“No. Poor delivery I suppose, and a generally surly demeanor as well.”
“No, not at all actually. I’m not good at pre-planned jokes anyway, but I’m much better when it’s off the cuff.”
“Sure. I don’t know a whole lot of jokes, but I have good comedic timing.”
“Structured jokes, no, not at all. But I’m relatively good at making people laugh.”
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Comments
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
Most of the time, I can't "tell the jokes" from the straight lines.
RETICENT_IRREVERENT 4 years, 9 months ago
It's not like I am the Grand Exalted Imperial Poobah of joke telling.
beatrice 4 years, 9 months ago
... To which, Senator Craig begins lightly tapping his foot and whispers, "You know I prefer it when you call me Condi." Okay, TRA's response was better. Carol, I'm sure your parents were doing the best they could and no harm was intended by dragging you to church every Sunday. Time to let it go and move on. If that doesn't help you work out your childhood issues, maybe you could see someone.
dr_k 4 years, 9 months ago
Obviously you're still young; I'm guessing about 13. Try again until you find a therapist that can make a difference. You need help. You're a very disturbed little girl. Good luck.
sunflower_sue 4 years, 9 months ago
sgt, you are on the same wavelength as my hubby. We went to a function last night and at the door, they were questioning a 12 yr old boy about his age to verify his admission price. The hubby was walking by and w/out missing a beat said "Of course in China he's 21." har! Jonas, I enjoyed the joke. Me...not so much of a joke teller. Sometimes, though... Most of the jokes I have memorized would get "this comment removed by site staff."
nobody1793 4 years, 9 months ago
Yes. I'm hilarious.
jonas 4 years, 9 months ago
Well, if you liked it, cutny, I'd probably be worried. http://www.robotchicken.org/index.php?title=My_Stalker
RETICENT_IRREVERENT 4 years, 9 months ago
Maybe it is all part of "political correctness" or just being polite, but you never overhear someone in the workplace starting a sentence anymore with, "A Jew, a midget, and a pregnant nun walk into a bar :" - beaSeems like I have always worked at havens for the politically incorrect...
cutny 4 years, 9 months ago
So that's a "No" for Jonas.
snap_pop_no_crackle 4 years, 9 months ago
A three-legged dog walks into a bar."I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
A giant insect walks into a bar at night, refuses to remove her sunglassesto remain fashionable, walks out to the beer garden... and into the hanging bug zapper.
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
bea...Pete and rePete were walking up a hill.Pete fell down... who was left?
beatrice 4 years, 9 months ago
The gauntlet has been set. Okay then.This family walks into a talent agent's office. Agent asks the family to describe their act, so the father starts off: "We do a tumbling routine onto the stage, all landing in the splits. My wife begins a dance, and starts to remover her (oh darn, Jehovah Witnesses are at the door. I'll have to continue this later. Or Sigmund, care to finish it for me?)
beatrice 4 years, 9 months ago
Well, I thought we were headed somewhere, then TRA blows the whole thing with youtube. Talk about an anti-climax (or is it premature ejokeulation?). Just as well, Sig had already forgotten to mention the grandma with the glass eye and the pet hamsters.
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
Sig: "I dare you. I double dirty dog dare you!"One of my favorite websites is...http://www.youtube.com/ Aristocrats live in mansions... you will never see an "Aristocrats Trailer"
Sigmund 4 years, 9 months ago
tangential_reasoners_anonymous (Anonymous) says: "bea:Sig:bea:Sig: I think we all can see where this is headed. Why not cut to the chase:"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=223bYlLJSnUWhew!
beatrice 4 years, 9 months ago
Best art-student's joke:Q: How many Surrealist painters does it take to change a light-bulb?A: The fish.
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
Sorry, this would have been helpful...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa6aYfJf-qo
Sigmund 4 years, 9 months ago
beatrice (Anonymous) says: : "The Aristocrats!"I dare you. I double dirty dog dare you!
Sigmund 4 years, 9 months ago
beatrice (Anonymous) says: "Or Sigmund, care to finish it for me?"Sure, although it is a very long and detailed setup so this may take longer than the 3000 word limit. Anyway you forgot to mention that the family included mother, daughter, and son, and a wiener dog. Well the father, who has huge fists and forearms, begins to unzip(Shoot, the washing machine is beeping, You continue and I'll pick up where you leave off)
Wendy magillicutty 4 years, 9 months ago
And the bartender says to the grasshopper "we have a drink named after you!" to which the grasshopper replies "Steve?"
milkman_dan 4 years, 9 months ago
I was at an atm the other day and an old lady asked me to help her check her balance... So I pushed her over.
punkrockmom 4 years, 9 months ago
Ransom has got to be my favorite name I've ever seen on here.
beatrice 4 years, 9 months ago
A giant insect walks into a bar ... and removes her sunglasses.
Wendy magillicutty 4 years, 9 months ago
I'm hilarious, and modest too.
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
OK... ChristmasCarol, rantor...I think we all can see where this is headed.Why not cut to the chase:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=223bYl...
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
George W. Bush swaggers into a bar and... uh... never mind... this joke is eight years long, and it isn't even funny.
loudmouthrealist 4 years, 9 months ago
"I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,........."Bee Gee's, 1968http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2HOiMeDOrs
H_Lecter 4 years, 9 months ago
Humor...I have no need for humor.
Easy_Does_It 4 years, 9 months ago
I kill'em when I've been drinking. The more I drink the funnier I think I am. I also gain great insight on topical issues such as foriegn wars and the ecomony. So Yeah give me a few and sit down and enjoy.
coolmom 4 years, 9 months ago
i am usually good with the one liners i dont have a good enough memory to carry around any more. i do enjoy the jokes of others especially if you have to think a little or its about life, kids, that sort of stuff. i dont usually like the crude physical stuff but have a whole housefull of kids that do so that tends to make up a great deal of the comedy i am exposed to. apparently passing gas is hysterical.
canyon_wren 4 years, 9 months ago
Absolutely not! I always want to rush to the punch line and forget some of the details that are important. However, I apparently DO say some funny things, like Ben (above)--mostly ironic things--and can make people laugh at times. One really good thing about emails, I've found, is that all the good jokes that go around are funnier because you are scrolling down and don't usually look ahead to the punch line, so it is a surprise. There are lots of funny stories making the rounds, it seems like.
dajudge 4 years, 9 months ago
Hi, my name is Cliff. Drop over some day.Was that funny? I guess I'm not so good as a joke teller.A joke teller. Now that would be someone at the bank dressed as a clown?
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
lmr: "Bee Gee's, 1968"Incomparable.... but, of course, the joke was on them, during that disco-falsetto phase which followed:"...When you lose control and you got no soulIt's tragedy...."
jonas 4 years, 9 months ago
A boy was reading about American politics in his civics class, and he wasn't understanding it so he went to talk to his teacher, who told him to ask his parents how the government worked. When he got home he asked his dad, who sat down with him. "Son," his dad said, "the government and our nation are simple to understand. ""I'm the executive class, of course, because I make all of our money that we live on. Your mother is the government, because she takes the money I make and distributes it fairly to support our household. The maid is the working class, because she does the menial labor around the house that keeps it functioning, and is paid by me, the executive class. You, my son, are the people, because you're supported by the Executive class and the government. Your younger brother, just a year old, is the future because he has his whole life ahead of him. Does that make it clearer to you, son?"The boy didn't really understand that well, but he thought he'd sleep on it. In the middle of the night, he woke to his brother crying, who had messed his diaper. The boy went down to his mother's room and found his mom passed out on sleeping pills. His dad was nowhere to be seen, so he went down to the maid's room. However, as he peeked in there, he saw his dad, having sex with the maid. In the end, he returned to his room, changed his brother's diaper himself, and went back to sleep. The next morning, his dad asked him at breakfast whether he had thought about what they had discussed. The boy looked up, smiled, and nodded. "Yeah, I think I've got it. 'When the government is asleep, the executive class screws the working class, the people are ignored, and the future is full of crap."
tangential_reasoners_anonymous 4 years, 9 months ago
bea...Sig...bea...Sig...I think we all can see where this is headed.Why not cut to the chase...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=223bYl...
alm77 4 years, 9 months ago
I am rarely really funny. I do puns all the time, but they are cheesy and no one laughs. And because I'm not funny I'm amazed a comedians and moderately funny people. I can watch just about any stand-up comic on TV and laugh until I have tears running down my face. My husband, on the other hand, usually looks bored. By the time he cracks a smile, I'm laughing loudly. By the time he laughs, I'm looking for the "pause" button so I can catch my breath and stop crying before we proceed!
beatrice 4 years, 9 months ago
... "The Aristocrats!"People simply don't tell set-up jokes as much as they used to. Maybe those sorts of things don't interest us much anymore. Maybe it is all part of "political correctness" or just being polite, but you never overhear someone in the workplace starting a sentence anymore with, "A Jew, a midget, and a pregnant nun walk into a bar ..."Favorite kids jokes:Q: Why did the melon need to have a proper wedding? .... A: Because he cantaloupe. Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? ... A: Because 7 - 8 - 9.
sgtwolverine 4 years, 9 months ago
Like Lauren and Ben, I'm not so good with the planned jokes, but I do okay with the quick one-liners. But I haven't ever said anything nearly as funny as China did when it said its gymnasts were all 16 or older.
RETICENT_IRREVERENT 4 years, 9 months ago
autie,Blaming the Scots again?
sunflower_sue 4 years, 9 months ago
A man walks into the psychiatrists office wearing only seran wrap. The psychiatrist says: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
rantor 4 years, 9 months ago
After a few drinks, George Bush goes to the bathroom. He's at the urinal next to the only other person in the bathroom. So he turns to them and says, "So, Hillary..."
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