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How do you decide when to stay home sick?

Asked at Massachusetts Street on November 3, 2005

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Photo of Lowen Sapp

“If you’re in the food industry, you should always stay home when you’re sick. I usually only stay home when I have obvious symptoms that might get other people sick.”

Photo of Yan Zhang

“When I’m exhausted and don’t have any energy.”

Photo of Doug Harvey

“When the grump meter is in the red. If I’m still in a good mood, I’ll go to work.”

Photo of David Glavin

“I have to be pretty sick and have some severe symptoms. I get paid by the hour, so no work, no money.”

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Comments

sweatpeagj 9 years, 1 month ago

I normally have had to call in sick only right before my surgeries or after them. I actually worked for three months with no days off until I actually passed out at work. Dang bills still have to be paid wether sick or not.

sweatpeagj 9 years, 1 month ago

And if you do call in sick make sure that other employees don't see you out drinking in the bar later on. Kind of busts you with the boss and makes people that had to cover for you really angry.

Purell 9 years, 1 month ago

When the roundabouts won't make me throw up

neopolss 9 years, 1 month ago

I save my sick days for when I feel well. Besides, I don't care for some of my coworkers, so perhaps on a sick day I'll be feeling friendly towards them.

Yes, it is cruel, and I love it.

OFFTOPC: PETA president is selling herself for one day to the lucky winner. Perhaps you can ask a question to her, such as why PETA gave funds to a known arsonist, or why its own records state that it has euthanized over 80% of the animals it "liberates."

http://www.petakillsanimals.com

Jayhawk226 9 years, 1 month ago

Depends on when I have Cubs or Jayhawks tickets.

If anybody is heading to Austin for the KU @ UT game on Nov. 12, see ya there! We'll be rolling into town that Thursday night. Will be rolling out one of those "sick" days.

Avian Flu, the excuse that day.

billybeanbag 9 years, 1 month ago

I stay home when I am too tired to commute, usually it's when I'm sick and expelling bodily demons, but sometimes, its not. :-)

KsjKC 9 years, 1 month ago

I'm a bit of a workaholic--so bleeding and open and festering sores have to be involved...;) Actually, I do have the presence of mind to know that if I am feverish, then I am most likely contagious. Also, since my work involves so much talking, sore throats can keep me home. But feeling crappy just means my co-workers get the crabby me (which is virtually indistinguishable from the non-crabby me..)

GreenEyedBlues 9 years, 1 month ago

Aww I had Lowen Sapp in an anthropology class last spring! Hey girl!

bankboy119 9 years, 1 month ago

I normally don't get sick enough to stay home...usually if I can get out of bed then I can go to work. Now if the wife's sick then that's another story, I'll make sure to stay home and take care of the baby so she doesn't have to.

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

When I am sick?

Neopolss: The sad thing about your comment on PETA is that the remaining 20 percent are the ones that actually taste good.

Okay, just kidding. PETA does good things on making people aware of how gross and unneccessary it really is to wear fur, despite their often stupid and grandstanding ways. Now pass me that mink stew. yum.

bankboy119 9 years, 1 month ago

It's not gross to wear fur, probably unneccessary but if you can afford it and want to wear it why not? Besides, if I can get dinner and a coat from the same animal why not? Less waste.

staff04 9 years, 1 month ago

I don't get sick very often...that said, I generally don't have sick days to carry over to the next year.

Ceallach 9 years, 1 month ago

neopolss: Maybe PETA misunderstood the "give me freedom or give me death" to mean "give me freedom THEN give me death." Just another example of misplaced "compassion."

QOTD: If I have a fever (fever isn't such a new thing, fever started long ago -- but I digress), or if my head is buzzing too much to focus on my work.

ms_canada 9 years, 1 month ago

Haven't had a cold or the flu for 10 years or more. That I attribute to my sensible eating habits and washing my hands a lot. Whenever you re-enter your home, go straight to the wash room and scrub those hands. There are germs on everything in public places. So many people don't wash their hands. Should be a law.

Ceallach 9 years, 1 month ago

ms_canada: There is no law, but there is Purell :)

Purell: We now have your 8 oz children on every desk in our suite (with Aloe, of course). Thanks for killing 99.99% of Germs! Here's hoping the folks at PETA don't begin stalking you.

badger 9 years, 1 month ago

I stay home if my insides are trying to come out with extreme prejudice, if I have a fever over 100 degrees F (I run warm, so 99 could just be normal for me), or if a headache has rendered me either too dizzy or too pained to make the 20-foot walk from bed to shower.

I find that I get sick a lot less if my co-workers are not penalized for sick days, because they're more likely to stay home and not bring their Death Flu of Hacking Doom to work with them. Washing your hands and using Purell can only do so much good if the guy eight feet from you is coughing up his lungs, sneezing constantly, and oozing germs out into the atmosphere like a leaky spaceship giving off its air supply.

hammysammy 9 years, 1 month ago

"If you work in the food industry you should stay home" Believe me, we'd really like to. Every time I've been sick and tried to call in to a restaraunt, its like you are committing the world's most evil act ever. Basically, if you can't get your shift covered, then you're working.

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

PETA believes that you are inhumane if you have pets for animals. They strongly feel that all animals should roam freely around the country and not protected under humans like most of our pets are. I strongly disagree but that is just me.... Oh, and even_money, that comment yesterday was a JOKE and not intended for you..ease up man!

avhjmlk 9 years, 1 month ago

omb--I second that emotion! I saw "Death Flu of Hacking Doom" and about shot diet coke out of my nose!

Does that count as having bodily fluids violently escaping from an orifice? Can I call in sick?

avhjmlk 9 years, 1 month ago

It probably does, considering how much diet coke I consume...

staff04 9 years, 1 month ago

If anyone is interested in watching a partisan hack taking a beating with words, check out what's brewing over on the board for the Pat Roberts story...

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

bankboy: "if you can afford it and want to wear it why not?" How about because it is cruel? People don't really eat mink much these days, and to raise them in small, overcrowded cages until old enough to slaughter for their fur while the rest of the animal is tossed in a dumpster is cruel. Can't you see that, or do you really not care if an animal suffers? Same goes for clubbing baby seals for their pelts -- or do you think that is okay too? Please man, check to see if you have a pulse, because I have a feeling that you might have no heart.

Aiko: Have you ever been a member of PETA? Neither have I. So perhaps we aren't the ones who should describe to others what PETA members "strongly feel." Remember, it is usually the radical of any group who will make news with a stupid comment, but that doesn't mean that a single person always speaks for all members of a group. Pat Robertson acting as spokesman for all conservatives, for instance, or K.D. Lang as spokeswoman for all animal lovers. They don't speak for the majority, so you shouldn't take what they say as representative of the majority.

Now, go practice your joke writing techniques, or I will sick e_m on you again.

Halloween joke: A skeleton walk into a bar, orders a beer ... and a mop.

sunflower_sue 9 years, 1 month ago

Bankboy, What a good boy you are to come home to take care of the wee one when your wife is sick. Bravo! (Most "stay-at-homers") don't get that kind luxury.

I work at home. Can I call myself and say I'm not coming in?

Anyone interested in Penn & Teller's take on PETA...drop me an e-mail via LJW. (I know if I post the link I'll be booted off this site forever and then I'll have to go through the hassle of finding a new name;)) Really great to watch but you need to set aside 20 minutes and be prepared for some F bombs.

bankboy119 9 years, 1 month ago

Just because I think it's okay to kill an animal for its pelt makes me inhumane? Well if that's the way you feel then I'm sorry. If I want to buy my wife fox fur or ivory or mink doesn't mean I'm cruel in my eyes. You're entitled to your own opinion though. Personally my view stems from the fact that if I can kill them to eat them I can kill them to wear them.

jonas 9 years, 1 month ago

Bankboy: I think the difference is that one is for an actual need, the other is for comfort or luxary (i.e. triviality in some eyes)

Has anyone seen the simpson's episode where Mr. Burns does the song and dance about animal skin clothing?

"See my loafers, former gophers!"

I don't usually get sick, so if I call in these days, it's usually because I'm out of time on other things, like school and it's exams, that I need to get taken care of. I called in sick more often at my old job, but I hated it and didn't get the feeling that anything suffered at all from my absence. (debt collector yech!)

bankboy119 9 years, 1 month ago

I understand that the other is a luxury but I still don't have a problem with it. If others choose not to wear it that's their own choice as well. We do not own any fur but the point is being that if my wife wanted some, and we could afford it, I would not object.

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

Beatrice, I was a member of Peta for 4 years and gave them approximately $5000.00 total in donations. I received all of the shirts, hats, propaganda, etc... If you too were a member you will recall the mailers that were sent out every month. In these flyers is where they define there approach and in there you will find what I say is true. You and even_money seem to have it out for me so my gloves are on. whatever you got bring it on....

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

SunflowerSue, thanks for the link. Very funny I thought!

thunderbuns 9 years, 1 month ago

Answer to OTS question: when I'm sick.

PETA: My friend needed a job and I tried to help him get one. He said he'd like to work with animals so I got him a job at a slaughter house. He turned it down.

Ungrateful swine....

1derer 9 years, 1 month ago

So bankboy119, are you saying you favor a person's right to choose life or death for another living being to better accommodate your personal lifestyle or circumstances?

Fangorn 9 years, 1 month ago

Ha! Who gets to stay home sick?! I can't even remember the last time I was able to stay home from work when I was ill. Of course I've been unemployed for a while, so it's getting difficult for me to remember the last time I was able to go to work, too.

Beatrice: Your commentary in Ted Kennedy's name yesterday. LOFLMAO!!!

sunflower_sue 9 years, 1 month ago

Aiko, the link you saw was probably the one OMB posted...thank him. (You didn't e-mail me for the link I have)

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

Sunflower_sue, my bad, I am sorry.

bankboy119 9 years, 1 month ago

Not human to human but animals are not human so if I wanted to kill one to eat, for sport, or to make a coat then yes I do support that. I do not support one human being's ability to choose life or death for another human. I used to be for the death penalty but then realized that I believe it is un-Christian to support the condemnation of people. Also, if you're trying to go the route of abortion, abortion=murder.

hawkrew 9 years, 1 month ago

If I ever get sick I end up feeling guilty if I call in. I think it's from the years of working the in the retail and food industries while in college.

wonderhorse 9 years, 1 month ago

I can't think of anything I eat that wasn't once alive. I read that some of the Georgia clay tastes pretty good, though, and that back in the 1800's some poor Georgia farmers were referred to as "clay eaters".....

Tony Kisner 9 years, 1 month ago

Most days I have taken are becuase of a form of 24 hour mental illness. I believe the source of the problem is the work place it'self. Sunshine and cool breezes seem to help.

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

Aiko: It isn't a fight -- more of a debate, so take off your gloves, my internet friend. However, I must say that my gut feeling is that you are pulling my leg on your PETA membership. To go from a PETA-type to a soldier with the ## Airborne doesn't seem credible, at least not without your having at least something to say against bankboy's desire to kill any animal any time for any reason what so ever, just because he can or because his wife wants mittens made from kitten fur and bald eagle down filling. If I am wrong, I apologize, but if I am right, fess up. (bankboy, you on the other hand, please feel free to keep up the dukes.)

Fangorn: I knew you would like the Kennnedy line, and he deserves it. : )

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

Wow B, so what you are saying is that since I fought for my country that I am inhumane? If you fight you cannot love all animals! I am very sorry you feel that way but I am what I am. I have 4 dogs and three horses and even have 5 head of buffalo(which are mean as ^%$# on my property and believe me, I love these animals and would fight for them as I did for the United States of America. You must look at life much differently than I and I respect that.

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

Aiko, I meant it when I said that if I was wrong about my question then I apologize. I am not calling you inhumane (and if I did, why would you listen?) Instead, I asked the question of whether or not you were pulling my leg regarding your former PETA membership. (By the way, you didn't answer -- but never mind.) You must admit, the number of PETA members fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are probably pretty low, though I'm sure they are there. Just a question, so don't take it so personally, and tell me to pi$$ off if you wish.

In fact, I would hope that anyone who fights for our country be humane -- because when the inhumane go into a war zone we get things like the torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib. (Also, I would prefer you actually fight harder for the country than for the animals, but I understand where you are going with that.) Given your background, I think you too might want to ask a question or two of bankboy for his apparent disdain for animal life.

Now, as far as raising the 5 head of buffalo -- who is raising their bodies?

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

I hate it when I get interrupted when typing a post. Once I finish and then finally post my message, I find that someone pithier than myself (TOB) has beaten me to the punch on making a joke of the 5 buffalo heads.

neopolss 9 years, 1 month ago

PETA would suggest that a child with lice should not kill the lice in any way, and should safely remove the lice and find a suitable environment for them.

But then again, we're talking the same group that euthanizes over 80% of the animals it claims to save, often killing them moments after their "rescue." PETA has also made large contributions to a convicted arsonist who torched a university science laboratory. PETA does not deserve to be a tax exempt group, please sign the petition and let these extremist anarchists know that PETA does not save animals.

http://www.petakillsanimals.com

oh yes - on topic the very thought of PETA's actions makes me ill enough to call in sick.

lunacydetector 9 years, 1 month ago

Bob calls in to his job: "Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt, I'm not coming into work today."

The boss says: "You know Bob I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."

2 hours later Bob calls: "Boss, I did what you said and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got a nice house."

:)

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

I give up! Beatrice, you win. I am amazed that you stated this "(Also, I would prefer you actually fight harder for the country than for the animals," Now you are telling me how I should have fought for our country! Amazing, simply amazing. I frequent this post because when I need a break from working throughout the day this was a nice "break" if you will. Now it just seems like more work. Am I wrong here? Maybe I have lost my mind, it is very possible for what I went through over the past couple of years. Please let me know and I will stay off this post for everyones sake.

Ceallach 9 years, 1 month ago

bankboy119: While we agree on some basic Christian doctrines, I believe we have different interpretations of what was meant by "having dominion" over the animal life of this world. It seems to me that using animal meat and hides for daily necessities is completely different than raising them with the intent of killing them for what can only be described as prideful, self-centered reasons. "I like the way they look (and I look when wearing them). I like the way they feel. I like the warmth they provide (there are many options that provide warmth). I like the status I gain with my peers." I'm surprised that you have such a hard stand on this subject.

avhjmlk 9 years, 1 month ago

omb--Good lord, dude. Why did you have to go and soil your image? Now I have visions of Bob bobbing around in sketchy pleather "outfits" whilst typing comments on this board.

Aaaackkk!

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

Aiko, take a chill pill and call me in the morning. I'm not telling you how to fight -- please -- I'm pointing out that you and the lives of your fellow soldiers is far more important than the lives of animals, that is all. Geez, get over it!

avhjmlk 9 years, 1 month ago

Phew! I guess I assumed (you know what they say about assuming...) that since you were familiar with the site, you had purchased its wares...

Ahh, back to the happy mental world of fully-clothed Bobs.

avhjmlk 9 years, 1 month ago

The disturbing mental images in my head keep a'coming! If it's not one Bob, it's the other!

sunflower_sue 9 years, 1 month ago

TOB, something about germs and being humane to them???

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

Hey B, do not hold your breath waiting on that phone call from me. However, as bitter as you sound you need someone to call you for a date or something... must be getting old and lonely! Well, good luck with all of that.

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

TOB: The PETA thing is all neopolss's fault. He threw out this thing this morning of PETA euthanizing 80% of the animals it "rescues," I said something of it being a shame because the remaining 20% are the ones that actually taste good, and bankboy then, well, was bankboy, Ceallach wrote like a resonable Christian on the topic, and I asked Aiko if he was a liar and amazingly (!!!) he took offense -- all the while neopolss remains out of the fray. He farted in the room and then left, leaving everyone else to point fingers at each other. I think that about sums it up.

bearded_gnome 9 years, 1 month ago

greetings all!

Aiko, sincerely, I hope you will not leave us. I can certainly understand your history and perspective, and am grateful for your service.

in case anybody cares, I finally managed to upgrade my "profile" on here, and will add more in the next couple of days.

oh, the OTS topic...for me, every day is a sick day...call in sick for a sick day...hmmm

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

Bearded_gnome, thank you for that and you are very welcome. It was my duty and a privilege to serve for you and this great country. I am glad you feel that way. Good night all and I will see what tomorrow offers.....late!

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

See, he is still upset. It must be his time of the month. Aiko, "call me" is a figure of speech. And how do you get lonely or bitter out of my comments? (I'll accept old, because the clear lack of maturity on your part indicates you probably aren't far from the pimple stage yourself and thus everyone seems "old" to you. I gladly acknowledge the years I have lived.) Otherwise, I am happy and happily married. You, on the other hand, are reaching and apparently upset over what a stranger wrote about you, so now I'm laughing -- at you.

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

Beatrice, thank you for that reaction because that is exactly what I wanted. You have no respect and your image of me is as far off as you are sane.

Aiko 9 years, 1 month ago

The witch has mounted her broom...

avhjmlk 9 years, 1 month ago

Yikes, folks. Can't we all just get along?

bearded_gnome 9 years, 1 month ago

94 or something, unless some one posts while I'm writing.

geeez.

Aiko and Bea, can we call a truce?

and, how about that proposed new sewer plant...I'm so excited to learn that all of lawrence's sewage will be flowing south and east!

imagine giant sewer pipes under 6th, 15th, 19th and 23rd...

build the next sewer plant in NW lawrence, where the biggest problem is. oh, that might not be so aesthetically pleasing for the new developments?

the image of Bob in the leathers...oh the horror...

avhjmlk 9 years, 1 month ago

The only problem with building it in NW Lawrence is that they need river access to drain all of the cleaned water that comes from the sewer plant after all the sewage is removed. Unfortunately, there ain't no river in that part of Lawrence.

badger 9 years, 1 month ago

Apparently not.

Aiko, quit saying you're going to leave. To butcher Yoda's wisdom, "Bluff? There is no bluff. Do or do not."

Really, if you're going to stamp your feet and storm out of the room, you should at least stop standing in the doorway throwing poo.

Frankly, I get where beatrice was coming from, not because I believe that people in the military don't respect animals, but because I believe that the mentality that would understand and appreciate the need for the judicious use of applied military force doesn't seem as likely to be so completely opposed to the killing of animals for any purpose (including food and clothing). If you are the sort of person who can understand the necessity of picking up a gun and shooting another human being, I too find it hard to believe that you could engage in the sort of extremist attitudes PETA tends to exemplify.

Compassion for animals doesn't really come into it. One can be very compassionate towards animals without engaging in sociopolitical extremism.

badger 9 years, 1 month ago

(my 'apparently not' was with regard to whether or not we can all get along, not the presence or absence of rivers in various parts of Lawrence)

avhjmlk 9 years, 1 month ago

Thanks for the clarification. I figured you weren't talking about the rivers, but I couldn't figure out what you were talking about. (And that's embarrassing, since you were referencing one of my previous posts! Sheesh! I need to take a MENTAL HEALTH day, not a sick day!)

hawkrew 9 years, 1 month ago

Aiko...thank you for your service and protection of our freedoms, that said, no offense intended but relax a bit will ya...

I think PETA was started with good intentions but all we hear about are the zealots.

Being sick sucks, there's no enjoyment in a "real" sick day. However, being healthy on a "sick" day is awesome. Kind of like a Jack Handy quote don't you think?

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

Of course we can, annievalariehazeljanicemallorylouisekimberly. Unless you ask a question or make any statements contrary to what others think, then the simple minded try to act like bullies by calling others names. Like witch -- oh my, that one really stung. It is sad when people try to have a battle of wits, and then show up empty handed.

Ceallach 9 years, 1 month ago

If that ruins your image y'all need to use a little more imagination :) >>>>>

We have some short little chains today guys. ld, thanks for the comic relief. That is quite often omb's job but as we all know -- his mind is elsewhere :)

Aiko: Your comments and retorts are always welcome, unless you get too testy with me. Then of course, you will have to go.

italianprincess 9 years, 1 month ago

I just want my voice back. Been sick since the day after the benefit when it got cold and rained. Cleaning up the park in it was a charm and I'm still paying for it. It will be two weeks this coming Sunday and I want this bad cold to simply go away.

beatrice 9 years, 1 month ago

Okay, truce. No more throwing poo at Aiko. Onward PETA Soldiers.

And the truce starts ..... now.

Ceallach 9 years, 1 month ago

IP: Sorry you've been so sick. There are some really wicked bugs out there. Students and administrators alike are dropping like flies.

But it was such a lovely day, IP hope you got to enjoy it. The maroon and yellow mums around the purple fountain grass in front of Strong Hall are spectacular.

Linda Aikins 9 years, 1 month ago

IP - I got a little tickle in my throat on October 15, which led into my chest and sinus. I'm still not 100%, and the last time I had antibiotics for anything was at least five years ago.

It is brutal. And I did not miss any work, but probably should have stayed home. I'm not good at that - they may find out they can do without me!

italianprincess 9 years, 1 month ago

Ty for your sweetness you two. I will survive like I always do, but do plan on taking Monday off if I'm not feeling any better by then.

Working with kids is tough when you are not your best. Now they are all coughing and of course most of the time not covering their mouths. Talk about trying to explain covering your mouth when you have no voice coming out of your own mouth..........LOL

I'm just glad its not anything like the flu. Its just a throat thing, but taking meds to help it go away.

bearded_gnome 9 years, 1 month ago

AVH...did I miss something or isn't the Kaw river near NW lawrence???? there's river access.

bearded_gnome 9 years, 1 month ago

106 or something here...

Ceallach/IP, last week almost all of the week and weekend, Mrs. Gnome had a severe Gastro bout...very bad bugs indeed.

WASH YOUR HANDS!

sweatpeagj 9 years, 1 month ago

I am still not sure why there seems to be offended people in this area everyday! Why is it so hard for some to not take things personally just because others may not share your opinion? (key word OPINION) I enjoy reading the debates here but I don't get upset because others want an opinion and have learned to express it regardless if it differs from mine.

Ceallach 9 years, 1 month ago

Maybe there was a rift in the Force today. It's possible!!

gnomey: Best wishes for Mrs. G. After it finally leaves people are exhausted for days trying to recoup their strength. I wish her well. Bet your taking good care of her, too. That's always a factor in recovery.

bearded_gnome 9 years, 1 month ago

Thanks Ceallach,

111 here...that significant?

yes, I am, and yes, she was incredibly tired slept most of the weekend away. tuesday to school after Doc, then wednesday first full day on campus. she's almost back to full strength.

thank you for your kind words; I am a pretty good caregiver.

however, as a patient, I am doctors' worst nightmare.

was a beautiful day today.

yes, I think the force suffered here because the other day ljw had an article titled "turning to the darker side" or something close [the one about health benefits of dark chocolate].

that's probably disturbed the life force of this board.

'night Ceallach...

Ceallach 9 years, 1 month ago

Arschloch: Puke? Sounds like you have the same gastro bug that made Mrs. Gnome sick! Wash your hands a lot and use Purell.

Why so grumpy? You seem to have developed a new identity just to be smarmy. gnome taking care of his sick spouse is a good thing.

Now either be nice or go learn the meaning behind telling someone to "get a room." Your comment was a totally inappropriate usage of the term.

bearded_gnome 9 years, 1 month ago

yes, I looked, Ceallach, and I think you're right, this grumpy person joined just to say that!

wow.

Thanks again Ceallach...using a lot of antibacterial whipes here these days.

bearded_gnome 9 years, 1 month ago

in fact, look up the definition for this name in Deutsch...er ist einem gross arschloch! and, site staff, you might wish to nuke this user...

Ceallach 9 years, 1 month ago

Oh someone was just wanting to make a smart remark without reflecting on their regular user name. He/she may have had a bad day, hopefully they've got it out of their system. Either way they'll have to rant without me because I'm off to bed.

Good night to gnome, Mrs. Gnome and even you Arselocked:)

Manana

bearded_gnome 9 years, 1 month ago

'night Ceallach...and if arselocked didn't get it all out, there's always milk of magnesia...

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