“You don’t necessarily need a choice of 23 spray deodorants when children are going hungry in this country,” said Bernie Sanders. And he’s right. Twenty-three different deodorants, with only one purpose: to mask offensive body odors (although some ads hint at secret ingredients guaranteed to attract members of the opposite sex). Those 23 deodorants represent superfluous choices, mindless consumerism, wasted resources, hallmarks of the free market and unfettered capitalism.

Bernie Sanders is a self-proclaimed socialist. Socialists disapprove of freedom. They believe in fetters. In socialism, government controls the economy. If Bernie Sanders were president, there wouldn’t be 23 deodorants. There would be one standard, government-subsidized deodorant for everyone. Think of the money saved that could help feed hungry children. And wouldn’t it be better if we all smelled alike, from Wall Street tycoons to homeless indigents? The same applies to other products. Why do we need more than one kind of mouthwash or car when children are going hungry in the streets?

In the glorious world promised by socialism, there wouldn’t be any Wall Street tycoons. There wouldn’t be any superstars, celebrities, CEOs, no geniuses or flunkies, no competition, no winners or losers. Everyone would dress the same, talk the same, think the same. Discord would be prohibited by secret police. Everyone would get the same paycheck, except, of course, government officials who have to work so hard dreaming up new rules, taxes, programs and entitlements.

America was founded on the misguided notion that individual freedom inspires human ingenuity which dreams up fresh ideas for the benefit of all. But what freedom really produces is inequality. Freedom inspires some people to take more than their share. Innovations throw people out of work. Socialism would protect us from disruptive progress with a web of stifling rules and regulations. Moreover, studies have shown that freedom enables individuals to make irrational, unhealthy choices. Under socialism, a benevolent government would free us of the burden of choice. People don’t really want freedom, anyway. They want security. They want to be taken care of. Why does the caged bird sing? Because it likes its cage.

The socialist ideal is captured by the fable of two neighbors who each had a mule. When one neighbor got a second mule, the other didn’t want to get another mule himself. He wanted his neighbor’s second mule to die. That would make them equal again. That’s socialism for you. Capitalism may have increased humanity’s wealth by a factor of 10,000 in the past 200 years and lifted billions out of poverty. But what good does that do you if your neighbor has one more mule than you?

According to some sage, “The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.” Wouldn’t you be happier with a lower standard of living if everyone was equally poor and miserable? Bernie Sanders would. Parents, don’t tell your children to “do their best.” That’s like telling them to trample on others to get to the top. Teach them to ride with the herd. So bring on Bernie Sanders and the socialist utopia. Meantime, think about this the next time you spray deodorant on your underarms: Somewhere a child is starving because of you.

— George Gurley, a resident of rural Baldwin City, writes a regular column for the Journal-World.