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Who does the majority of the housework where you live?

Asked at Massachusetts Street on March 7, 2008

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Photo of John Fowler

“Since I’ve recently retired, I do. We share the load pretty well, actually. I do the basics, and then she comes around and improves on my work.”

Photo of Kelly Barth

“I’m in a lesbian relationship, so my partner and I share the misery equally.”

Photo of Brady Lewis

“We split it up evenly. It’s a partnership, so we try to make it as fair as possible.”

Photo of Anna Smith

“I live in the dorms right now, but at home it’s split between my mother and sister.”

Comments

jonas 6 years, 9 months ago

I have a fat, floofy cat. I just pick up the cans and bottles, and then I chase her around until the floors are clean and the surfaces are dusted. Works fine.

preebo 6 years, 9 months ago

Maybe it's me... but what does sexual orientation have to do with housework? Is she indicating that only women do housework? Odd statement.

We'll I'm in a heterosexual relationship and my wife and I share in the responsibility. Actually, when the kids get a little older we're going to put them to work too.

GreenEyedBlues 6 years, 9 months ago

I do all the housework in my place. I have two roommates. While principle tells me that the workload should be divided equally, my need for an immaculate and guest-ready house usually trumps any issues about fairness. Besides, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

trinity 6 years, 9 months ago

i'm in a hetero relationship and i do pretty much all of it. except now&then the big guy just blows me away by doing little things like taking trash out without being asked, stuff like that. :)

jonas 6 years, 9 months ago

R-I: Is floofy a term in that fashion? I myself think it's much superior as a word to fluffy, at least in regards to my cat. The roundness of the oo sound in floofy presents a much better picture of the roundness of the fluff on this cat.

Besides, if I was forbidden for using a term to suit my purposes on the basis of its being used as a term for gays, I might not have any terms left to use.

Marty_McFly 6 years, 9 months ago

Who in their right mind would see Brady Lewis dance?

trinity 6 years, 9 months ago

i'm curious as to just what kind of dancer brady lewis is; interpretive? tap? jazz? hip-hop? river?

BrianR 6 years, 9 months ago

We have a house elf but we've also found that a layer of dust protects furniture :)

Frederic Gutknecht IV 6 years, 9 months ago

I think I'm on the good end of the making messes to cleaning up messes spectrum. That's not to say that the gal runs a deficit but...well...it does look like Greensburg, KS in our abode after the little twister goes searching for her keys or favorite gloves...or after a joyful cooking extravaganza. I'm talking overturned furniture and blood spattered walls...OK, substitute marinara for blood!~)

trinity 6 years, 9 months ago

ok i am really "duh" this morning...tob i'm trying to get the s's&z's thing; but having absolutely zero success. help!

OnlyTheOne 6 years, 9 months ago

" "I'm in a lesbian relationship, so my partner and I share the misery equally."

  • Kelly Barth, freelance writer, Lawrence"

And unnecessary comments such as this are one of the reasons I will not ever support gay rights. Your sexual orientation is your business. Not mine, not my children's! Hide it? No! But don't shove it down my throat either!

trinity 6 years, 9 months ago

aHA, tob! lol...i'm tellin' ya i am in slowww mode today. and it's friday friday friDAY!!! :)

i agree, he is likely still carrying a grudge. or, perhaps, deluded in to thinking that he's some sort of olde-english type of scholar? ;)

trinity 6 years, 9 months ago

now, THAT was funny! :)

well no matter how he fancies himself, i highly doubt that it would be even remotely close to what is the reality.

GSWtotheheart 6 years, 9 months ago

Since I'm a single parent with a teenage daughter, we share the housework. Although on days like today when she doesn't have school, she's home doing some chores. Then she's free to lay around and watch tv. She called to ask if she could make a pot of chili. Knock yourself out! LOL

Ceallach 6 years, 9 months ago

I'm a heterosexual widow so I alone bear the misery. I've tried to get the dog and cats to clean up their own hair but they are sooooo lazy. TMI Kelly, TMI.

hawklet21 6 years, 9 months ago

I do most of it, but I've successfully made loading/unloading the dishwasher, trash, and occasional laundry schlepping "man" duties. Now I just have to work on him to get the bathtub scrubbed... Everything else I don't mind doing because I am far too picky.

Dixie Jones 6 years, 9 months ago

my husband and i always had a agreement as long as i stayed home with the kids i would do the housework now that im back to work and working 3 jobs I STILL DO ALL THE HOUSE WORK hasnt anyone heard me blowing up on saturdays when im cleaning? Have a great day !

redneckwoman 6 years, 9 months ago

I was a 24/7 stay at home mom & did everything. I recently started working part-time at night and the only help I get from hubby (besides babysitting) is when he runs out of socks and underwear. The teen does do some help around the house but, I end up having to go back and reclean because of his halfa$$ job he did.

trinity 6 years, 9 months ago

it is nice to know that children who hardly EVAH clean, etc-can grow in to meticulous housekeepers. ;)

Outsidelookingin 6 years, 9 months ago

Blue, That sound like a father talking..... Your father in law probably said that too.

HW 6 years, 9 months ago

Redneckwoman- Why clean after the kid didn't do it right. I have fond memories of my mother following me around with a wooden spoon when I would halfa$$ things. 5'2" ball of fury with a wooden spoon. Granted it took longer for her to do that than just fix it, but she only had to do it a couple of times. As much as I hated it, I can already see wooden spoons in my childrens future.

trinity 6 years, 9 months ago

pretty much the only times i would go in to the squalor of my youngest two kids' rooms was when i was getting low on drinking glasses, dishes, silverware, etc; then the manic cleaning would begin. me cussin'&yellin' all the while, lol. the oldest was pretty much always a neatnik.

coolmarv 6 years, 9 months ago

I'm in a "traditional" relationship so I have my wife do it.

Actually she does the majority and is also one of those "oh my gosh, someones coming over so we must clean the house, now, before they get here". Absolutely drives me crazy. I do a share of the cleaning but do most of the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen.

Jason Bowers-Chaika 6 years, 9 months ago

OnlyTheOne (Anonymous) says:

" "I'm in a lesbian relationship, so my partner and I share the misery equally."

  • Kelly Barth, freelance writer, Lawrence"

    "Since I've recently retired, I do. We share the load pretty well, actually. I do the basics, and then she comes around and improves on my work."

  • John Fowler, retired, Baldwin City

And unnecessary comments such as this are one of the reasons I will not ever support gay rights. Your sexual orientation is your business. Not mine, not my children's! Hide it? No! But don't shove it down my throat either

Onlytheone, did you not notice that Mr. Fowler is unabashedly flaunting his sexual orientation? Is this why we all should not ever support the special rights that heterosexuals enjoy?

redneckwoman 6 years, 9 months ago

HW- Because most of his work is being done while I'm at work so I can't "follow" him around with the wooden spoon as my mother did to me also. Boy I learned real quick to not put my hands at my backside ;) OUCH!

2002 6 years, 9 months ago

I don't clean because I don't get anything dirty.

KaraGourley 6 years, 9 months ago

I will admit.. my husband does a lot of it.. I do the laundry and stuff here and there but when it comes down to a really good clean... it's all him!

I can try but I get so distracted that I never get it done like he does.

OfficeGirl 6 years, 9 months ago

My spouse will help get it done so that we can then go do something he wants to do. I want to clean up the house before doing anything fun that will sidetrack me and he's become very good about helping because it ultimately helps him get what he wants as well. He's always helped out some but since all the kids are out on their own he'll do any part of cleaning that needs to be done. Laundry is mine. Car maintenance/repairs are his. Yard is shared over beers and is usually pretty funny by the time we're finished. Redneckwoman, what's the deal with men calling it babysitting if hanging out with their own children but if we are with our kids, we are simply with our kids? Sounds like your kid needs a swift kick. The kids always helped at our house. My son quickly figured out if he waited until I was almost due home to start dishes and he had Pantera or something else that scared me at the time blaring in our kitchen when I walked in the door he could get out of it. Worked out great for him. The girls were great though. I thought everyone went into a tizzy of tornadic activity if company was expected. My husband makes the same comment as blue only now he knows that since I will never change he just jumps in and helps. He doesn't lose anything that I might misplace that way. :)

Lisia 6 years, 9 months ago

I do most of it because my husband and my roommate are lazy. And they don't mind the house looking like a pigsty, but it really bothers me. Some days I'm tempted to move out and just let them wallow in their own filth.

torcia 6 years, 9 months ago

I go to bars at night and pick up random women. I like brunettes and redheads 22-28 that are 5' to 5'11. I have not a fan of overly busty women and prefer a's, b's, and c's. In the morning I send them on their way. Then I do my own housework.

Nothing like giving needless info

BigPrune 6 years, 9 months ago

I do 90% of the housework. It's the way my wife wants it to be, and if I slack a little, I hear all about what a lazy bum I am. She is a dictator. Too bad she's so damn good looking.

My wife goes to the grocery store and runs the vacuum on occassion, but that's about it. I also cook the meals, take the kids to the doctor, change the wet or dirty diapers, run errands, take some to school, bathe them, brush their teeth, do the laundry, take out the trash, pick up the house, dust, mop, clean the bathrooms, vacuum, clean the cat box, shampoo the carpets and clean up any cat puke or doggy poopy paw marks. I also work 60 hours a week on top of this. Sometimes I only get 1 1/2 hours of sleep. If I do not complete my tasks in a timely manner - I hear all about it.

I feel like a slave sometimes, but that's okay because I am whipped. Too bad she's so damn good looking. At least I got one thing going for me.

torcia 6 years, 9 months ago

best quote ever re lesbians. From the movie Deam Man on Campus:

"hows it hanging lesbos"

HW 6 years, 9 months ago

redneckwoman- I remember the swollen knuckles. I swear that woman owned stock in a wooden spoon company. No matter how many of them my brother and I would break or hide, there were always more. On the part about being at work while he is doing his chores. Mom worked also. She would keep us home that night and follow us around until midnight if necessary. Now I watch her with my youngest brother, who is considerably younger than I, and wonder what happened to all of those wooden spoons. She says she is just getting soft in her old age.

As for the cleaning in my home, I cook, she cleans. That is how she wants it. She is too picky about how clean it has to be. She is like blue's wife also. I just crack another beer and do my best to stay out of earshot. Seems to work fairly well.

Linda Aikins 6 years, 9 months ago

In MY heterosexual relationship, my husband is 1000 times neater than I am, but we share the laundry, shopping, picking-up duties, but Susan the Wonderwoman does all the real housework. Love it!!!

southerngirl 6 years, 9 months ago

My husband read that when women have help with the housework that there tends to me more-er-lovin in the marriage....so I got a housekeeper : )))))) d

EarthaKitt 6 years, 9 months ago

OnlyTheOne: "...unnecessary comments such as this are one of the reasons I will not ever support gay rights. Your sexual orientation is your business. Not mine, not my children's! Hide it? No! But don't shove it down my throat either!"

Cool it buddy. Kelly's introductory phrase was obviously in response to how the MOS question was posed to her. The impetus for this question was an AP story about some study that showed that men in heterosexual relationships who do more housework also have more sex. I'm guessing the person assigned the task of gathering answers asked a poorly worded question.

No doubt the LJW employee asked Kelly if she or her husband did more of the housework. I'm guessing Kelly was simply clarifying her situation in light of the question that was posed to her. Maybe it would have made sense, however, for the LJW editors to remove the superfluous information, thus sparing their more sensitive readers' delicate ears.

On the other hand, think how much more interesting all conversation would be if everyone took Kelly's lead.... i.e. "I'm a divorced father of one who enjoys a good spanking now and again, so I think I'll have olives and pepperoni on thin crust."

FYI my husband does 85 percent of the housework and his sex life still sucks. Poor guy needs a wife who participates in studies!

chemegirlie 6 years, 9 months ago

75x55-

"Apparently there is a certainty among marriage experts that helpful husbands have more sex."

I showed that to my guy about an hour ago. He did the dishes and I just heard the vacuum start up! (I am not joking)

sunflower_sue 6 years, 9 months ago

"Apparently there is a certainty among marriage experts that helpful husbands have more sex."

Well, all I can say is that R_I must be getting way more than my hubby!

wysiwyg69 6 years, 9 months ago

I am in one of the [ non traditional in lawrence anyway] marriages you know, a man and a woman, where we both do the work, at home and our job.

sgtwolverine 6 years, 9 months ago

blue, also remember that on special occasions, it's called the BIG! OTS.

For those who weren't around then or don't remember: http://www.burrillstrong.com/wordpress/photos/bigots.jpg

swamp_rat 6 years, 9 months ago

I am in a voyeuristic "self-loving" relationship. I just can't seem to get my lazy @$$ up to do any housework!

Ceallach 6 years, 9 months ago

That is a great story, md! She must have been quite clever, then again, she was Irish :)

mom_of_three 6 years, 9 months ago

nice heads up Eartha. I agree that Kelly's response has to do with how the question was posed.

My hubby and I share the work. I wouldn't say equally because it depends on what it is. He cooks as often as I do, and we both do laundry. We both do dishes, but I tend to clean the kitchen more. We also have the kids pitch in and do their share, but there is a difference between what we think they should do and what they think they should do.

yeah_right 6 years, 9 months ago

I do! It drives me crazy, my kids are one and three and it seems as though I can never have the entire house clean all at the same time. When I am really overwhelmed I get an attitude with my husband and he gets it and does the dishes or something. I have finally decided that my house will have to look "lived-in" until the kids can start helping with the chores. My three year old likes to help with the dishes, but that typically ends up in a pool of water on the floor which I have to clean up. Looks like I'll be fighting this uphill battle for another five or six years. Love the kiddo-s and hubby though and wouldn't trade 'em for the world!

Frederic Gutknecht IV 6 years, 9 months ago

Slavery abounds. We are the trainees of creationist reevolution and scientific deevolution. Clean up your ACT!~)

beatrice 6 years, 9 months ago

I'm in a heterosexual marriage, but in a lesbian relationship with the housekeeper.

sunflower_sue 6 years, 9 months ago

Damn, Bea! Maybe I should get a housekeeper!

homechanger 6 years, 9 months ago

I'm Kelly look at me I'm a lesbian pay attention to me I'm a LESBIAN. i'M SPECIAL CAUSE i'M A LESBIAN AND i SHARE THE WORK WITH MY LESBIAN PARTNER. Come on Kelly are you really a lesbian or are you just happy to see me.

Tanya Spacek 6 years, 9 months ago

applause for EarthaKitt's response...I'll have to start paying closer attention when I'm in line at Rudy's!!

redmorgan 6 years, 9 months ago

Unfortunately, I do about 99.9% of it! My husband is sexist and doesn't think housework falls into his realm of responsibilities (his mother's fault). I tried going "on strike", but he doesn't seem bothered by living in filth, but I do. So, I just deal with it and do the cleaning. Well, at least I'm training my son to learn how to do housework.

GretchenJP 6 years, 9 months ago

Redmorgan, are you sure you want to be married to that man?

GretchenJP 6 years, 9 months ago

Damn hookers. Stay offa my lawn!!

The hookers used to do my homework too.

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