Advertisement

Previous   Next

What is the key to a great bowl of chili?

Asked at Hy-Vee, 400 W. Sixth St. on October 13, 2010

Browse the archives

Photo of Diane Karpowitz

“Serve it on a really cold day.”

Photo of Scott Elwell

“Invite a friend over that knows how to cook.”

Photo of Barbara Anderson

“A bottle of beer.”

Photo of Gary Coffman

“Hot peppers, hot Rotel sauce and green peppers.”

Related story

Comments

Kontum1972 3 years, 6 months ago

a box of strike anywhere matches or a BIC lighter...

0

mdrndgtl 3 years, 6 months ago

The best chili is made with the ground-up remains of your enemy's parents.

0

H_Lecter 3 years, 6 months ago

authentic...with real Chileans

0

riverdrifter 3 years, 6 months ago

I like chili with beans beans and I like it without beans. Don't soak'em for added entertainment. (ô¿ô) Snap's advice with the dash of dark chocolate is spot-on and I like Roe's opening shot at (gasp) 428 am. Was that late yesterday or early today, BTW? At least Roe didn't say "first".

0

Sagecasey 3 years, 6 months ago

I agree with no beans. One that I have found to be delicious is going chunky not soupy.Use half Italian sausage and half hamburger/deer meat., green pepper, red pepper, white onion, ro-tel, and jalapenos plus spices of your choice. Good chili should cause a nice forehead brow sweat.

0

RoeDapple 3 years, 6 months ago

G'bye Jack. Say hello to the 'hog for us . . .

0

autie 3 years, 6 months ago

Oh dear God, not again.....damn it. And he had all ten fingers.

0

BorderRuffian 3 years, 6 months ago

ya makes yer own Chili Powder. Plenty of chili arbol for heat, some chili ancho for da flavor, some chili chipotle for the nice smoky flavor and a little kick, some good ole granulated garlic powder, plenty of ground cumin seed - the Mexican kind. Oh, and add some more chili arbol - ya needs lotsa heat. If'n ya doubts, add more.

Plenty of good beans - dark red kidney, some pintos, maybe a few white. Oh, and add some chili arbols.

If'n ya gots ground venison, dats real good, too, and a little pork for sweetness. Did I mention adding in some chilis arbols?

Don't ferget a bit of black coffee to darken up the flavor. And some termaters. And add some more chilis arbols.

0

Benjamin Roberts 3 years, 6 months ago

Hot chili peppers, a habenero, and a bar of Hershey's dark chocolate.

0

g_rock 3 years, 6 months ago

I wish I could send the miners some chili...now that they are out. Maybe they can obsessively check my e-mail for me now that they have spare time.

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

Whimsy, can you yank some more of my comments? I'm toilet typing again and I feel like I'm being a spacehog, er, pagehog.

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

I got a brand new suit and a brand new wife I can live on rice and beans Some people never worked a day in their life Don't know what work even means.

I had my sinuses removed. I never needed 'em anyway.

0

jackbinkelman 3 years, 6 months ago

Cumin AND coriander, oregano and masa.

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

Boy, oh boy. Can somebody post today's horrorscope for Pisces? It must be really bad......

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

Hmm. I thought it was Iranians trapped in the mine. Didn't we settle that with that war JFK started in the 30's?

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

You got it Aut! Blues Brothers all the way! I'll pick you up in my Delta 88 ASAP. Sorry if I was rough earlier. I'm finding out a 20+ year "friend" is actually no friend at all. It's actually a big relief. I guess Whittle can disappearded me at her discretion. I like it here, but if I turn into a ghost in time for Halloween, it's been real, it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun:)

0

autie 3 years, 6 months ago

what about the breaking news....red dirters shaking in their boots...earthquake in Oklahoma..??? that might be more news worthy to me than you since I'm only 20 miles from red dirt land.

0

autie 3 years, 6 months ago

OK Jack. It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

0

g_rock 3 years, 6 months ago

"Oh, um What's it gonna be, baby? Chili sauce Oh Lord!"

0

somedude20 3 years, 6 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

0

eotw33 3 years, 6 months ago

Death Lizard Sauce with freshly chopped onions, a liittle mustard, and frito scoops on top.

0

trinity 3 years, 6 months ago

a big ol' glass of cold milk, alongside. oh and Fritos...but it must be scoops! :) and the chili? has to be my own. period.

0

CWGOKU 3 years, 6 months ago

Deep breaths Jack, take deep breaths and let them out slowly and count to ten. Remember what happened to Spacehog.

0

g_rock 3 years, 6 months ago

oh GoD, I needed this entertainment and distraction today......thank you....

0

whats_going_on 3 years, 6 months ago

the secret? WHY would I tell you?

Just kidding, never made the stuff.

Hmmm, if it isn't my mother in laws, than I wont eat it.

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

I don't say anything to get anyone's attention. I'm mainly here to amuse myself and anyone with a dry sense of humor. I have plenty of issues, but starving for attention isn't one of them. Whistle just hates me. Quit sticking up for her. And don't talk about my mom unless you're in the mood for a cold can of Whoopass. You and your buddy, Basement Boy.

0

The_Original_Bob 3 years, 6 months ago

Vanessa needs to be stopped. She is absolutely ruining the OTS.

0

CWGOKU 3 years, 6 months ago

Put in a few slices of Mexican Velveeta and a spoonful of mustard. Gives the chili an interesting kick. Drink a few beers first.

0

Roland Gunslinger 3 years, 6 months ago

Spicy but sweet- throw a small handful of sugar in. MMMmmmm!

0

RETICENT_IRREVERENT 3 years, 6 months ago

autie, autie, autie... You know full well that Ms. Matthews is to young to be a MILF.

0

autie 3 years, 6 months ago

Jack, this is just a prime example of love/hate. You do things simply to get Whitleys attention. Saying bad things to get disappeareded, resulting in negative attention, yet attention nonetheless. Did your mother beat you as a child? Do you see Whitley as your mother figure?

0

Kent Fisher 3 years, 6 months ago

CONTINUED... PART 2 OF 2:

Chili #5 Lisa’s Legal Lip Remover

Judge #1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge #2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge #3 – My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off may forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili #6 Pam’s Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge #1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge #2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge #3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous sulphuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili #7 Carla’s Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge #1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge #2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last minute. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge #3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are filled with lave to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing; it’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili #8 Karen’s Toenail Curling Chili

Judge #1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge #2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to REALLY hot chili.

0

Kent Fisher 3 years, 6 months ago

PART 1 OF 2: This is a long read, but worth it! Tell this story aloud to a group of people and you'll be laughing in tears by the time your done.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who has visited from Springfield IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judges table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank is Judge 3)

Chili #1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili

Judge #1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge #2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge #3 -- (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint on my driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!

Chili #2 Austin's Afterburner Chili

Judge #1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge #2 -- Exiting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge #3 -- Keep this out of reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili #3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

Judge #1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge #2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge #3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my back bone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pie-eyed from all the beer...

Chili #4 Dave's Black Magic

Judge #1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge #2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.

Judge #3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CONTINUED ON NEXT POST...

0

Flap Doodle 3 years, 6 months ago

Beans in chili are an abomination.

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

Dear God, Whitey! Really??????

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

Whitey has a quick, easy chili recipe. It's called This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

0

MacHeath 3 years, 6 months ago

I always throw in a can of chopped green chilies. Kind of the same idea as the Rotel. I use a small can of tomato sauce too.

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

0

puddleglum 3 years, 6 months ago

2 cans of dark red kidney beans and chili powder, of course.

when you are as pretty as I am, the food usually makes itself

0

Tom Shewmon 3 years, 6 months ago

Deerburger definitely. Then a mix of dark red kidney beans, butter beans and black beans. I always add a can or two of Ro-Tel.

Jack, keep some witch hazel wipes on-hand------it works.

0

HedleyLamarrr 3 years, 6 months ago

high quality spices. freshly ground if possible.

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

0

The_Original_Bob 3 years, 6 months ago

"G. PYROTECHNICS - No chili contestant may discharge firearms or use any pyrotechnics or explosives at a chili cookoff. Contestants discharging firearms and/or using explosives or other pyrotechnics will be disqualified from the chili cookoff. "

Pfff. What kind of lame chili contest is that, Nobody?

0

nobody1793 3 years, 6 months ago

Dag nabit. Y'all a bunch of lilly livered greenhorns. T'ain't none of them thar beans in chili, con sarnit!

http://www.chili.org/rules.html

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

The top 5 greatest pop albums of all time? Let's see. In order of release dates: "Pet Sounds"- The Beach Boys "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"- The Beatles "Off the Wall"- Michael Jackson "High Infidelity"- REO Speedwagon "Faith"- George Michael

0

rodentgirl16 3 years, 6 months ago

Steak instead of ground meat. This simple change has revolutionized my chili life.

0

JackFrost 3 years, 6 months ago

Yea Heavy and a Bottle of Bread.

0

g_rock 3 years, 6 months ago

Beer, cumin and a can of corn.

I tend to cook for my own taste and burn everyone else's face off. Oh wait...I don't cook for others anymore. Guess that means it is time to break out the HOT.

0

Rae Hudspeth 3 years, 6 months ago

Coffee and cumin. ... and rinse the beans well.

0

RETICENT_IRREVERENT 3 years, 6 months ago

The one secret I will share, is to cook by stone boiling in a cedar box. All the rest is hush-hush.

0

autie 3 years, 6 months ago

Scotch. For the cook of course, not the chili.

0

Flap Doodle 3 years, 6 months ago

Half ground buffalo, half beef stew meat, salsa instead of tomato sauce.

0

RoeDapple 3 years, 6 months ago

venison, skinless tomatoes and jalapenos. Mrs Roe makes a three bean chili that'll blow the socks right outa yer shoes!

0

Commenting has been disabled for this item.