that everyone deserves the right to marry. If it doesn't work why are we trying to hard to push others into it? Suppose its because everyone has the right to screw it up right along with the rest of us.

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whats_going_on 2 years ago

In my situation, yes. If we hadn't lived together for a couple of years first, we probably would end up getting a divorce. We got our living together problems out in the open and we are better adapt to handling them.

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booyalab 2 years ago

I've heard about a few studies that say it hurts. The most recent one I read about said that the divorce rate is higher specifically for couples who move in together in order to "test" the commitment. It makes sense to me that the line of thinking would not be conducive to commitment. Commitment is a personal choice, it is not something out of your control that happens to you.

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ms_canada 2 years ago

I would say it depends on how long you live together. It would have to be long enough for each party to let their hair down, open the cracks. Time to itemize all the things you felt you could never live with permanently. Oh, Oh, time to part. but that might not be easy or without rancor either. It would be sort of like a divorce, would it not. Same old. same old.

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g_rock 2 years ago

Um, you all know that I'm way too jaded and bitter to answer this without some issues.

I lived with a guy for 10 years. He wanted to marry me and I knew it wasn't right. It was still worse than a divorce when it ended.

I've been seeing a guy for 6 years and it is kind of the other way around. I want to move in with him and marry him and he is dragging his feet.

One day, maybe I'll figure it all out with someone else...before I'm too old.

So at the moment, I'm opting for beer and basketball. And maybe a cookie.

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prospector 2 years ago

I liked his answer an the poll better:

"BABBOY (anonymous) says…

Sure. In some instances.

But, women are crazy.

So, who the flip really knows........"

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The_Original_Bob 2 years ago

"Bob, I am glad that the Mule Creek adventure did not affect your marital harmony." Prospector

You'd be good wife material. You make a mean biscuits and gravy.

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CWGOKU 2 years ago

I hate it when the poll and the OTS are the same question. Yawn. The answer is no, just as not living together before marriage prevents divorce is a no answer too. No guarantees. And I am still looking for some of that gorilla art

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prospector 2 years ago

You should ask the Magic Eightball or just flip a coin.

Bob, I am glad that the Mule Creek adventure did not affect your marital harmony.

Renaldo, the time draws nigh.

http://morelmushroomhunting.com/morel_progression_sightings_map.htm

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 2 years ago

Does anyone know what the VIP theater is like at the Legends? Is it anything like the VIP room at the strip club? Cause that would be cool. I am going to my second movie theater outing in 18 years, so I am trying to make it special. Hoping it has a happy ending.

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 2 years ago

Fornicators and Harlots the lot of you. Where are you morels? Marriage is an institution, playing house is just playing house.

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RoeDapple 2 years ago

The little woman says my courtin' style would get me arrested for stalkin' 40 years later. Whatever. We still like each other purdy good. Most of the time.

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mom_of_three 2 years ago

I lived with my husband before marriage; celebrating 22 years of marriage this year.

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The_Original_Bob 2 years ago

The wife and I lived together prior to being contractually obligated to each other. No issues here, although I don't see how living together prior to being married either helps or hurts a marriage. It is about how well the wife makes biscuits and gravy.

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BABBOY 2 years ago

I do not know.

Pretty sure I saw a poll question on this though.........

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purplesage 2 years ago

Statistically, couples who live together and then wed have higher divorce rates than those who do not do so. Way too many slip knots being tied these days; but shacking isn't the way to prevent it.

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 2 years ago

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

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50YearResident 2 years ago

Marriage? Divorce? There won't be any marriages within 20 years, it's comming to an end, so there won't be any need for a divorce either. Life styles are changing. People are changing. Everyone wants to be independent. We are reverting back to our animal instinct. "catch, do, and release"

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Scott Morgan 2 years ago

In my case living together was the right thing to do. Not many folks did it, many family members spoke in whispers about my bride and I. There were many in our condo complex who shunned us.

Both of us were starting careers. Both of us were known as hard to get along with. Both of us really enjoyed each other and were spending a lot of time dating. One night we both simply added up the time and money of keeping two households and did the deed.

Thinking back over 30 plus years being married, I guess the couple of years spent living in sin really bonded us. We always add two years on our anniversary years.

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RoeDapple 2 years ago

better to be pssd_off than pssd _on my old pappy always said

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Loki 2 years ago

I wonder how many times abit_pssd has been married, if any.......

I wonder if Crave has any coupons for anger control classes/sessions......

I wonder if abit_pssd complains about this to others, if so I would sign him/her up for mass junk mail offers as a patriot wishing to help save the postal system......

I think the test to determine if two people shoul marry should be to send them Crave and see how they react and if their reactions are compatible.

:)

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Richard Heckler 2 years ago

Can Sam Brownback prevent divorce?

It seems if there were any known preventions.....

Marriage obviously does not prevent divorce...... there's the answer. No marriage = no divorce

If a couple is happy being together without marriage let the get on with it

If a couple is happy with marriage let them get on with it.

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autie 2 years ago

I don't care. This is all an illusion anyway. It's not raining so concentrate on the impending mushroom explosion.

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Bill Lee 2 years ago

According to statistics on the subject, it doesn't help. I've always felt it's because both parties are on their best behavior since they are wanting a commitment that they haven't gotten yet. It's only after real long-term commitments (marriage) are made that people let down their walls...if then.

If you don't believe me, ask my ex-wives.

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abit_pssd 2 years ago

I like this site. Sorry to post my problems with LJW and that "CRAVE" rag. However, this is a pretty stupid question that got my attention.

Everyone is different. Moving in together before or after marriage has nothing to do with divorce.

Just ask the egg-head from Cambridge, on his forth marriage who came up with this, why he is so obsessed about it.

  • Let it be
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abit_pssd 2 years ago

Geez, I had a complaint yesterday and had one response from LJW about this stupid "CRAVE" paper that ends up in my mailbox. It came from that forum where people are asked questions from random places in Lawrence with their picture.....Same complaint today. Why am I complaining? Tell you the truth am not a "Green" person but am sick of the waste of postage and stupid coupons that fall out of this stupid paper. PLEASE STOP.

I did get a reply from someone from LJW but I have no idea who this person is. My reply:

"Hi. I just checked and someone named Alex emailed me to try to help me out. However, he/she wanted to know my email address to forward to someone higher up.

...Thanks for the "help" Al......However, that stinks. You tell ME who to ask for, Please. I think I can take care of it from there. I really do not like getting that stupid "CRAVE" in my mailbox - not a door hanger".

Any suggestions???

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Rae Hudspeth 2 years ago

I'm with Katie, traveling together is the dealbreaker or not. Away from familiar territory, irritations, TSA.. to see how that person deals with the uncontrollable circumstances and how they treat others as a result of it will tell you a lot about their character as a whole.

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Benjamin Roberts 2 years ago

Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

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