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If you could teach a dog to do any trick, what would it be?

Asked at Target, 3201 Iowa St. on February 11, 2011

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Photo of Mollie Keffer

“Can it be something my dog already does? Because then it’d be smiling.”

Photo of Lenora Brecheisen

“Shovel my drive.”

Photo of Charley Forsyth

“Probably teach him to be able to read and summarize scholastic journal articles.”

Photo of Megan Olmsted

“I would teach her to fly.”

Comments

beeshlii 3 years, 1 month ago

teach him how to work, so i don't have too. i had enough of this thing called WORK.

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Bob Forer 3 years, 2 months ago

How bout if I taught the dog to teach itself every trick in the book. Dog tricks are fun, but I don't have the time or patience required.

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bearded_gnome 3 years, 2 months ago

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.

---by john steinbeck

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tennesseerader 3 years, 2 months ago

The first trick we taught our dog was "speak". Once we did that we taught them "quiet". After several years, quiet is still our favorite trick.

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pace 3 years, 2 months ago

I know some brothers with a pit bull, I would like to watch him pull a Palin.

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Flap Doodle 3 years, 2 months ago

Ever since they discovered Fritos, the lemurs drink an amazing amount of water.

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The_Original_Bob 3 years, 2 months ago

Lemurs must drink a lot of water.

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Flap Doodle 3 years, 2 months ago

I'd like to be able to teach the dog how to operate the pump that keeps the stock tank full of water. Being able to drive the dump truck would also be a good trick for a clever dog.

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Thinking_Out_Loud 3 years, 2 months ago

Any trick, huh? Probably the cups and balls. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHXQRd...

Might leave out the potato, though.

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pace 3 years, 2 months ago

I would get him to resign from congress.

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ophiuchus 3 years, 2 months ago

Hey... I'm home ... was able to get away a little early today ... and, hey, I walked out of here without my portable this morning ... good thing I was able to...

HEY! What's going on here?!

Bad dog! Bad!

/ I'm gonna get banned yet!

Baaaaad dog.

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ophiuchus 3 years, 2 months ago

Having read the writing on the wall, in this Brave New Unthreaded LJWorld, what will become of the fanciful banter of days yore? What of the interplay? the harmony, discordant as it sometimes was? And, the duets! Oh, the duets! What will become of them?!

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autie 3 years, 2 months ago

g_rock (anonymous) says… I don't have a dog. But I'm getting one. And I'm teaching him how to type. At midnight. It will be an epic battle from now on. I'm totally psyched about it too!

So to understand. You teach him to type. Get him a user name "ku dog" ?

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The_Original_Bob 3 years, 2 months ago

"Hi, Bob."

Howdy! Now you are learning.

Down with Threads!

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g_rock 3 years, 2 months ago

I don't have a dog. But I'm getting one. And I'm teaching him how to type. At midnight. It will be an epic battle from now on. I'm totally psyched about it too!

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Flap Doodle 3 years, 2 months ago

This comment pre-removed for using a vulgar sexual term to describe someone on the sinister side of the aisle.

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deathpenaltyliberal 3 years, 2 months ago

Mine is trained to hunt teabaggers. He justs sniffs a crotch, and if nothing is there, he alerts.

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HollisBrown 3 years, 2 months ago

Dear God, Autie! Gary Spivey is the coolest thing I've ever seen. Forget Pastor Terry Jones. Gary Spivey for President of the World. He obviously is connected to the most sane, intelligent people on earth. http://www.garyspivey.com/photo46.html

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autie 3 years, 2 months ago

Gary Spivey is a poodle clone experiment gone horribly wrong.

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The_Original_Bob 3 years, 2 months ago

Gary Spivey is a true patriot and hero.

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autie 3 years, 2 months ago

Snap, I flat don't understand how in the world anybody is dumb enough to fall for that kind of pure nonsense. Not even the lemurs would fall for that.

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squawkhawk 3 years, 2 months ago

I'd teach him to not embezzle from the school he works for.

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autie 3 years, 2 months ago

I had always heard the the standard poodle was an exceptionally intelligent breed and can be taught many things. I now have proof. Unequviocally one of the smartest dogs ever. Some can even be trained to become internationally reknown con artist.

http://www.garyspivey.com/

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HollisBrown 3 years, 2 months ago

I'm still hoping Pastor Terry Jones will go to Egypt and settle things down. But I won't let him near my dog.

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ophiuchus 3 years, 2 months ago

Just one trick? Pony impersonation.

/ of course, then he could take the show on the road, solo.

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CWGOKU 3 years, 2 months ago

You can't teach an old dog new tricks

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fleeba 3 years, 2 months ago

I would teach my dog to let himself outside and then back in to do his business

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prospector 3 years, 2 months ago

I had a dog that enjoyed checking out visitors by goosing them in the rear. I would tell folks that you would not believe how long it took me to teach him that trick.

See, Mubarek learned what will happen to you if you thread.

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 3 years, 2 months ago

snap, would not that be kinda bulky?

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Flap Doodle 3 years, 2 months ago

I'd like to teach my dog to go uptown wearing a black hat.

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 3 years, 2 months ago

"OK...was it Bob or R_I that got gigged at 9:49? I miss the pink. " - autie

autie, I am hurt that you would automatically ASSuME that, instead of maybe someone like somedude20.

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HollisBrown 3 years, 2 months ago

I would teach my dog to dance. I do dance with her sometimes but I always have to lead. I really want to see her trip the light fantastic on her own.

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HollisBrown 3 years, 2 months ago

Still here, Bob. I've missed you, too. I think Whitney has been in a bad mood without me around, so now I'm back.

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autie 3 years, 2 months ago

Hollis had one post yesterday I recall, maybe more. He'll wake up here after while. He might be taken night classes or doing after hours snow removal.

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The_Original_Bob 3 years, 2 months ago

More importantly, what the hell happened to Hollis? Is he in the midst of an ether binge again?

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The_Original_Bob 3 years, 2 months ago

"OK...was it Bob or R_I that got gigged at 9:49? I miss the pink. "

Twasn't I, but I think Whitney is in a bad mood this morning.

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The_Original_Bob 3 years, 2 months ago

I didn't even have to train my dog not to use threaded comments. Just pure natural common sense instinct.

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autie 3 years, 2 months ago

OK...was it Bob or R_I that got gigged at 9:49? I miss the pink.

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somedude20 3 years, 2 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

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CWGOKU 3 years, 2 months ago

Finally a good question......... woof

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 3 years, 2 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 3 years, 2 months ago

To lick his junk in private. I will have people over, and he is just going at it unabashed. Yell at him, and he just gets this goofy look on his face. Zap him with the hot-shot prod, and he just yips, tail tucked between his legs.

At least the kids behave.

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autie 3 years, 2 months ago

I wanted to send my dog to law school but it cost too much. So now he designs houses with all the new fangled green gadgets.

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The_Original_Bob 3 years, 2 months ago

I guess Whitney doesn't like what I've trained my dog to do.

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The_Original_Bob 3 years, 2 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

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Kontum1972 3 years, 2 months ago

Poo on command....where i want him too...

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ophiuchus 3 years, 2 months ago

Keep my persona alive in the forums during the day while I'm at work.

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consumer1 3 years, 2 months ago

speak spanish, he already speaks English. Then he could translate for me.

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looza 3 years, 2 months ago

I would teach my dog Ebonics. So that way he could help me understand the rap videos on BET.

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number3of5 3 years, 2 months ago

I don't need to teach my dog tricks. I need to teach him how to greet people when they come in the door. I also need to teach the people who come in, no touch, no talk and no eye contact, as Cesar so aptly says it.

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KU_cynic 3 years, 2 months ago

Communicate with me telepathically .... and sniff out scarce women in a post-apocalyptic world.

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PROAMERICA 3 years, 2 months ago

bite a liberal member of congress

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RoeDapple 3 years, 2 months ago

Sarah P. is 47 today. Happy Birthday Sarah!

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BruceWayne 3 years, 2 months ago

use a camera, a laptop, and mix drinks. all while I am holding my backdoor open with my foot.

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Scott Morgan 3 years, 2 months ago

Fetch a beer from the fridge and then shovel snow

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budtugly 3 years, 2 months ago

Fetch a beer from the fridge.

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Flap Doodle 3 years, 2 months ago

Design houses. Heck, it can't be that difficult.

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Ron Holzwarth 3 years, 2 months ago

Successfully beg money from strangers.

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scottpewenofkit 3 years, 2 months ago

Why does the Lawrence Journal World exist?

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