If you could teach a parrot to say anything, what would it be? / LJWorld.com

Asked at Pet World, 711 West 23rd St. on January 16, 2011

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“Parrots don’t talk.”

— Tashya Taylor, printing company employee, Lawrence

“Your mom.”

— Jessica Miller, medicine major, Lawrence

“I’d get it to call people names.”

— Ryan Evans, computer technology major, Lawrence

“Come back with a warrant.”

— Larry Hopkins, retired, Lawrence

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beatrice 2 years, 10 months ago

I believe she was being ironic. The parrot would say "Parrots don't talk."

riverdrifter 2 years, 10 months ago

I like Larry's response.

My old pet raven, Hector, always said "What does it want? Want? Go 'way." Then he'd peck at his feet, chortle and look you in the eye like you owed him money. Hec was a great raven.

Cait McKnelly 2 years, 10 months ago

My dad walked by a mynah bird in a store once. The bird said, "Go to he77!" My dad said "No!". Then the bird in a whiney voice said, "Whyyyy?"

Cait McKnelly 2 years, 10 months ago

I had a friend that had a blue and gold macaw (the second largest of the macaw types). He was a huge bird. He would sit on my friend's knee and his tail would brush the floor. He took great delight in terrorizing the cats and one of the first things he learned was "Here kitty kitty!".

AnnaUndercover 2 years, 10 months ago

Eek! Awesome.

Also awesome: "Come back with a warrant." Lol!

Flap Doodle 2 years, 10 months ago

"woof"

cooltrix 2 years, 10 months ago

"That's what she said"

RoeDapple 2 years, 10 months ago

Awwkkkk!! This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement!! Awwkkk!!

Boosh 2 years, 10 months ago

“Parrots don’t talk.” actually made me chortle.

misterlee 2 years, 10 months ago

Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

bearded_gnome 2 years, 10 months ago

"we're all gonna die!"

"what would you do for a Klondike bar?"

“Come back with a warrant.”

very good!

plus honorable mentions for Roe and somebody else.

"no honey, it certainly doesn't make you look fat!"

Flap Doodle 2 years, 10 months ago

"Cyberthugs!"

wysiwyg69 2 years, 10 months ago

nobody is home, but if you come in my house you will be shot.

LogicMan 2 years, 10 months ago

"Arrrgh, mateee. Walk the plank!"

blackfox1945 2 years, 10 months ago

F I R E !!!!!!!!!

misplacedcheesehead 2 years, 10 months ago

"Chiefs suck, Chiefs suck"...

misplacedcheesehead 2 years, 10 months ago

On behalf of my daughter who will soon be out of a job, I'd teach it to say, "Dan Simons, pppffffttt!"

Nikki May 2 years, 10 months ago

Well, technically they don't "talk". They mimic the sound of the human voice. They don't have the same vocal structures as us. However, I have never thought of what to teach it to say since I never have had one. Most useful around here would be "turn off the tv." and "go to bed".

notajayhawk 2 years, 10 months ago

Well, technically, they don't talk to US. They may be quite capable of holding a conversation among themselves.

I remember reading an article several years ago about an orangutan that could speak to humans in sign language. There were some scientists arguing that was not necessarily an indication of intelligence, since a) she only had a vocabulary of about 150 words, and b) she displayed no curiosity; i.e., she didn't point to a door and ask "What's that?"

To which I thought a) that's about 150 more words than any human can speak (let alone sign) in orangutan, and b) maybe she already knew it was a door! (And figured there was little point in learning the human word for it, since they weren't going to open it for her anyway!)

Nikki May 2 years, 10 months ago

I wasn't implying they didn't know words, nor that they didn't communicate. I'm saying they don't have a larynx is all.

Cait McKnelly 2 years, 10 months ago

From personal experience I can pretty well guarantee they know what they are saying. They have the intelligence of at least a two year old and really intelligent members of the species can have the intelligence of a four year old. My friend's macaw (see above) knew that when he said "Here kitty kitty", the cats would come. You could say he didn't know what he was saying, just knew that when he made a particular set of sounds he would get a predictable result. BUT that doesn't explain his screeching "byebye! byebye!" when he saw me putting on my coat, picking up my purse and heading for the door. Again, making a particular set of sounds in response to an observed situation doesn't mean they are "talking to us". But it is approximately the same behavior you see in a two year old. They don't really "talk" to us either. But they do know what they are saying.

notajayhawk 2 years, 10 months ago

"... so he sat there in the freezer, looked over at the turkey, and said 'What did you do, tell her to go ...' "

jonas_opines 2 years, 10 months ago

BCMan took my first idea, so I'll just go with "Nevermore!"

camper 2 years, 10 months ago

I've spent hours and hours trying to get my goldfish to talk and I'm not having any luck.

Chris Ogle 2 years, 10 months ago

Can you fly?

J Good Good 2 years, 10 months ago

Some seem pretty smart. A family member's bird mimicked all kinds of sounds dead on, including the laugh of one of the daughters, a specific baby's cry, and yelled out the name of one of the sons every time the phone rang. If they don't like you, it doesn't seem like you can really win them over. They bond to only certain people.

Cait McKnelly 2 years, 10 months ago

You know Barber County?

Cait McKnelly 2 years, 10 months ago

My sister used to own Buster's.

riverdrifter 2 years, 10 months ago

Is the general store still open at Belvedere?

riverdrifter 2 years, 10 months ago

Buster's is new & improved but I liked the old.

Cait McKnelly 2 years, 10 months ago

My sister owned the old and unimproved Buster's. She would do karaoke on Friday nights and boy did that place swing. She'd move all the tables and stack them on the sides so they'd have a dance floor and the fishbowls flowed like...fishbowls.

Cait McKnelly 2 years, 10 months ago

Here. It's a video my son made a year ago last Thanksgiving when my sister, Katt, still owned the place. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWCiBM...

Cait McKnelly 2 years, 10 months ago

The thing about the "new and improved" Busters is that the guy that bought it made it like any other eatery in the world. Heck you may as just as well go to Longhorn Steakhouse. They gutted everything that really made Buster's unique. My sister donated all of the rodeo photos to the Barber County historical society. A lot of the stuff she still has, like the old tin Coke sign and stuff like that. She still has the old BBQ smoker that was made in the Oklahoma oilfields out of steel pipe and is using it at her new place in Leavenworth. A lot of the old decor from the "old" Busters is there too. Anyway, the video I posted will preserve the "old" Busters. I hope it makes you a little nostalgic :)

riverdrifter 2 years, 10 months ago

I was in Buster's once, years ago, and he should've had one of these: http://wimp.com/beerscup/

riverdrifter 2 years, 10 months ago

I took Hector the raven back to Minnesota a few years ago as he wasn't happy in Kansas. He hangs out at a resort on a lake that is closed in the winter and he's fine from all reports. He doesn't talk much anymore, from what my friend Pooty says. Hec sits up in a tree and says "Hawks. Hawks". Poot says they can't make him say "Dogs" no matter how much they treat him. University Duluth-Minnesota hockey team is the Bulldogs...