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If you could write a book, what would it be about?

Asked at The Merc, 901 Iowa on October 12, 2009

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Photo of  John Rogers

“If I had the background, I’d like to write a historical fiction based on Native American culture.”

Photo of Bill Tuttle

“It would be about the African-American history of Lawrence, Kansas, focusing on families.”

Photo of Casey Sorell

“It would be about fairies and the make-believe realm for children, mainly girls. ”

Photo of Angela Jones

“I would write about the separation that my husband and I are going through while he serves in Iraq — the pain, the joy, the absence, the love.”

Comments

Bill Lee 4 years, 6 months ago

I'd write a second editon of my 1999 book about old Kansas rock bands, and I'd finish the other three books I'm working on in the series (later Kansas rock bands, Kansas country music and an illustrated discography of Kansas City jazz). I spend so much time doing research that I don't have time to write.

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Katara 4 years, 6 months ago

I'd write about an lonely old man who is so desperate for human contact that he reaches out to strangers in places he does not live. In a strange turn of events, he makes the friendship of a young Muslim boy.

In the end, the boy turned young man confesses to the old man, who is dying of cirrhosis and is on his death bed, that he was really a secret Jihadist sent to bring death to the old man infidel but could not bear to do so as he saw how pathetic the old man's fears about the world were and pitied him.

The young man tells the old man he has learned a valuable lesson from the old man's fear and will devote his life to encouraging friendship and cultural understanding around the world in the old man's name.

The end.

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jonas_opines 4 years, 6 months ago

"I wish I could stop posting on this stupid site. It is like a bad soap opera. It is like the Sopranos. It was fun at first, but now it is just stupid……."

Maybe we should make a 12 step program.

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beatrice 4 years, 6 months ago

I could write a book about a shockingly pale, doughy looking racist loser in terrible need of some sun who posts comments from his mom's basement where he still lives even though he is likely in his late 30s by now. He has to come up with a new log-on name every two weeks or so after he gets disreappeardeded time after time for writing stupid and racist comments again and again. He is so transparent and his posts so shallow that virtually everyone can spot him almost instantly each time he reappears. As the saying goes, you can't teach a stupid dog any tricks at all.

I'd call it "Flushed Again: The Invictus Story, as told by TheGreatSantini or any of his many other names."

It would be a terribly dull read and I'm sure nobody would buy it. Eventually they would destroy all copies and, like his posts, there would be no record of it having existed.

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northtown 4 years, 6 months ago

Driving thru Lawrence ?????????????????

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jonas_opines 4 years, 6 months ago

So, Kim Jong Il's desparate and Quixotic plea for face continues.

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1derer 4 years, 6 months ago

I once set out to write a historical novel about how many Frenchmen it would take to defend their country from foreign invaders. I ran into several dead ends before I realized that no data exists because they have never tried it.

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RoeDapple 4 years, 6 months ago

From what I hear about their guidance system they couldn't hit the ocean if they dropped the missiles overboard!

(no i didnt heer that dont be throwin no rocks at me)

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autie 4 years, 6 months ago

Did you see where the North Koreans fired off some more missiles? They shot off 5 surface to surface missiles and this time, the article says they just pointed east...I guess so they could say the didn't miss cause they was just aiming at the Pacific Ocean. Ya see, Dear Leader don't see so good no more so they gave him a broad target.

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autie 4 years, 6 months ago

The was part of the title I think. If that has something to do with French moonshine whiskey and little this pancakes at you cousins house on the fourth of July. But that French talk gots the letters of the words all mixed up and little sqiggley things over some of the letters so I didn't know what it meant altogether.

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autie 4 years, 6 months ago

I started in on one now I just need to come up with a catchy fake name..one of them nom da plums...like that guy that wrote stories about candy bars, O Henry or something. Careful, that cuzins thing might already have a copyright/trademark thing going on. but the one I was thinking of is written in French and I don't know if it has been translated yet.

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BABBOY 4 years, 6 months ago

Santini, you sound a little obsessed with the health care thing. I bet your fun to drink a beer with (sarcasm).

I would write something about Science Fiction.

I would agree 100 percent with Satirical on this question. I wish I could stop posting on this stupid site. It is like a bad soap opera. It is like the Sopranos. It was fun at first, but now it is just stupid.......

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TheGreatSantini 4 years, 6 months ago

Mine will be called “the bitter old liberal bitty who posts on LJW.” It is really a long boring story mostly she sits at home with her cats for 25 years and at the end she dies after a botched surgery performed by an incompetent socialized healthcare provider. No comes to her funeral.

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Satirical 4 years, 6 months ago

Mine would be a book about what you should never write a book about. Thanks for all the material fellow LJWorld bloggers : )

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beatrice 4 years, 6 months ago

It would be about 220 pages long.

Or, it would be about a lady who was quietly going about her business as governor of Alaska, when suddenly, an ancient and evil wizard selects her for national attention so she could become the punchline to literally half of all jokes told during the course of a year. She is so unhappy by this development that she quits her governor post and is never heard from again. The end. I'll call it "Mavericked."

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RoeDapple 4 years, 6 months ago

i wuz thinkin more like paperback with accompanying box of crayons....

x-D

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Leslie Swearingen 4 years, 6 months ago

So, Roe, are the books going to be available in a set with leather bindings, red ribbon bookmarks, and the covers illustrated with appropriate paintings by Dali? I would write a book about the history of the possum in Kansas and how much they have contributed, but have got scant praise or recognition for their efforts. It would be a modest twelve book collection wth color plates that I created on PhotoShop.

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Shane Garrett 4 years, 6 months ago

I would write a book about all the mad cap mis-adventures of the acting crew on Pywackets "hit" tv show called the "Cuzins of Kansas City". Whee doggies!

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denak 4 years, 6 months ago

I would write a book about how hard it is to get my book published and how this caused me to sink into depression and spiral downward into a life of sex and drugs. However, in the end, my book would end up getting published, spend numerous weeks as number 1 and end with me on Oprah talking about my journey of self-discovery and acceptance.

Dena

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passionatelibra 4 years, 6 months ago

I would write a book about my cousin who is/was a serial killer.

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Donnuts 4 years, 6 months ago

I'd write "Coalminer's daughter" about someone like Loretta Lynn.

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puddleglum 4 years, 6 months ago

I'd write a book forecasting the weather for the next 20 years, day by day.

or maybe something about french fries instead.

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sgtwolverine 4 years, 6 months ago

I think sunglasses designers are reaching the physical limits of how big sunglasses can be while still remaining on the wearer's nose.

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Donnuts 4 years, 6 months ago

If I had the background I would like to write a novel about Arayan Brotherhood and their culture. It would be about whites focusing on their family culture.

It would be a great pop- up scratch and sniffle about how the west was won and the Americas conquered by whites and how indifferent others are to the history of one person inside a small Kansas town. It would include elements of identity theft and torture where one person is surrounded by a group to blame for all the history a group don't like about history without any relevance to what one individual does in his life. wadda ya think? It would be patterned after "Throw Ronnie from the Train"

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autie 4 years, 6 months ago

Bravo Pywacky, bravo!! Sounds like a winner.

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Boosh 4 years, 6 months ago

It would be about sex. So the Topeka Shawnee County Public Library could put it on the shelf to tick people off :)

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Pywacket 4 years, 6 months ago

I think I'd write a story about a humble man of the Ozarks--let's call him Jed. Times being hard, Jed would spend all day just trying to keep his family fed and decently clothed. Having lost his wife, this simple, decent man has spent the last 15 years or so just keeping the patched roof over the heads of his little family and a little bit of stewed squirrel and greens in their bellies.

Having set the scene, I would then have Jed out hunting one late autumn day with his faithful bloodhound, Ol' Duke. As dusk falls after many hours with no success, Jed is near despair, thinking of his pretty young daughter and his bony old mother facing another hungry evening in the old cabin. He wonders if he has the strength to hike over to the next hollow and see if his widowed sister and her bright, 6th-grade-educated son have any stewed sow belly and hominy to share.

Suddenly, as dusk darkens to night, a rustling in the underbrush gives Jed hope for some game in the pot after all! He shoots! The possum scurries away--but a strange, black substance spurts from the ground. Feels and smells a little like the lamp kerosene they have nothing left to trade for.

Jed fetches a rusty can from the trash heap behind the outhouse and collects some of the bubbling, crude stuff and takes it into town next day. Before you can say, "Wheeee doggies," the oil men descend on Jed's property, offering him huge amounts of money. Lawyers and bankers are hot on their heels, with advice and fawning friendship.

The simple man and his family, confused and staggering under the weight of the riches that pour into the new bank account as quickly as the black gold oozes out of the ground, succumb to the lure of tinseltown, cement ponds, and double-barrel slingshots.

I'd better quit wasting time and get to work typing this up. This story of American triumph over poverty will practically write itself! Bet I'll get all kinds of offers from publishers and TV producers alike!

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 4 years, 6 months ago

Maybe a treatise on how the margarita is a integral part of celebrating Columbus Day, and why I think the margarita was the drink of choice of John Locke.

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mom_of_three 4 years, 6 months ago

I would write about my family's history and the search for my grandmother's real dad.

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Matt Warman 4 years, 6 months ago

I am going to write a book about how my wife wants to go to new York and apply for a job on the Late Show, with David Letterman, for some reason.

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The_Original_Bob 4 years, 6 months ago

"What about a guide to post apocalyptic bunker living? " Autie

The rise in insectoid sunglasses and the coming apocalyptic nightmare are directly related and living a happy and productive bunker life will be a chapter in the book.

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autie 4 years, 6 months ago

please....put the bong down and step back....

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Donnuts 4 years, 6 months ago

I would write one about a group of kids that planned something when they were younger to take over control of this small but influential town and bill themselves as heroes when in fact they were not. They would respectively become law enforcement, judges, and district attorneys and city officials so that they could take over commerce and instill their colleagues in high posted places in the town. They would 'leap frog' with each other in careers. Where one would be a police officer while the others were getting degrees like as a lawyer and public accountant and grocer. They would rise to power and influence many people to do many things they wanted them to, but also deal in drugs and prostitution and not get busted because of the connections they made in town by being on the police force and in other city positions.

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autie 4 years, 6 months ago

TOB, I would figured a book on biscuits and gravy...I'll bet you a dollar that you know who will say you know what...What about a guide to post apocalyptic bunker living?

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Donnuts 4 years, 6 months ago

It would be about a stooge and a person with a conscience where the stooge just did anything a person with money told him to for the ends of his political means and making his people look good for the shallow reward of a little money and the person with the conscience went through his younger years wandering and searching for his way in life which ended up being a path less taken and in forging his way through life became a renowned figure in history; instead of just doing what others wanted him to. It could be comparable to "Sidhartha" or such where there are two people in the beginning that know each other and at the end of their lives even though they took similar paths when they were youths they ran across each other in age the one was exposed as a follower to no ends and the other learned to forge his own way aside from the direction or mis-direction of others that 'know the way'.

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MissinLawrence 4 years, 6 months ago

ah good one autie....i would like to write a book about the history of sunglasses ( i hope this hasnt been done! haha)

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The_Original_Bob 4 years, 6 months ago

I would write a book about the coming invasion of insectoid sunglasses aliens.

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autie 4 years, 6 months ago

A history of midwest barbeque.

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RETICENT_IRREVERENT 4 years, 6 months ago

What, Tell the Great American novel's plot line on here and have someone who types faster steal it? Nope, not gonna do it.

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jonas_opines 4 years, 6 months ago

It would, theoretically speaking, be the story of a young girl named Sarah Kensington who loses her father (a man with many problems). At the beginning of the book, her grandfather before he dies gives her a strange key but doesn't tell her what it's for. When she's 10, coping with a broken but rebuilding family she finds the box for the key, containing an amulet inside that takes her to a mytic world named Alkalagon. There, the king (that turns out to be her grandfather), his court and his land and power have been frozen into marble statues, by the power of the Kuroken, a dark force that has invaded their world. The king, through images and dreams, enlists her help to turn the curse and gives her a giant magical sword, that no longer has power, and that she can't even lift, that supposedly holds the key to salvation, and she is charged to find the remnant of the good magic in the land that can battle the evil. With the aid of a golden animal companion, she flees the king's castle with the minions of the Kuroken in pursuit, no clue where she must go or what she must do, and escapes into a new world for her to save.

Theoretically speaking.

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Flap Doodle 4 years, 6 months ago

I'd write about how the owls are not what they seem.

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Das_Ubermime 4 years, 6 months ago

It would be about yay tall by yay wide.

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Donnuts 4 years, 6 months ago

It would probably be science fiction but based on reality. when I graduated high school the story was about man's inherent addiction to technology. I chose to make a story based on people that had implants in their bodies based on this technology so far as the people would die with the removal of these devices. There was a culture that did not have attachment to these devices and the people that were born among those that were addicted to them suddenly had a disadvantage to the ones that had not been placed on them from birth, so instead of privilege they were now at the mercy of the machines.

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