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Have you ever come across a Kansas basher?

Asked at Massachusetts Street on November 11, 2005

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Photo of Catherine Owens

“No. Everyone always talks about Dorothy and Toto, but I’ve never really heard anything bad.”

Photo of Darin Stroud

“Yeah. It’s always from people who have never set foot in Kansas. They make comments about ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ and me not being in Kansas anymore. They think it’s all flat land and that nothing ever happens here.”

Photo of Sven Alstrom

“When people make fun of Kansas, I ask them if they’ve ever been to Lawrence. If they say no, I tell them that Lawrence is the Paris of Kansas.”

Photo of Lori Jo Moore

“Yes, I have. These kids I met in North Dakota kept asking us about our dog Toto and calling us hicks.”

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thunderbuns 12 years, 3 months ago

UHH ..... JClarkson:

It's way past your bed time my little chum! It's comedy my little fella!!!!!!!


Aileen Dingus 12 years, 3 months ago

Since I announced my intention to move here, and since the move itself, I've heard it ALL about Kansas. (In a bad way)

I've given up trying to defend it- I say "Yes, OMG we had 8 tornadoes last night, and in between them, a herd of roaming buffaloes and their mosquito harpies terrorized the neighborhoods. There was no place to hide, what with the tornado damage to our houses and the absolute flatness of the terrain. It's awful here. You'd hate it. Just stay away. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS DOROTHY STAY AWAY!"


neopolss 12 years, 3 months ago

I've never been bothered by the Oz comments. For one thing, the Wizard of Oz is still one of the major classic movies, and brilliant in so many ways. The fact that it was in COLOR being released in 1939 is amazing. Even Casablanca (1942) was black and white. Nope, I'm not ashamed at all to associate with such a great film.

BTW, you can catch Wizard of Oz all weekend on TBS this week only.

sweatpeagj 12 years, 3 months ago

when I first moved to Kansas I was bashed just from being from NY. We all can bash people from other places..Holy Joseph..everyone thinks their state and town is the best. I have lived all over this great country and you know what?? People bash wherever you go and wherever you are from.

sweatpeagj 12 years, 3 months ago

Did anyone hear about Andrea Yates getting a new trial? She was the mother that had drowned all five of her children in a bathtub? The lower courts overturned her conviction and are planning on retrying her for the crime. This time they are going to try and make a deal with the prosecutors. I guess if you say that you are suffering a menatal disorder and hearing voices ( and can carry the charade) you won't be held responsible for murdering innocent babaies.

kcwarpony 12 years, 3 months ago

I think Darin and I must know the same people out in Los Angeles! He went right down the list of things I hear every time. But then again they're the ones standing around bundled up in heavy coats in 65 degree weather. At least I know what weather is and how to handle it!

juscin3 12 years, 3 months ago

Well, I've heard it too. From two different peeps on the East Coast. One said I sounded like a hillbilly. He's from Jersey. And the other one is from Maine and OMGOSH! He didn't even know what a carport was!!!! He would say I paked my ca in the yaad. As to I parked my car in the yard. And they say we talk funny????? I have relatives in CO and they said I have an accent. What person from another state doesn't??? Or country for that matter. I think its actually pretty cool with all the different accents from all over. The only thing I get irritated about is when someone speaks a different language and they have a hard time speaking English. Speakin of, my ex-boss didn't know what gas meant...had to tell her it deffinately wasn't fuel! LOL

lunacydetector 12 years, 3 months ago

i've met people from new york who seriously asked if people still ride horses as transportation.

dorothy and toto, hmmm....the wizard of oz is the worst thing that ever happened to kansas.

GreenEyedBlues 12 years, 3 months ago

Kansas bashers can kiss my grits y'all. I think it's funny when I visit friends up north that they consider KS to be part of the "south". I'd say we're in the center of it all, because we're a happenin' state. LOL

Jclarkson 12 years, 3 months ago

Kansas Bashers? Holy ask this like its the most rare thing in the world that people bash Kansas. Just go to the state of Missouri for Christ's sake...they ALWAYS bash Kansas!

BrianR 12 years, 3 months ago

No but hopefully we'll get "cursed" by Pat Robertson after the next election.

thunderbuns 12 years, 3 months ago

LJW Article: "Evolution debate may tarnish state's image".

Hey, all press is good press! It'll put Kansas on the map! When it does, I wish you home grown Kansans would learn how to say the word "cash" correctly. Being from California, it's always weird when I hear a Kansan say that word. They say it like the "a" is a hard "a", or something like that. Weird. And they can't say "pressure" or "measure" correctly either. You'll notice they never have anyone from Kansas do the national TV news. It's cuz they can't talk right! "Treasure" Island, "pleasure"! Wha....!!!!

So, once Kansas is on the map, start talkin' normal will ya!!! This means you Jane!!!!!!!!! (ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz....)

(Whoa! I sound like a Kansas basher!!)

Jclarkson 12 years, 3 months ago

uhhh....thunderbuns....that may have been the dumbest post I have ever read....ever.

I bet when you see someone who isn't white, you cling closely to your belongings right?

beatrice 12 years, 3 months ago

The mighty Kansas basher. They are a fierce, wooly animal that tends to avoid people -- long teeth, can run much faster than their squatty bodies would suggest. Scary and mean, I tell ya. Eight of them together have been rumored to take down a buffalo. Kind of like a mix between a badger, a mongoose, and a gila monster, only bigger than all three. But they taste like chicken, so I'm pro basher.

badger 12 years, 3 months ago

" Kind of like a mix between a badger, a mongoose, and a gila monster, only bigger than all three. But they taste like chicken, so I'm pro basher."

I had nothing to do with the existence of Kansas bashers...I never even met a mongoose or a gila monster, or even a crazy mad scientist who tried to steal my DNA to make one.

Just so we're clear, beatrice, and you don't try to fit me for your stew pot.

I am living out of state. When I tell people I'm from Kansas, they used to make Dorothy jokes, but yesterday one of my coworkers asked me to put together some data for him, then stopped and said, "Unless you'd prefer that we just say God made the parts and any errors are there to allow the parts the free will to fail? They are intelligently designed, after all."

I kind of wish they'd go back to Dorothy jokes. Then I could baffle them with Populist theory and vague symbolism.

sweatpeagj 12 years, 3 months ago

badger..I can see where it would be easier to be asked about Dorothy and Toto rather than the controversy we will be subjected to now from others. I have done my own "study" down here about this and they all just would like to see how far this actually goes before even thinking about trying it here.

canyon_wren 12 years, 3 months ago

Unfortunately, most folks judge Kansas by what they see along I-70. And while, as a native returning home, ALL of Kansas looks good to me, I personally think it really doesn't start looking pretty till you get to around Abilene (going east). A local photographer here in SE Utah, Steve Mulligan, puts out the "Wild and Scenic Kansas" calendar each year and his photos are spectacular. (He also does one for Utah, Nebraska and ??)

Having lived in Columbia twice, I've heard plenty of Kansas-bashing from Missourians and think they're full of baloney! Missouri is pretty in a "closed-in" sort of way, but I'll take Kansas any day.

As far as people go, I think Kansans are very independent--even their sometimes conservative choices represent personal and thoughtful decisions, though those on the Coasts think otherwise. Just my own opinion, of course--but I've lived a lot of other places that served to make me feel that way.

canyon_wren 12 years, 3 months ago

I agree, too, that folks who have never visited KU have no idea what a beautiful campus we have--though for me it has lost some of the beauty it had in the late 50s/early60s since it has spread out to such an extent. But that's "progress," I know!

sweatpeagj 12 years, 3 months ago

I thought of the one_more_bob. Like I said before people get bashed regardless of where they are from. I know that I heard because I grew up in NY that we were all rude and obnoxious. Since then, most people upon getting to know me, realize that I am not either of those. I can be brutally honest if asked but do not generally like to be rude. Of course, they like to get me worked up because then they can laugh at the fact that that is the only time the NY accent and attitude does come out.

jonas 12 years, 3 months ago

If people ask about Toto, just tell them that you ate him, and that his meat was really tough and stringy. That usually shuts them up.

Or even better, when they say one of those jokes, start laughing hysterically, like it's the funniest thing that you've ever heard.

"Dorothy?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Man, never heard that one before!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Of course, in regard to the new jokes regarding ID, I think I'll probably just respond with "You're right! We DO have problems, don't we?"

neopolss 12 years, 3 months ago

Just tell people that the flying monkey population in Kansas has become so out of control that towns are literally being covered in feces.

Enjoy the odd stare you get and the inability to form a good response.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

e_m, That link was so funny I almost wet myself...almost! Next time, post a bladder warning!

Neopolss, I love the flying monkey line. I'm definitely going to use it!

As for KS bashers...I used to be one...before I moved here and was dating my future hubby (a KS native). Believe me, it's all in good fun. My brother is the biggest KS basher I know (but he still lives in the state of Missery, er, I mean Missouri or Mizoora). Just all fun! Does anyone really take it seriously?

badger 12 years, 3 months ago

I saw a T-shirt once that said, "Yes, I'm from Kansas. Make a 'Wizard of Oz' joke and I'll shove one of my flying monkeys up your yellow brick road."

I laughed very hard. I own a shirt that says (in smoke writing) "Don't make me release the flying monkeys."

I think there's just something satisfying about the phrase 'flying monkeys.' Neopolss, I am taking your suggestion about lamenting the flying monkey problem. In fact, when asked about it, I may start asking people if they will contribute to the Kansas Flying Monkey Conservation Management Program, a charitable organization which works to regulate the flying monkey population and keep it within healthy levels, and also to invest in giant pavilions to cover Kansas towns and allow the citizenry to conduct their business without having to carry umbrellas and wear hip waders.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

e_m, my comment was about your 5:19 link. (Hysterical!)

You need to just settle down and give us slow readers time to catch up. How dare you type and click faster than me. Show off! monkey breeder! Ha Ha. I just called someone a name and it felt good! (Let's see if I get removed):)

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

Q: Why do all the birds in the Pacific NW fly upside down? A: 'Cuz ther ain't nuttin worth sh!#ing on!

italianprincess 12 years, 3 months ago

After moving here in 97 I for one am glad we stayed. The move for my little family has been a good one. My mom plans on moving back to Cali in June of next year now that my grandma has passed. My uncle moved back last year and my aunt is there also. They want their sister home now so they can all spend time together.

I have decided to stay here after emailing family members. I put down pros and cons about moving back and staying here and the pros have won. My dad, brother and sister think staying here is better then moving back to a over crowded state. Prices are so high there for renting or buying you either have to be well off or have a really high paying job. As soon as my dad's mom passes my dad plans of moving out of Cali anyway. They all say I have done well here and my boys are better off here then there.

My oldest graduates from Free State in May of this next year and has already sent in his application to attend KU. If accepted he will attend classes there and keep his job at the bank where he is working now as a senior in high school.

My youngest enjoys his new school and wants to stay here also. He has his friends here now and has been raised here since we moved so Lawrence is what he knows. Hes looking forward to following in his brother's footsteps and playing baseball next year.

For me I think of " The Wizard of OZ " when I think of Kansas. Coming from Cali ( born and raised ) and seeing the movie all to many times ( I even own it ) thats what you remember. It takes place in Kansas so you get the picture. I like living here also. I have my own business and we are doing better here then we were doing in Cali. Who knows if I ( even after my youngest graduates from high school ) will ever go back home.

Oh, and I have never met a Kansas basher.......yet.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

IP, you've met me. I'm a former KS basher. Does that count?

jonas 12 years, 3 months ago

O-Bob: Sounds like that new Weatherman movie with Nicholas Cage. "People have stopped throwing things at me, maybe because I'm carrying a compound bow."

Lib_ee12 12 years, 3 months ago

You guys are especially hilarious today. I've forwarded both of E_M's posts already to massive amounts of people. (yes, I'm one of those) I rarely post, but always read. Thanks guys for making a great friday morning!

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

I'm still trying to figure out Lori Jo Moore's comment- people from NORTH DAKOTA were actually making fun of you for being from KANSAS? Well, I've heard it all, now! I grew up in Arizona, but have lived in several different states around the country. People always think that wherever they are from is superior. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me are the ones that move to some new state and then complain about it, talking about how great it is back home. If it's so great back home (att: S_D), then please go back!

I like living here in Kansas.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

Today is going to be fun. That last comment from S_D sucked so much I hit my head on the monitor!

beatrice 12 years, 3 months ago

Or, when the Wiz of Oz joke is said, just stop and look at the person like you literally have no idea what they are talking about, like you have never heard of anyone named Dorothy, or that the only Toto you have heard of is the bad '80s band. He or she will start to explain -- keep with the deadpan expression, run with it as long as possible. He explains more, ... then the light bulb flickers over his head and he realizes that he is now the butt of the joke and is lacking in originality. I have found that approach useful.

Also, it is best to have a sense of humor when it comes to this sort of thing. While I am sure that the comedian Bill Maher has likely never been to Kansas for any length of time, his routine on relocating New Orleans to Kansas, for instance, was very funny.

badger, no slight intended in your direction. I'm sure I would love to have you over for dinner some evening. Don't worry, I'll provide the potatoes and carrots, you wascally badger. ; )

Confrontation 12 years, 3 months ago

I don't think "The Wizard of Oz" is such a bad reference. It could be worse. We could be living in Florida, where they're known for reptiles, pedophiles, and hurricanes. What a horrible combination!

neopolss 12 years, 3 months ago

Flying Monkey hunting season is almost upon us, and not a moment too soon. Just yesterday they tried to fly off with one of my kids again. I had to get the garden hose out (as sometimes witches aren't too far behind).

With critters like Trap-door Buffalos, Prairie Squids, and Flying Monkeys, hos could anyone find Kansas boring?

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

That's hilarious, Beatrice! I'm going to give that a try next time I hear the Wizard of Oz routine. You guys are really funny today! Thanks for the laugh.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

Honey Roasted Flying Monkey:

1 oven ready young flying monkey 2 T clear honey 2-3 oranges 1 bunch watercress 3-4 T oil and vinegar dressing

Preheat oven to 425 Wipe down monkey and reserve liver for FM pate. Prick skin all over and rub with salt. (the Monkey, not you) Place on roasting rack and baste with honey. Cook 'til meat thermometer inserted in thigh registers 190. Arrange on large platter with watercress and orange segments. Sprinkle dressing over the top and serve with roasted root vegetables. YUM!

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

I predict Flying Monkey Flu this season. (say Flying Monkey Flu 3 times really fast) It wards off evil monkey spirits.

Anyone know of any other good flying monkey charms?

glockenspiel 12 years, 3 months ago

Saw bumper sticker yesterday...

Said "Kansas, As Bigotted As You think."

sweatpeagj 12 years, 3 months ago

I must live in the wrong part of Florida. I understand the reptiles and hurricanes but why the pedophiles?? Last time I looked at missing/exploited children and such crimes against children it wasn't stated Beware of Floridians..thanks for the ignorance in commenting Confrontation. You keep my hopes raised that evolution isn't always successful.

BunE 12 years, 3 months ago

To those of you who can't appreciate kansas, read some william least heat moon, (PrairyErth) check out the land north of manhattan, head downtown, Drive to SW Kansas and see some freakin sky. Then tell everyone on the coasts to @#$% themselves.

The are a lot of dirtlips in Kansas but most of them are pretty OK one on one. Don't like some of the politics but then again we have a government not domintated by one party only. Now our children are going to start losing ground come 2007, but that won't last.

As far as the peeps who talk duke on us. Let 'em I have all of their addresses and am personally using all of my vacation time (between teaching at my underground science madrasses) to go to each of their houses and give them a stern talking to. Silence Dogood, I need your address.

If you want out of Kansas bad enough, I have found this option.

badger 12 years, 3 months ago

You know, since I left Kansas, I haven't been able to get any Flying Monkey. None of the stores down here have it.

I got all ready to fire up the crock-pot a couple weeks ago to celebrate Hallowe'en with the traditional Flying Monkey and Your Little Dog Too Stew, and imagine my chagrin to find that there's not one winged primate to be found within several hundred miles of here!

I've got a great recipe:

1 Flying Monkey, cut into parts 15 new potatoes, quartered 1 12-oz bag baby carrots 1 large turnip, cut into 1-inch cubes 8 oz sliced mushrooms 4 cloves garlic, minced 2 large onions, chopped 2 pints John Brown Ale Winter savory, rosemary, thyme, salt, and pepper to taste 1 loaf Wheatfield's Italian Round, thick-sliced 4 oz Little Dog pate

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Lay the flying monkey parts flat in a shallow pan and roast them for five minutes a side to brown them a little. Meanwhile, brown the onions in 1 T extra virgin olive oil. Put the turnip, potatoes, garlic, onion, carrots, flying monkey, winter savory, and garlic into the crock pot and set it to low. Add one pint of John Brown Ale and four to six cups cold water. Drink the other pint while cooking. After 2 hours, remove the flying monkey from the stew and cut the meat off the bones into 1-inch cubes. Return the meat to the stew and add the rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper, and water as necessary. You can also add a couple of bay leaves, but the inclusion of bay is, as we all know, a little controversial.

Cook for 5-7 more hours. Ten minutes before serving the stew, spread four slices of bread with Little Dog pate and toast under a medium broiler for 2-3 minutes. Garnish stew bowls with the bread and pate.

Of course, the best accompaniment to this is a large glass of water.

What a meal, what a meal...

beatrice 12 years, 3 months ago

SD: No mullets? Are you kidding me. With all the lesbians in Oregon (not that there is anything wrong with that) I can assure you the mullet per capita numbers are high.

and this gem: "We realize that mini-trucks, lowered Honda civics, and booming bass stereos are so '91." Yes, because since '91 the price of real estate has been so stupidly high there that people now must live in their Honda Civics.

Finally, what is worse -- the people who talk about their own roundabouts, or those who come from the outside to talk about our roundabouts. Seriously, it doesn't take Freud or Felini to figure out that you clearly suffer from "prairie envy."

jonas 12 years, 3 months ago

Sorry, SD, but I've got two reasons the northwest is not so great a place (though I won't say it's inferior to KS), that totally offset all of those reasons that you've put forward.

  1. My psycho ex-girlfriend.

  2. You.

(All in good fun, of course.)

jonas 12 years, 3 months ago

S-Sue, Badger: A simple recipe:

cut slivers off side of shoulder where meat is thick.

serve fresh on sushi rice.

It's the way the Japanese eat flying monkey.

Of course, where I come from we're taught that no part of the flying monkey can go to waste. The hands are generally made into stylish ashtrays or key-holders. The wings, attached to a long stick, make good outdoor brooms. Stew out of most of the extra internal organs, skin into clothes and blankets. Flying-monkey meat, when salted, lasts a long time, while retaining it's succulent flavor. And those little coats and hats make good hand me downs to young nieces and nephews.

I'll bet north-westerners like S_D just kill the monkeys for their good-luck tails and let the rest go to waste.

memoirs_of_a_sleepwalker 12 years, 3 months ago

kpippen, Wow, you're doing wonders for representing your state. Maybe S-D's run into too many Kansans such as you! I think I might have to agree with him / her on the whole tolerance thing.

Prospector: Hee hee! Good one.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

c'mon guys, it was fun to tease S_D but I think some of us are taking it all too seriously. (remember the "all in fun" comment?)

on that note: Silence dogood, please do good and don't be silent!

p.s. What's wrong with mullets? Very classy 'do. Also, didn't Mt. St. Helen's try to get out at one point?:)

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

Maybe we should take up a collection for S_D so he can return to his pristine rivers and good coffee! The land where salmon (not pink dyed filets) are plentiful and mullets are unseen! Where all the hipsters are on cutting edge and not driving (gasp) lowered Civics.
And as for your tolerance- people like you are only tolerant of things they agree with. Oh, yeah, this was all in good fun, too. Have a nice day, and drive through an extra round about for me.

BunE 12 years, 3 months ago


I think that you are the punk, hiding behind your overcoat and keyboard. Why are you so mad?

I would give almost anything to hook a salmon on my flyrod. I mean I love to catch bass on it but C'mon!

Goonies: Drew Barrymore AND Corey Feldman.

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

BunE Drew Barrymore wasn't in Goonies, was she?

memoirs_of_a_sleepwalker 12 years, 3 months ago

Perhaps kpippen sports a mullet and drives a lowered Honda Civic, and hence the reason for his hostility!

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

Okay, that's right. Sean Astin was, but so was Corey Feldman. He was the little smart @ss kid. I loved that movie. I loved that little Asian kid with all his gadgets! I'm going to have to watch it tonight.

beatrice 12 years, 3 months ago

Another approach to the question: Yes, I have run across a Kansas basher. When I saw they were still breathing, I had to put it in reverse.

ms_canada 12 years, 3 months ago

Thank goodness there are no Flying Monkey Squads this far north. They might scare off our pair of majestic eagles that nest on the river bank across the street from my house. It is such a thrill to watch them soar and circle over the river. I thought there was only one but this morning there were two. I think there must have been a recent wedding in eagle land. Also a magnificent pheasant walked through my yard last week. And we frequently hear a coyote yipping down the bank. And this is in the heart of the city. Wellllll, I guess it could be called the edge of the city.

thunderbuns 12 years, 3 months ago

You guys are sure pickin' on poor kpippen! He should win a prize or something! Perhaps some "cash". He'd sure "treasure" it. What a "pleasure" it'd be for him to get it!

(I'd just love to hear a home-grown Kansan say the above sentences!)

badger 12 years, 3 months ago


How did that low-riding Honda of yours handle that speed bump? I never notice when I hit the bashers, because the thumping blends in with my bass.

I simply challenge, by the way, Point (I think it was) 9, 'Good coffee.' The Pacific Northwest gave us Starbucks, which is some of the nastiest, vilest, most horrific swill ever to befoul a mug. An experiment: Buy a (large) cup of La Prima Tazza coffee. Take a sip. Walk across the street and get a (small) cup of Starbucks for 8.50 or whatever insanity they're charging now. Take a sip of that. Record how much of the Prima Tazza coffee it takes to get the taste of the Starbucks' out of your mouth. You may need a second cup. I recomment you get a scone with it.

tunarubber 12 years, 3 months ago

Yes, constantly. And most of it is from me. I can't wait to get the hell out of Kansas.

thunderbuns 12 years, 3 months ago


"organs of generation" ???? What the........?


Hugh Jorgan

beatrice 12 years, 3 months ago

basher, even worse than the taste of a Corporatebucks cup of coffee is standing behind someone ordering a "half-caf half-decaf latte with skim milk and hazelnut sprinkle, not too frothy, regular size, but in a large size container" or some such ridiculous thing. Please, get out of my way because I want a cup of coffee -- no sugar, no cream. Hand me the cup, and I can get it myself. Not that I drink that much coffee, but when I do I always prefer the locally owned hippy/mod/queer/punk joint. Not that it isn't just as pretentious, but it is a different type of pretentiousness that I can deal with.

And one more thing for our pro-Northwest guest -- if Seattle is so great, why is the suicide rate so high?

neopolss 12 years, 3 months ago

Posted by tunarubber (anonymous) on November 11, 2005 at 1:49 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Yes, constantly. And most of it is from me. I can't wait to get the hell out of Kansas.


That's funny, considering that Kansas has one of the most unique attractions, its very own gate to Hell. How many other states have their own dark portals to the abyss of eternal damnation? One doesn't easily remove hell from THIS state.

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

We have our own gate to hell here? Where's it at? Is there a round about leading into it? My dad picks on me for moving to Kansas. He won't visit me out here, because he thinks that "the redneck farmers" will lynch him for having long hippie hair. I tell him that he'd actually fit right in Lawrence. Yeah, I agree that Starbuck's sucks, but I'm not much of a coffee drinker, anyway.

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

Oh, Stull. And the Pope wouldn't fly over it, right? Too weird. I bet the people in Stull get pi$$ed off at all the drunk college kids that go stumbling up there every weekend night. Well, you all have a great weekend... even you, S_D :)

tunarubber 12 years, 3 months ago

I lived in the Pacific Northwest and hope to move back there when my husband and I are both finished with grad school (less than 2 years), so I'm with you, SD. It's really hilarious to listen to people from Kansas badmouthing a place that is probably the most beautiful place in America.

Yes, Lawrence is cool, but only by comparison of the rest of this sh---y state.

beatrice 12 years, 3 months ago

I can't believe you boys are talking about your "swords" again. Put a sheath on it, already.

italianprincess 12 years, 3 months ago

It wasn't Drew in the was the girl that played in Back to the Future. I can't remember her name right now, but I'm sure that someone in here will. Martha Plimpton played the other girl and she was in Parenthood with Steve Martin.

Oh......I remember now......her name is Lea Thompson. She was also in Space Camp ( you think I have kids?????LOL ).

And yes, I know you Sun_Sue and no tome you don't count as a basher. I met you only once when you brought over baked goods for the benefit. You are a very caring lady so I wouldn't think of you as a basher.

calnvy 12 years, 3 months ago

As a native Kansan... I feel that at this point in time.... just about everyone has the right to... and SHOULD be bashing Kansas. I truely cannot believe that we allow so many closed-minded IDIOTS to have any power what so ever. I know that even in SW Kansas where I grew up, the majority of people are actually intellegent and pretty open minded when you get to know them. Did the Board of Education.... or Bored of Education not get enough good publicity for the state in Brown vs. the B.O.E?? Forget the Dorthy jokes.... and the twister comments.... Its the Wrong wing "christian" fundamentalist wacko's like Fred Phelps.... and the "family" oriented Sam-likes-it-bareback-in-the-backside-Brownback.... and OMG.... that Nazi.... Heir Klien that we call the Kansas Attorney General..... these great guys are some of what gives Kansas such a wonderful backwoods "appeal" and lead to all the bashing. Thank GOD I moved to a much more progressive state..... Califonia. The govenator is kindergarten cop, and a 230sqft studio condo sells for about $250,000. Kansas is actually a great state.... all the truely intellegent people need to band together and cut out the fat..... it is gonna give the heart of the "heartland" catatrophic failure.

tunarubber 12 years, 3 months ago

i love you calnvy! thank you for your post!

Linda Aikins 12 years, 3 months ago

HEY - One time when I was checking into a hotel (I was Jane Smith at the time), the clerk looked at my registration and said, "Kansas? Oh you have Fred Phelps". They are still looking for that clerk's head.

I missed a fun day. Who are all these new people?

beatrice 12 years, 3 months ago

With all this sucking all around, no wonder Kansas has tornados. The state is apparently in the middle of a sucking vortex!

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

We saw Fred Phelps once in Topeka. He was standing on the sidewalk protesting something. We were turning into the Red Lobster parking lot and we splashed some of his zealots when our car went through a puddle. It was accidental, but still pretty funny.

redmorgan 12 years, 3 months ago

Suppose I could have, but I was in a hurry to get some crab legs and those cheesy garlic bisquits!

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

redmorgan, I love redneck farmers...I think they're tractors are sexy!

and OMB, as a native, I can tell you it's pronounced Missoura. (Not really but that's what everyone thinks so why not go with it?) Are you really from Arkansas? I can't believe nobody has jumped on that today. You know, you and I could be relatives somehow. (through inbreeding, of course). I come from a line of hillbillies on the MO/Arkie border.

badger 12 years, 3 months ago

Yeah, it amazes me how many people think the population of Kansas is Dorothy Gale, some guy named Brown School Board (of the famous 'Brown School Board vs. Topeka' case that defined a slave as three-fifths of a person, you see...), and Fred Phelps.

It also seems to boggle them when I explain some of Kansas' more radical history. One gentleman even said, "Wait, I thought it was just a bunch of boring wheat farmers...why would they care about abolition or populism or even really politics? I mean, really, how controversial can farming really be? You plant the food, the food grows, you sell the food, someone eats it. Sometimes Willie Nelson has a concert for you and whines about Farmland and Monsanto and droughts. End of story."

He was very surprised to find that a surprising number of radicals and revolutionaries have come from 'boring' farm communities.

Oh, and I never said that the only coffee in the Northwest was Starbucks, just that the Northwest is to blame for its existence, so they forfeit a certain right to proclaim that they as an area understand what 'good' coffee is.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

OMB, I grew up in the NW corner of MO, but can't we just pretend? I'll buy a pair of "Bubba teeth" and we can have a family reunion.

raven 12 years, 3 months ago

Oh S_S not you too!!! I hate when people pronouce it Missoura. Really--there is no rule in the English lanuage where the "i" makes an "a" sound, it simply cannot!

That is why you should fight against people calling it Missoura. Please humor me. :)

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

Thanks OMB! I feel better now:) Will you list me in your will?

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

Raven, all English textbooks in MO actually make the exemption rule for the i pronounced a.

bearded_gnome 12 years, 3 months ago

"jane smith" must've been a convention that got you into that motel [no-tell-motel]./|-_

raven 12 years, 3 months ago

I did not know that. Is that true in textbooks in other states as well?

bearded_gnome 12 years, 3 months ago

SS: if the NW MO roots your family means, Gentry County, you and I could be very distant cousins, not through inbreeding...

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

Raven, yes. Arkansas texbooks replace as with aw. And in NC, they replace olk with uk as in Norfolk (pronounced Norfuk). This is an actual high school cheer: "We don't drink! We don't smoke! Norfolk! Norfolk!"

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

Bearded gnome, LARGE family from Oregon (MO) and then Fillmore, then to St. Joe. (just kept moving south)

OMB, As long as Skippy puts of heat and doesn't hog the covers.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

Bearded gnome, If you actually resemble a bearded gnome, you really could be one of my relatives!

bearded_gnome 12 years, 3 months ago

Okay,,,...,,, you all have had a very fun day I see. just got to read this starting in the 3pm hour, WOW... we've dunked Starbucks+, duncked the northwest+, defended Kansas with humor, irony etc.+ even returned to the topic of swords+, and are celebrating topless day here+++.

first, we celebrate topless day in november 'because' we're Kansans and damned proud of it, when the pioneers had to go around topless in november, or even january, did they complain? I think knot.....

second, the gates to Hell is guarded by a roundabout, but you have to drive around backwards to get through it, with your left hand out the window.

I have a poem I've composed about One-more-bob's sword...but I gotta walk the gnome dog, tune in tomorrow for that.

finally, I am from California, and would happily bash california!!! the FLAMING IDIOTS running that state are just getting crazier!!! hey, it is "the land of fruits and nuts."
Kansas has many good things to appreciate indeed. when I was moving here, for school, I most often heard people mention the distance from the seashore. and growing up 8 miles or less from the beach, I do miss it. but Kansas does have fine people. I actually love the four seasons here, including the thunderstorms.

now, I'm gonna walk Gnomedog, so he can walk through massive piles of leaves. makes him feel like a natural dog.

good job today all.

Linda Aikins 12 years, 3 months ago

Only if Bearded Gnome's first name really is BobbyEdArnoldRalphDougElvisDave!

beatrice 12 years, 3 months ago

bearded -- I suspect it is neither a verb nor an adjective, but rather an attitude.

italianprincess 12 years, 3 months ago


From Cali you say.........from what area were you living? I'm just curious as I am from there also. Born in Lakewood and raised in Buena Park. Yes, I'm from the O.C. people and proud of it, but don't believe I will be returning home anytime soon. I like the city/town atmosphere here to much and do enjoy watching the seasons change. You can't see that happen in Orange County. I do miss the ocean, the warm days, but do enjoy the wild thunderstorms we have here.

Pros and Cons I call it for wanting to stay here and not return home. The Pros are of course longer and more meaningful then just the weather also.

Richard Heckler 12 years, 3 months ago

Most comments I've heard reveal those commentators have not visited Kansas.

My wife has a sister who will not visit her because we live in Kansas. She was forced this past summer because our daughter married. One time she asked "What can you do in Kansas?" Her family sure had a great time here for a week. They are east coast and Florida folks.

oldfashiongirl 12 years, 3 months ago

Oh what fun! I'm watching "Wizard of OZ" and during commercials I go to read the posts. Talk about Kansas being bashed! You should be glad you don't live here in Kentucky. When I go away from here I'm frequently asked if we wear shoes in Ky and I reply that I wear shoes but I first must fill them with gravel. They ask about moonshine liquor stills in every home. Never was any in our home; however Dad did enjoy making blackberry wine sometimes. We are considered to have fast horses and beautiful women, but we locals know it is the other way around--beautiful horses and fast women!! They wonder about the Hatfield and McCoys feud and if I know them. Actually I believe they have reconciled. Dorothy and Toto are wonderful icons of Kansas. Naw, I wouldn't bash you all.

To all you veterans out there, my heartfelt thanks for all you do and have done. The whole nation salutes you! I have 8 brothers, who all served in the United States Marine Corps, the only family in US to have that many Marines from one family. SEMPER FIDELIS!! To my long lost Coast Guard friend from Lawrence, SEMPER PARATUS!!

thunderbuns 12 years, 3 months ago


Kentucky?????!!!! Whoa!!! I understand that's where the toothbrush was invented. Anywhere else and it would've been called the teethbrush.

Hey, that may be hitting below the belt! Sorry about that chief! But seriously folks.......

A tip o' the hat to you my dear lady for having so many heros in your family. I salute them all !!!!!!!!! God bless them !!!!

bearded_gnome 12 years, 3 months ago

Sunflower_sue: I most definitely resemble a typical gnome [not the travelocity gnome]. resenble in appearance, attitude [thanks Bea], and all gnomes are showmen at heart.
before my father, though, you have to go way back to find beards in my ancestors' pictures. and then, they're on my mother's side...those darn'ed fierce-faced germans.

bearded_gnome 12 years, 3 months ago

Gootsi: my first name was not among those. however, it does appear in the Bible.

sunflower_sue 12 years, 3 months ago

bearded gnome, I think we really are related. I, too, come from the fierce-faced bearded german women! I'm just waiting for my beard to come in thicker than my hubby's.

bearded_gnome 12 years, 3 months ago

Wow, Sunflower Sue...that sounds scarey! was men in my mother's ancestry who always looked fierce-faced and made one wonder why these sweet looking women would marry them!

bearded_gnome 12 years, 3 months ago

Italianprincess...sorry for the late reply and dunno if you'll see this; my excuse is my dear girl in pakistan called on skype to talk and Mrs. Gnome is under the weather requiring some care.

I know those cities well where you're from. if you look at my profile, you'll see my "hometown" is listed as "prunedale,CA." now, I suspect that you big city girl you probably never heard of that [you were probably sleeping when the car drove through it on highway #101]. that is, unless you were driving. its near Salinas, the monterey bay. rural california.
Mrs. Gnome grew up in South Central LA, and when I married her, she was living in Pasadena; but I took her away from all that!

bearded_gnome 12 years, 3 months ago

IP: p.s. I was already at KU when I met Mrs. Gnome so brought her here to wed.

calnvy 12 years, 3 months ago

It is 84 degrees here and sunny..... just north of San Diego.... Rancho Bernardo for any locals..... The beach is beautiful and you can't beat the weather if you try. Its true though.... This state is full of fruits and nuts..... I am a Nutty Fruit. Anyone who thinks they are "better" for where they live or are from, however, is a complete f'n idiot. I grew up on the Plains of Kansas.... in a conservative christian family..... a loving and openminded family being the key. I have heard all the jokes about our fine state and all the backwoods rednecks. I secretly laugh inside when I drive a few miles out of S.D. and see pick-ups with gun racks.... fields and tractors... barns and wind-mills. People are people.... no matter where you are from you will find the same kinds of people.

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