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In what setting do you experience the worst public etiquette?

Asked at Massachusetts Street on October 15, 2007

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Photo of Adam Huggins

“Anywhere I’m at, the cell phone etiquette is awful. Whether I’m working, waiting in line somewhere or driving, it’s invaded every facet.”

Photo of Kamaria Cartledge

“Probably at the movies when people talk or answer their phones. It’s just rude. Not talking in a theater is simple etiquette everyone should know.”

Photo of Dani Erker

“Whenever I’m at a restaurant and people are rude to their servers. I just don’t understand why someone would be rude to someone who is there to wait on them.”


sgtwolverine 10 years, 7 months ago

The internet!

Otherwise, I'd say it would have to be Ohio State football games. (Don't hit me, ohjay.)

Seriously, I like Dani's answer. Be nice to servers. I had one friend whose whole day was ruined by the comments of some customers. And, on the other end, I had another friend whose entire weekend was brightened by a generous tip.

reason 10 years, 7 months ago

okay,i'm at work and this person that works here seems to think she has to monitor and listen in all my phone calls and will interupt during my phone conversation that has nothing to do with her--its driving me crazy

storm 10 years, 7 months ago

People that hacker their snot and throat mucus on public sidewalks.

ohjayhawk 10 years, 7 months ago

sgt - no worries. I think you've know by now, I'm not a Buckeye's fan. I've not been to an Ohio State game (football, basketball, or otherwise), but I can only imagine... I know how a lot of fans of Ohio high school teams act!

As for the question, I don't think I can pick one. There are just so many rude people out there anymore. Although, etiquitte on the roadways seems to be REALLY lacking anymore.

Crossfire 10 years, 7 months ago

On the street. The nicest people crawl up into the driver seat, slam the doors and transform into a thing that they would be ashamed of any other time.

jonas 10 years, 7 months ago

crossfire: I don't know, I've found On The Street to be in general relatively polite. Compared to the rest of the commentaries, at any rate.

southernmiss 10 years, 7 months ago

Cell phones need to be checked at the door at the movies! I was at the movies with my daughter, and there was someone sending/receiving text messages throughout the movie. No sound, but that little screen sure was bright. If I'd been close enough, I would have taken her phone and kept it!

acg 10 years, 7 months ago

I would have to say theaters (with the talking and jumping up and down screaming, cell phones, etc.) and anywhere people can invade life with a phone. Folks, when you're in line at the quik trip, hang up the phone. Not only do the rest of us not want to hear your conversation but it's very rude to the clerk to have a person on the phone when they're trying to wait on that person. Whoever said the internet (above) was also right. Folks say alot in chats and on message boards that they would never have the cajones to say face to face. Oh, and while driving. Why must we all drive like Mario Andretti hopped up on speed? (yes I know my race car driver reference is dated, but shut up, I'm old).

sgtwolverine 10 years, 7 months ago

Phew. I just had to make sure, ohjay. I've actually never been to an OSU sporting event in Columbus, partly because of the stories I've been told. The football stadium is far louder than Michigan's, but I'm not sure a loud stadium is really worth the trouble they've had.

Jason Bowers-Chaika 10 years, 7 months ago

My pet peeves include medical providers that keep patients waiting for over an hour. I can comprehend the possible need to take extra time if a patient warrents it. I understand that some patients are late. But many professionals opt to charge for no shows and late patients that can not be seen within their appointment time window. It is arrogant to think that a medical provider's time is some how more valuable than mine. Why can't I charge for time spent wasted waiting on professionals?

My solution might include the Dr. working for free if overly late. Or perhaps calling patients to notify them that they are running late so that they can do some errands or wait elsewhere other than languishing in a room full of sick people and years old magazines.

Kat Christian 10 years, 7 months ago

The workplace. I have a co-worker who will walk around with a unlit cigerette hanging from her month as she walks outside to smoke it. This is a professional office environment. She will put her feet on her desk or chair as if she is in a bar. Dresses like she's in a bar atmosphere. And behaves like she is in a bar. I have a real problem with it. I don't know when the powers to be will catch up and notice it. Most people here do not behave this way.

jonas 10 years, 7 months ago

"I have a co-worker who will walk around with a unlit cigerette hanging from her month as she walks outside to smoke it."

Not as a personal attack but out of true curiosity, but why are you bothered by this? Has the offense of a cigarette gone beyond smell to simple sight? That doesn't make any sense to me.

jonas 10 years, 7 months ago

Having thought it over, I'm going to put my answer to the question itself as: at the express check-out counter. I think you all know what I'm talking about.

badger 10 years, 7 months ago

OK, so I'm really glad I only go to the Alamo Drafthouse now, with you people talking about cell phones and talking and rudeness at the movies. None of that is tolerated; if someone is being noisy, you just let your server know he's disturbing you when you order another beer, and management shuts him up posthaste.

Restaurants are where I see the most rudeness. I see people blowing their noses, coughing without covering their mouths, and having loud conversations (cell phone and in person) without regard for the diners around them. The one that really horrified me, though, was almost ten years ago. I was dining out with friends, and one table over from me was the loudest, most obnoxious man it's ever been my experience to observe. He insulted the woman he was with by announcing loudly enough to be heard across the entire restaurant that 'Lacey' was going to eat him out of house and home if she kept on 'at the feedbag' like she was, and made sly comments to the guy at the next table about how she could burn the calories and avoid being a fat pig (the woman in question was by no means even overweight, much less 'fat'). He was nasty to his server ("Are you stupid on purpose or just feeble-minded, boy?"), slapped a passing waitress on the rear, and then laughed when she spilled a drink because he'd knocked her off balance. He stuffed the contents of their bread basket into the woman's purse and asked for more.

Most of us just sat there, kind of stunned at him. One of the folks I was with complained to the manager, and when the manager went over to speak to him about it, the man started yelling about how he wouldn't stand for food with roaches in it, screaming and waving his arms and threatening lawsuits until finally the manager just asked him to leave. The offender and his wife/girlfriend/accomplice walked out, looking smug, leaving the picked-clean remains of a 50 or 60 dollar meal on the table that hadn't cost them a dime. To this day, I think it was a scam, but it still made the experience unpleasant for all considered. The five people at my table all tipped at least 50% of the cost of our meals because we felt so bad for the servers.

ohjayhawk 10 years, 7 months ago

sgt - I've actually not heard too many comments about people AT the game. I know that AFTER the game you can take your life into your own hands with some of the riots they've thrown. I also know that at WVU, they are known for burning couches after games... have never figured that one out. I don't think I'd mind going to a game at the Horseshoe (provided the price was right - free), just so I can say I've experienced it once. I know I wouldn't be rooting for the home team. (I also must let you in on a little secret. My wife is actually a Michigan football fan. She pretty much does it just to tick off her OSU-fan friends, but she roots for them nonetheless.)

Ceallach 10 years, 7 months ago

IMHO cell phones in restaurants beats out cell phones while driving. The reason being I have to listen to them in the restaurant. I blame "Star Wars." Some people seem to think that once the phone hits their ear a privacy cone surrounds their table. Other patrons must now listen to waaaaay more than we ever wanted to know about the phoneaphile's life. I'm sorry to say women seem to be worse offenders in this area than are men. Men may get a little rowdy if their pack is gathered around a table, or they may conduct business by phone, but seldom go into the gory details of their personal lives.

conservativepunker 10 years, 7 months ago

When I'm in a place of business and people let their squalling brats have a run of the place. Not everyone thinks little Jake or Melissa are cute as a bug when they are "expressing" themselves. Leave them home, get a sitter or teach THEM TO BEHAVE!!!

wheremyshoes 10 years, 7 months ago

Women over 50 who try to pick up young guys at bars.

Ceallach 10 years, 7 months ago

cp, you sound like my brother. He has long contended that a better separation for restaurants would have been Children/No Children (back when we were divided by smoking preferences :)

Ceallach 10 years, 7 months ago

RI, not the spoons, please, not the spoons. The offenses are too great!!

squarepusher 10 years, 7 months ago

"In what setting do you experience the worst public etiquette?"

The world in general.

H_Lecter 10 years, 7 months ago

In public restrooms when some guy is always tapping his foot and there isn't any music.

ms_canada 10 years, 7 months ago

Etiquette, one aspect of decorum, is a code that governs the expectations of social behaviour according to the contemporary conventional norm within a society, social class or group. wikipedia. By this definition, etiquette is a public social action. It is just plain good manners. Of course good manners would also have a place in private, say between two friends or family members. True? Etiquette is also dependent on culture. What is excellent in one society bay shock another. I believe that good manners, proper etiquette, was more the norm in years past. We seem to have developed the attitude of "Whatever" in North America at least. Not so in some other countries that I have visited. Good manners still play an active role in other societies. I think that good manners simply show that a person cares about the feelings of others. Used to be that a young lad would offer the only seat left on the bus to an elderly person. Not so much anymore. That is just one example of one person caring about another. Manners.

badger 10 years, 7 months ago

Oh, man, I brought yogurt for lunch, but all I have is a soup spoon!

What shall I do, Cealleach?

gestures dramatically at the yogurt with the offending soup spoon

adriennerm 10 years, 7 months ago

I hate when the parents of the crying child refuses to leave the movie theater. If you can't quiet your child down in 10 seconds, leave the freaking theater. Then come back in once your baby or toddler is quiet. I paid to see the movie, not hear you beg and plead with your baby to be quiet.

Next...when I am at my daughter school for a special event. Please turn off your CELL PHONES!! It's very rude to hear your cell phone jingle in the middle of the principal's or student's speech.

Last one.......the gas paid, you pumped, why on Earth are you sitting in your car doing nothing. Please pull off so other's can get gas.

Bone777 10 years, 7 months ago

Public restrooms (atleast the mens) - pee on the floor, poop on the seats, and boogers on the walls.

Neat. Really neat.....

sunflower_sue 10 years, 7 months ago

I think the worst place is the movie theatre with screaming toddlers. Why on earth can't people find a sitter or suck it up that they've made a stupid error and just leave. (As if they are the only ones who paid to get in to the show.) I don't go to too many movies anymore and this is the reason why.

I'm sure this would fall under bad public etiquette: I was at a store the other day and a young boy (5ish) really wanted a toy gun. Mom told him that it was a very nice gun and that he should put it on his Christmas list. Dad said nothing. The boy whined and cried. Mom told him to put away the toy. He walked away saying, "Stupid mom! Stupid mom! I hate you..." I was silently applauding mom for keeping her cool (I would have long lost it). UNTIL...I was getting into my car and saw the family walking out with a very proud boy carrying the toy gun. You gotta be kidding me!

Lifelong_Lawrencian 10 years, 7 months ago

The answer is obvious. At a pro football game. Especially when Monday night football is at Kansas City. I have never seen a larger collection of genetically disenfranchised morons in my life. I will never go back.

sgtwolverine 10 years, 7 months ago

ohjay - yeah, I think you're right that the problems tend to occur outside the stadium. I had to laugh -- my friend who lived there last year said he walked around the area before the Michigan game, and he said the heavy police presence -- including some armored vehicles -- made him feel like they had declared martial law. Relative to other big OSU games, the postgame was actually fairly peaceful, but relative to many other college football towns, it still was a mess.

West Virginia's pyromaniac tendencies spawned my favorite blog name. A WVU fan started a blog, and as a play off UnderArmour's "We must protect this house" slogan, he named it "We must ignite this couch." I laughed a long time at that one.

And tell your wife we appreciate having her on board.

adrienne -- "Please pull off so other's can get gas." Isn't that a personal problem?

sunflower_sue 10 years, 7 months ago

Public restrooms where women walk out w/out bothering to wash their hands:eeewwww! Also, who really does not know how to flush a toilet? Restaurants with the kid on the playstation-whatever instead of the adults trying to engage them in conversation as if the child needn't even be there. If you're going to ignore the child...don't bring him! People who don't cover when they cough:anywhere! Men/women (anywhere) who don't hold doors open for others (I notice this is more true for twenty-somethings).

adriennerm 10 years, 7 months ago

sgtwolverine, no that isn't a personal problem. If you paid for the gas, then you pumped your gas, why are you sitting in the car collecting your thoughts?????? I understand going back in for a cup of coffee or soda. I understand cleaning your windows, or putting on your seat belt. However, if you're sitting there making a freaking call, eating your hotdog, or picking a radio are being inpolite to other people who are waiting.

Crossfire 10 years, 7 months ago

H_Lecter, You may have been in a public restroom with Idaho Senator, Larry (the foot tapper) Craig. btw He has a wide stance.

sunflower_sue 10 years, 7 months ago

RI, knocking is so over-rated. Just learn to put on some pants. This is a concept that even SpongeBob understands. ;)

tyger_lily 10 years, 7 months ago

How about when you live in an apartment complex with a courtyard. Your patio is courtyard side so things have a tendency to echo. Now at 10pm on a Sunday night, take 5 or more of your friends out to the patio and start talking very loudly, screaming, hooting and hollering. Then bring your dog out to bark. Once security is called on you, be quiet for about 20 min and then start it all over again. Good example of having no consideration for other people, even though most people have to be up early for work the next day. This is what kept me up till 11:30 last night....

acg 10 years, 7 months ago

tygerlily, I have two words for you. Super soaker!

sgtwolverine 10 years, 7 months ago

acg, I thought those two words were going to be tear gas.

ms_canada 10 years, 7 months ago

There, you see, didn't I say it, etiquette is all a matter of caring for the feelings of others. :o)

Flap Doodle 10 years, 7 months ago

Wherever people are throwing burning garbage on the street. That fancy car of yours has an ashtray. Use it!

tangential_reasoners_anonymous 10 years, 7 months ago

"Etiquette in this country ceased many years ago, just ask my trashy neighbors."

Ask them? ... so, they're trashy but insightful?

GretchenJP 10 years, 7 months ago

At Walmart where parents let their children roam free like it's a zoo. Movie theaters where people talk on their cell. And waiting in line behind someone who's actually trying to check out and talk on their cell phone at the same time. RUDE RUDE RUDE.

kansas778 10 years, 7 months ago

For anyone who is rude to people working in a restaurant, bad idea.

deskboy04 10 years, 7 months ago

At bars when I try to light up a cigarette. Everybody tells me to put it out. How rude!

Kathy Theis-Getto 10 years, 7 months ago

At concerts of the classical type - clapping between movements, you know. :-)

GretchenJP 10 years, 7 months ago

Tychoman (Anonymous) says:

On the LJWorld forums.

haha, too true!

Dorothy Hoyt-Reed 10 years, 7 months ago

One of my pet peeves is women who don't want to sit on the toilet seat of a public restroom. It's ok, but why don't they lift the seat, so they don't pee all over it? Then when short, older women, like me, want to sit down, we don't have to clean the seat first. I've never really had an obsession about men in my house putting the seat back down, I'm just relieved they lift it. Why don't women straddlers please do the same?

pace 10 years, 7 months ago

people who don't mind their own business. Gossips that make fools gold out of straw.

tangential_reasoners_anonymous 10 years, 7 months ago

"In what setting do you experience the worst public etiquette?"

In the privacy of my own home.

Crossfire 10 years, 7 months ago

Leaving your X and her friend Ron dead on the side walk. Pretty rude, OJ Dude.

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