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How do you make amends once you realize you’ve made a mistake?

Asked at Massachusetts Street on September 29, 2006

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Photo of Carolyn Warpinski

“Everything in my power to make it right without doing any more harm.”

Photo of Rob Falkenstein

“I just try to go back and correct whatever it is I’ve made a mistake on and hope that no one else notices.”

Photo of Brian Lindaman

“The first thing to do is to get some advice from someone who isn’t involved. Then come up with a plan. It’s important to remember that making amends is more than just saying I’m sorry, it’s making an actual change.”

Photo of Allie Blessing

“I usually just apologize and try to make it up to them in some other way.”

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Comments

sgtwolverine 8 years, 2 months ago

Oops. Let me make amends for my mistake. I had been led to believe Sturgis, MI had its own bike rally, but I have not yet found evidence of this. Oh well.

I do now know that Sturgis is right near the border of Indiana. This makes me think of the line from one comedian: "Do you know the number one reason people settle in Indiana? Mechanical breakdown."

Becca 8 years, 2 months ago

"Well, when I figure out that I have fouled up, I generally arrange for the untimnely death of the person wronged.

I screw up a lot so I am running out of places to hide the bodies"

ROTFLMAO!! That was a great one!

jonas 8 years, 2 months ago

Sgt. : He wouldn't stand a chance. I was trained in infiltration and elimination by the best trainer out there, Syphon Filter!

sgtwolverine 8 years, 2 months ago

I know, bea, but it says "you," not "the president." Politics make for an unpleasant conversation at least as often as they make for a calm, civilized dialogue, so in my view it's best not to bring it up unless necessary.

Bone777 8 years, 2 months ago

I usually bag up the evidence, put it in someone's yard with an apology and a check for fifty bucks.

This is anonymous, isn't it?

beatrice 8 years, 2 months ago

Instead of Eve, I thought it was Pandora, in the study, with a box, who did it.

sgtwolverine 8 years, 2 months ago

concerned, I may be the one with the best reason to worry -- I live in Michigan. I'm not sure how far Sturgis is, but I know it's not that far away.

Maybe I should contact his employer...

Redzilla 8 years, 2 months ago

Yeah, I don't get how the soccer net thefts are related to making amends for a mistake.

A mistake is: you accidently put mustard on my burger, when I asked for no mustard. Amends: get me a burger that doesn't have mustard on it and say, "Sorry."

When you do something you KNOW is wrong, like stealing something, or invading a country illegally, that doesn't qualify as a "mistake."

sgtwolverine 8 years, 2 months ago

Jonas, that means he's wronged you. Watch your back.

SoupBone 8 years, 2 months ago

Is this about the soccer nets? Or is it about Yom Kippur--the Day of Atonement--being right around the corner???

Ceallach 8 years, 2 months ago

sgt, if you go to Sturgis, just remember . . don't eat any meat, be a vegan for the day.

Depending on who I have offended. My apology could range anywhere from, "I am so very sorry, what can I do to correct this to your satisfaction," to "I messed up, I'm sorry, now get over it and out of my face." The former for a business or slight acquaintance and the latter for those I truly love:)

beatrice 8 years, 2 months ago

Sorry sgt, but we now have a president who, not too long ago, couldn't think of any mistakes he had made while in office, and a president before him who made a mistake and we were all forced to learn every sorted detail. It is, indeed, a political question.

"increased bombings during the Holy Month of Ramadan" -- aahh, nothing quite says holy month quite like increased bombings. (Be careful when you shake that "present.")

sunflower_sue 8 years, 2 months ago

Depends on who is the benefactor of my mistake. Chocolate helps.

sgt, does Sturgis, Mich. really have a big motorcycle to-do just like Sturgis, SD? Do all towns named "Sturgis" have a motorcycle rally and do all the Harley owners just drive from one to the other all year long?

jayhawktownie 8 years, 2 months ago

first! being out of the country pays off.

sunflower_sue 8 years, 2 months ago

OMB, at least you don't have to atone for Eve eating that damn apple! Yeah, thanks Eve!

sgtwolverine 8 years, 2 months ago

Nice to see a Michigan presence in the OTS answers today. Sturgis is the site of a large motorcycle rally every year.

Also, I like omb's answer.

sgtwolverine 8 years, 2 months ago

...or injecting politics into a non-political topic...

beatrice 8 years, 2 months ago

I would have sworn that Marion's response was going to be "file for bankruptcy."

Since mistakes come in all sizes, the response has to be on an elevated scale - from a simple "sorry" to testifying against accomplices in the hopes of a lighter sentence (my apologizes to inmate for that one). It all depends on the situation.

sgtwolverine 8 years, 2 months ago

Oh, and ceal, I will be somewhat near Sturgis tomorrow morning (I'm driving down to South Bend), but this ensures I will not make a stop there.

acg 8 years, 2 months ago

LOL Sue. Yeah, women have been making amends for that f*ck up for years!!

concernedparent 8 years, 2 months ago

Ok, am I the only once concerned about the butcher's post? I can hear it now, damn, that tail went into the meat, oh well, nobody will find out....

Least you don't have to worry about his hair getting into it!!

ms_canada 8 years, 2 months ago

How to make amends? Hmmm _ I guess it depends upon the situation. Now take Iraq. How to make amends to the thousands of Iraqi women and children that have been killed over the years. Good question. I was reading this am how the new Al Qaida leader in Iraq has called for the kidnapping of Westerners there and increased bombings during the Holy Month of Ramadan and it seems many are answering his call.
So much effort was made to rid the world of Abu Musad Al Zarqawi. Done, accomplished. Guess what? a new leader was born. Reminded me of The Immortals. Immortals?? The 10,000 man army of Persian King Xerxes way back in 500BC. Called Immortals because when one soldier was killed another immediately stepped into his shoes. Kind of like Al Qaida.

Bone777 8 years, 2 months ago

Macon47 - Hey you "downtown merchant", quit bothering folks.

Grundoon Luna 8 years, 2 months ago

EVE WAS FRAMED!!!! Like Adam didn't know what he was doing. What? Like he wasn't there first so he didn't know the score. Stop the misogyny!!

Bone777 8 years, 2 months ago

Hopefully, Hillary will get a 'shot' at the White House. Bill's sex life hasn't been the same, since.
Hillary was so forgiving of Bill for marital treason, it will be interesting to see how she handles foreign policy.

Bone777 8 years, 2 months ago

I'm not a big fan of Bush, either.
Come on Ross Perot. Just make one more run.

beatrice 8 years, 2 months ago

Heck, I'd be happy being 1/10th that stupid.

beatrice 8 years, 2 months ago

macon: "just pull a bill clinton and lie out of it"

Ironically, if he actually had just pulled a "bill clinton," he never would have gotten into trouble.

Further irony (at least I think it is irony)-- Clinton lied to get out of a mess, while Bush lied to get into one. It all depends on what you mean by "is" or "accomplished."

Linda Aikins 8 years, 2 months ago

Tear out the stitches and start over. Socks are durable.

samsnewplace 8 years, 2 months ago

Sometimes you can't make amends, you've opened your mouth too big and stuck your entire foot in it....or opened it too many times to take things back. I've just learned to be quiet alot more and speak very little, and if I have opinions then I keep them to myself. It's lonely when you mess up too many times.

Ceallach 8 years, 2 months ago

AA is right, if you read carefully, Adam was the one that was told not to eat the apple. However, by the time it got to Eve it had become, you can't even touch it! She was totally the victim of Adam rewording the instruction.

sgtwolverine 8 years, 2 months ago

When I make a mistake, I just yell "Cut!" and start the scene over.

jonas 8 years, 2 months ago

Posted by jonas (anonymous) on September 28, 2006 at 2 a.m.

(This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of use policy.)

jonas 8 years, 2 months ago

Samsnewplace: I agree, but my tourettes gets me in trouble sometimes anyway.

Ceallach 8 years, 2 months ago

The book don't say nuthin bout her being told! So there!

Either way we do get an idea of what Adam and Eve did when they made a mistake . . . Eve blamed it all on the snake . . . Adam blamed it all on God :- . . . "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate."

So, RI, it seems you have adopted the biblical method of dealing with mistakes . . ."The first thing to do is to find an appropriate patsy... Second distance yourself from the situation."

DanFreako 8 years, 2 months ago

I just try to go back and correct whatever it is I've made a mistake on and hope that no one else notices."

  • Rob Falkenstein, butcher, Sturgis, Mich.

Don't by any meat from this guy ...yikes!!

sunflower_sue 8 years, 2 months ago

RI, whatever...Little bunny foo foo. You just keep boppin us poor field mice all you want. You'll be hare today, goon tomorrow!

estespark 8 years, 2 months ago

I own up to my error and involve the affected parties in developing a solution.

That being said, I'm generally considered to be incompetent and difficult to work with.

Maybe I'll do what Rob does...

"I just try to go back and correct whatever it is I've made a mistake on and hope that no one else notices."

  • Rob Falkenstein, butcher, Sturgis, Mich.

Ceallach 8 years, 2 months ago

I can see why you would like that quote. Just remember, should he ceases to be entertaining, she could logically change her mind.

Grundoon Luna 8 years, 2 months ago

For the most part I just can't stand Don Henley. I think he tried to rib off every new sound that came about in the early 80's. Case in point, Bruce Hornseby. But he did make probably my favorite song, which is incredbly meaningful and iust happens to be right in line with the topic: The Heart of the Matter. It's mesage is a great one and applies to more than just the love lorn, so listen up y'all . . .

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter But everything changes and my thoughts seem to scatter But I think its about forgiveness, forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

Sunny Sue, that was fantastic!!! A great thought to keep as I head off to the RenFest. Huzzah!!!

Sakuraba 8 years, 2 months ago

Sue, that was a clever post. I thought my grade school was the only one that made kids sing that song. Did you go to Quail Run or what?

Grundoon Luna 8 years, 2 months ago

Oooh, Ceallie double snap with a twist Reminds me of a fabulous drawing an old friend of mine drew of a voluptous warrior woman that had a human heart dripping blood on the end of her sword. The caption he wrote was, "If he didn't want me to have it, he shouldn't have offered it to me." Based on his last post, sounds like Marion's likes the fiesty ones and that wold be his kind of woman.

sunflower_sue 8 years, 2 months ago

Sakuraba, no Quail run...daughter of a girl scout leader.

A_A, What a great drawing! The saying reminds me of a mag ad I saw years ago...there was a very lovely woman in some nice lingerie. Underneath, it said: "While we don't necessarily dress to please men, it doesn't hurt, on occassion, to see one drool like the pathetic dog that he is." Still makes me laugh out loud. What a great ad!

Lucille 8 years, 2 months ago

Wow...lots of great stuff, but I just did something really stupid that hurt someone I love and myself in the process. I sure wish someone would post something that would tell me how to turn back the clock!!

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