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What do you think makes a good dad or father figure?

Asked at Dillons, 4701 W. Sixth St. on December 26, 2011

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Photo of Shawn Stetson

“Somebody who’s selfless — willing to put children first. And someone who’s not just looking out for now but also for their children’s long-term well-being.”

Photo of Laura Heim

“It takes a lot to be a good dad. The main thing is just to be there, and to be a teacher and a supporter.”

Photo of Katie McGrath

“A good dad is loving but also consistent. And a good follower and listener to God and somebody who brings that to his family.”

Photo of Erika Hicks

“A dad who spends quality time with children and somebody who accepts them for who they are — someone loving and caring.”

Comments

jayhawklawrence 2 years, 3 months ago

I have always thought of my children as divine creatures with God as their real Parent. I am just the mediator and trying imperfectly to fill the shoes of the Man (or Woman).

I believe that creating an atmosphere in your home and in your relationships where it is easy to imagine the divine and ponder the highest morals, ethics and ideals is very important.

If a parent understands the enormity of the job they have been given, how can they not want to sacrifice everything for the sake of a child. Because none of us is good enough and our children will remind us of this fact from time to time, we need the help of a higher power.

It helps to learn to pray often when raising children and to realize that they are also raising you.

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goodboh 2 years, 3 months ago

I think that a good dad is someone that is always there for his children just not at conception. Conception does not make you a dad. It is how involved you are in the child's life. Being there for them when they are sick, when they are hurt, need your advice, praising them when they do good things, helping them pick up the pieces. Giving advise and watching them make mistakes. That is what a good dad is!!

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anticommunist 2 years, 3 months ago

love the responses! a good father will facilitate a child's personal, internal discovery of their individual personality. He'll let them make their own mistakes, but also teach by example. He sets the precedent, the standard of operating the material mechanisms of life -- and in this great country, a father has the supreme benefit of bringing a child into a world where he or she can truly pursue what they feel satisfies them -- spiritually, materially, emotionally, intellectually. keep up the family-oriented questions, lj-world!

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bearded_gnome 2 years, 3 months ago

answer to the question: time time ... time ... time ... time!

child learns his or her opinion of God from the father most of all. a girl age 9 and up learns how to judge men, most of all her future husband, from experience with her dad.

dads do protect.

dad must love his wife, mom, and do it consistently, in a way that the kids can know and trust.

I have my dad's pipe stand with six of his pipes in it. he died when I was sixteen years old.
I am an idealist because of my father. I care about the good of my community and fellow man because of my father. my sense of humor is about straight from him (so blame dad!) we backpacked several times 50miles across the Sierras, Dad taught me a lot about camping and the outdoors.
my dad had a beard, I learned it from him.

I learned a lot from Dad.

because he was there and I knew he cared for me.

he spanked me too, most often with a rolled up newspaper. I also hated to make him mad or disappoint him.

my Dad believed in Christ. when he died, I was in the inevitable adolescent rebelion. I came to faith in Christ when I was 25 and already had a B.S..

I love my Dad, I miss him every day. I look forward to seeing him in heaven.

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labmonkey 2 years, 3 months ago

I forgot who it was who said that if you have two children and one grows up to win the Nobel Prize/cure cancer/etc..., and the other gets robbed by a hooker, you are still a failure as a parent.

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beatrice 2 years, 3 months ago

According to Maury Povich, it all starts with a conclusive DNA test.

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My_Life 2 years, 3 months ago

Gonna have to double up on the prayers.

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autie 2 years, 3 months ago

Teach them to go to church? Ha. You take them then they get older and wise up. Let them make up their own minds.

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My_Life 2 years, 3 months ago

Easy. Teach them to go to church and always put Jesus first in their life.

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SouthSide 2 years, 3 months ago

"a good follower and listener to God and somebody who brings that to his family"

-- ??

Sounds like a child's nightmare, just think about it.

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milkman_dan 2 years, 3 months ago

A good dad lets you wear his eye patch and on your birthday, you get to take his glass eye to school to show your friends. He teaches you that there really is more than one way to skin a cat.

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 2 years, 3 months ago

Yesterday the whole family unit went shopping. At one point we ended up in the "personal care" aisle, choosing disposable razors. I randomly grabbed a bag of Bic® razors and Smith, my eldest son grabbed them from me saying "French company" as he tossed them back in the bin. I then grabbed from a different bin, and my daughter took the bag from me saying "King Camp Gillette was a socialist". Once again I reached for a different brand, and then Wesson, my youngest son took the bag from my hands and said "Schick ran to Canada to escape investigation by Congress" So that left Personna®, but the spousal unit asked me if I wanted a straight razor.

I don't know.

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pace 2 years, 3 months ago

Watch Dads walk in the parking lots with small children. They are safer if he herds them rather than leads. It says a lot. He watches the kids and is ready to pull them back from danger. There are many ways to be a good dad, but mostly be there, time. I had a great Dad and he treated us all different. He encouraged my sister in sports, me in literature, he expected us to do our chores, wasn't stupid about how kids could make poor choices. He had a demanding job but he would drag us around with him on his errands. He had time, interest, patience, understanding. I was more concerned with getting in trouble with him than I was being cool with my friends. No Dad I would not jump off a bridge if my friends suggested it. He told very corny jokes. He had faults but I sat here now wishing he could tell his stupid joke about the bait shop, which was so embarrassing. I just asked one of the best dads I know, what did he do best as a Dad. He said paying attention, and changing the diaper occasionally, even if it gave him the heebie jeebies and was awful.

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autie 2 years, 3 months ago

On the flip side...it is not being a baby daddy like I see so much these days. Stupid ass kids thing they are something "giving" some girl a baby. I know of one such loser/creep/criminal/drug dealer/scumbag that actually has by most counts, nine children with seven different women. You know he ain't raisen anything and it certainly doesn't speak well of the women's character. This is what is wrong with America.

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fan4kufootball 2 years, 3 months ago

Being a loyal and loving husband to his wife is a very good start.

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Tony Kisner 2 years, 3 months ago

90% of success is just showing -up?

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1029 2 years, 3 months ago

One that pushes his children to become champions. Wakes them up at 4am for batting practice in the backyard, pulls them out of school early on Friday afternoons to hit the weight room, makes them keep their baseball glove on at the dinner table, reads old baseball statistics to them at night instead of regular bedtime stories, etc.

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g_rock 2 years, 3 months ago

Am I the only one singing George Michael right now?

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BABBOY 2 years, 3 months ago

This is a good question but not one I am going to share thoughts on in a blogg.

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tange 2 years, 3 months ago

CWGOKU, I'd like to talk to Sybil, right now....

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CWGOKU 2 years, 3 months ago

Spare the rod, spoil the child

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autie 2 years, 3 months ago

It is simple. Always be there for everything. Everything is a teaching moment. Go to all parent/teacher conferences regardless. Be the coach or at least an assistant coach and go to every single game always. Take the kid/kids fishing...often. Let them make mud slides at the river. Teach her to shoot like Annie Oakley. Make it FUN.

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tange 2 years, 3 months ago

One who hasn't suffered a disconnect from his own childhood...

“All grown-ups were once children... but only few of them remember it.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

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grammaddy 2 years, 3 months ago

Someone who teaches responsibility, patience,self-sufficiency and unconditional love by their actions and gives them the freedom to spread their wings.A role model with a good work ethic.

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emily_litella 2 years, 3 months ago

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Gandalf 2 years, 3 months ago

Depends on the age of the child. Overall granddads make the best fathers. More patience!

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Bill Lee 2 years, 3 months ago

I wish I knew. I loved my dad, but he wasn't perfect. I love my children, but I feel I've been less than they deserve.

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Loki 2 years, 3 months ago

Someone who passes down the great art of a successful dutch oven...

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labmonkey 2 years, 3 months ago

Someone who is strong enough to provide their children with a sense of direction and teaches them to be self-sufficient. Accepting a child for who they are is great until they are still living at home at the age of 25. Also someone who sets a good example by backing up the talk with actions (someone who sets a good example by his actions).

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