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Which fictional character needs life insurance the most?

Asked at Massachusetts Street on October 4, 2005

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Photo of Audrey Singer

“Al Bundy (‘Married with Children’). He’s been dealt a bad hand in life, and he has his family to think about.”

Photo of Ben Faunce

“Wile E. Coyote. He’s the most accident-prone character. I’ve seen him fall off a lot of cliffs.”

Photo of A.J. Faunce

“The whole crew of ‘Sea Lab 2021.’ Most of the episodes end with the destruction of the entire lab.”

Photo of Kristen Nazar

“Peter Griffin (‘Family Guy’). He’s accident-prone and a family man. He’s quite a bumbler.”

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l_eustacy 12 years, 1 month ago

If Kenny lived in Lawrence, no doubt he would meet his demise at the roundabouts, once as a pedestrian and once in a car hit by another confused motorist.

He might also be killed at one of the speed bumps.

Stay away from Lawrence Kenny, it's too dangerous here!

Hong_Kong_Phooey 12 years, 1 month ago

Duke Nukem from the video game, and soon to be released movie, "DOOM"....

GreenEyedBlues 12 years, 1 month ago

That's a really good call, Eustacy! His family is so poor anyway... Filing 15 life insurance claims per season isn't bad!

lunacydetector 12 years, 1 month ago

they're going to ban cell phone use while driving. they're going to track people illegally using their cell phones by looking at differences in signals between cell towers. it will tie into the 911 phone system upgrade that tracks cell phones.

fines will be issued by mail. you will have to prove you were not driving while using the cell phone before pleading innocent or you can just pay the $50 fine. solitary drivers will be pulled over if they are seen moving their mouths while driving. no singing, no talking to your dog, no talking to yourself for that matter will be seen as a probable cause for being pulled over. search and seizure laws will apply. the police will be receiving special signal attraction equipment to see if anyone is using their cell phones while driving in conjunction with the cross tower referencing system.

all a work of fiction, i promise.

lunacydetector 12 years, 1 month ago

i need names for the fictional characters who impliment this cell phone ban......

neopolss 12 years, 1 month ago


Excellant floodboy .... "Excellant..."

"Yes, Mr. Burns?"

"Release the hounds!"

bankboy119 12 years, 1 month ago

Yeah I'd have to agree with eustacy, Kenny needs life insurance the most. He'd be rich if he hadit.

bankboy119 12 years, 1 month ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

trinity 12 years, 1 month ago

i'd have to say humpty dumpty. but who'd get the $? all the king's horses, all the king's'd be tied up in litigation for eons.

nlf78 12 years, 1 month ago

I'm all for Peter Griffin on Family Guy. Or maybe I should say Lois? Especially if Stewie ever succeeds ;)

staff04 12 years, 1 month ago

Jeez, what does it take to get censored around here? Bankboy, your becoming quite a regular at getting bounced from the board.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 1 month ago

I'd say Snow White. The dwarfs could collect after her "presumed death". Once the handsome prince comes along with those puckered lips of his, they could split the money and all live happily ever after.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 1 month ago

Did anyone happen to know that today is "Ask a stupid question day?"

I think the powers at LJW know!

sunflower_sue 12 years, 1 month ago

OMB, since it's "ASSQD", I have to know...what is a trap-door buffalo? Are they found in the plains states? Did they avoid the slaughter because they hide? Does Steve Erwin have a show about them? Has anyone ever been able to photograph one in the wild? What do they eat. I assume they're omnivores. Is this correct?

sunflower_sue 12 years, 1 month ago

sorry, thats "AASQD!" Boy, do I feel foolish!

staff04 12 years, 1 month ago

If anyone feels like having their productivity completely destroyed today, this is a good way to do it:

bankboy119 12 years, 1 month ago

My comment was not that bad. That was ridiculous. Do you hear me LJW??? RIDICULOUS. It's not my fault they're out interviewing idiots.

bankboy119 12 years, 1 month ago

I didn't call anyone specifically an idiot. I just find it amazing that every day some one unemployed or code word for unemployed is interviewed. If they really want to get a sampling of Lawrence either there's 25% unemployment or they don't want to pay for an employees gas to go out to a different part of town where there isn't 25% unemployment. And yes I'm sure that previous post is going to get removed again oh well. It really just amazes me at the responses of the general that a better way to put it? PC?

rhd99 12 years, 1 month ago

I have a fictional character: BAN MAN! Up in the sky, it's a bird, no it's a plane, NO, it's BOOG BAN MAN! He'll need life insurance the most because of all threatening phone calls he GETS. Sweet dreams, BOOG you COMMUNIST. An actual fictional character who needs life insurance the most is Homer Simpson. He always runs into things, & his job, well, a disaster. Need I say more?

Lib_ee12 12 years, 1 month ago

My productivity went down hill when I decided to read the paper today. My best score so far: 11 and I'm still perfecting the toss.

Oh yea, insurance sucks

rhd99 12 years, 1 month ago

By the way, off the subject, the madness behind the cell phone BAN reminds me of something, if we're not careful, BOOG could also ban alcoholic beverages. That'll bring us up to modern times. NOT!

l_eustacy 12 years, 1 month ago

being unemployed, being on a posting board, monitoring a posting board, playing computer games, driving around a roundabout, they're all about equal in productivity. If you want to raise your productivity you need to multi-task, such as using your cell phone while driving

BTW, nine is my best score so far

staff04 12 years, 1 month ago

And I've succeeded...

My best ever was 23. That took the better part of an hour of practice...

Lib_ee12 12 years, 1 month ago

23! I'm so impressed! I've been playing for more than an hour and haven't gotten anywhere near that.

Ceallach 12 years, 1 month ago

Would that make him the Boogy Man?

Fictional character needing life insurance -- Any woman who either falls in love with or marries a Cartwright! Ah, Bonanza, an oldie but a goodie! Each lovely lass the boys (or the old man) tried to woo -- you knew they were not long for this world.

Linda Aikins 12 years, 1 month ago

He only lives in the northwest part of town--

Basement Man!!

Ceallach 12 years, 1 month ago

bankboy119: It is a game link from sunflower_sue's 8:45 post.

jonas 12 years, 1 month ago

Bankboy, link a little farther up the board.

Sigh, I posted this game a week ago and no one noticed. I feel so unloved. Oh well, I think that topic got up to 150 posts or so.

Top score so far, 12. Been awhile since I played it though.

Fictional character. . . probably, I don't know, Papa Smurf? Whole lotta dependents and an archnemesis (even a really stupid one). . . probably a good idea.

bankboy119 12 years, 1 month ago

Okay I'm dumb but all I'm getting is a link to the stupid question day....not seeing any game.

Ceallach 12 years, 1 month ago

I consider 12 awesome, jonas. My high is 4 :(

In my defense, I do get interrupted by rude people who expect me to answer questions, advise students, provide resource information to "helicopter parents," etc., and other nonsense related to my job description!

bearded_gnome 12 years, 1 month ago

Horatio hornblower...from the C.S. forester series and various movies. needed insurance!

Lunasydetector, sad to say, all the tech necessary for your scenario already exists! big brother is watching you on your cell phone driving! if the city is really serious about a cell phone ban, I say put in cell phone jammer devices at the entrances of lawrence on major highways...just what we need!

that buffalo species is an omnivore, means it eats omnis, made by dodge?

have a happy day!

bankboy119 12 years, 1 month ago

23....and I've posted the last 3 comments. No really, I'm busy.

joshs_mom 12 years, 1 month ago

Jonas: love the game! It's addictive. I got up to 24 on Friday...but I played off and on last week after you posted the link.

Ceallach 12 years, 1 month ago

If they think the guy with the guns and beer was dangerously devoted to protecting his property -- wait till they try to take the remote control from a man who has his remote in one hand and his beer in the other!!! Now there is an animal you don't want to mess with :)

bankboy119 12 years, 1 month ago

  1. That's enough of that game....I'm busy lol

rhd99 12 years, 1 month ago

Kim Jong Boog does not have the guts to pay for the enforcement of all those UNFUNDED BANS, including the fireworks ban, smoking ban, & this latest cell phone ban. What a JOKE! We need a Life Insurance super hero who will dole out the cash to all who wish to leave Lawrence because of prehistoric North Korean dictatorships that DO NOT reflect American values.

rhd99 12 years, 1 month ago

By the way, by American values, I mean the freedoms to make our own choices. I do not condone making people sick because of smoking in bars, but COME ON, we DON'T need BIG Brother breathing down our necks!

staff04 12 years, 1 month ago

Jonas- I didn't realize I was being unoriginal. Sorry to steal your thunder. I only meant to ruin everyone's productivity, and while I've been off working for the last few hours, I see it has been a rousing success.

bankboy- I just added you to the office scoreboard.

staff04 12 years, 1 month ago

Oh, and here's one for the golfers:

There's a printed score of 21 in my office (not me, didn't have the patience).

Linda Aikins 12 years, 1 month ago

I'm a man But I can change If I have to I guess

Confrontation 12 years, 1 month ago

Broadband Man-His commercials are so horrible that his life is in danger.

GreenEyedBlues 12 years, 1 month ago

How about those HORRIBLE commercials for that seedy furniture place with that goofy dude?

Ban local commercials.

bankboy119 12 years, 1 month ago

jonas, just got 34 and then somehow I threw it completely off screen....don't know how that happened b/c I hadn't done that before, oh well.

canyon_wren 12 years, 1 month ago

Anna Pigeon in the Nevada Barr novels. No one should be able to survive the things she has gone through.

That game is TOO cool--I've been wasting way too much time.

canyon_wren 12 years, 1 month ago

But is it just my imagination--or does the fan on the right blow it the wrong direction sometimes?

BOE 12 years, 1 month ago

Bonanza brides. lol. I don't know that they needed life insurance if dependants are a qualifier...

but it reminds me of an old Carson show

After Johnny made a little inuendo about the Cartwright bros, Michaek Landon said that many people thought we were homosexual. We weren't, but thank God that Hop Sing was. :)

Topside 12 years, 1 month ago

Topside makes a cameo today. 4 is my best. If it wasn't for rimming in I never would have gotten in at all.

Carmenilla 12 years, 1 month ago

Hehe hehe, he said "rimming in"....uh sorry where was I?

YDP are hilarious today. See, stupid questions bring out the best in y'all.

The person who needs the most insurance is Catwoman...nine lives and all.

neopolss 12 years, 1 month ago


Banman has just banned Broadband Man!

Who's going to save us from Dial-up Guy now?

Banman is off to pursue bar smokers after hours...

jonas 12 years, 1 month ago

staff04: it's no problem, mayn. And I wasn't angry, just whining.

I've got one or two games that I'll probably run in tomorrow. Fun stuff!

Ceallach 12 years, 1 month ago

Have all y'all seen this?

NEW ORLEANS - As the search for Hurricane Katrina (search) victims came to an end in Louisiana Tuesday, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin (search) announced that the government would be forced to lay off about 3,000 "non-essential" city employees.

Mayor Ray Nagin needs good insurance!

sunflower_sue 12 years, 1 month ago

4! I really stink! But, thanks, staff 04, after the day I had, I really needed that!!!!!!

neopolss 12 years, 1 month ago

I loved how they mentioned that sections of New Orleans that might be bulldozed could be made into parks or country clubs. And I was worried that the Black population was being discriminated against. Don't worry - you'll get to come back NEXT week.

Linda Aikins 12 years, 1 month ago

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