Dear Dr. Wes and Sarah: I noticed this week my kids (a teen and pre-teen) are really down about things they’ve seen in the news from Bernie Sanders (you mentioned that one in your article a few weeks ago) to Trump to foreign terrorism to Orlando. Any pointers on what we should be discussing with kids?

photo by: Nick Krug

Double Take columnists Gabe Magee and Dr. Wes Crenshaw

Wes: I’ve noticed the same thing. Over the years, we’ve written many times in this column of mass shootings and violence and its impact on young people. My standard message since 9/11 has been to reassure kids that adults have things under control and that they’ll be kept safe.

Today, that message is a real hard sell.

For the past two years the under-25 crowd has paid more attention to politics and government than I’ve seen since 1972. But whether it’s Hillary, Trump or Brownback, they’re overwhelmingly horrified by the whole process. Their faith in national or state leaders to take them through frightening times rates about negative 10. So when we see tragic situations in Nice, France, Orlando, Fla., or wherever it will be tomorrow, they take no solace in what adults have to say. And even as I was writing that sentence, my AP phone app delivered the news that a man — later identified to be from Kansas City — had just killed three police officers and wounded three others.

There’s a growing divisiveness not only between parties but between young men and women; a fracturing of the dialogue about gender equality and sexual consent. Young people are also very attuned to racial tensions and are increasingly supportive of movements like Black Lives Matter, leaving them suspicious of law enforcement and distrustful of “law-and-order” politicians. And of course, as they enter the job market, youth face income inequity, which has grown even as the economy is astoundingly improved since 2008.

Perhaps the best thing you can tell your kids is that, while it may seem scary, watching, learning, participating, and encouraging others to do likewise is the best way to ensure our future as a nation and as a society. Divided and threatened as we may feel today, we’re all in this together. History tells us that even when faced with more terrible circumstances than these, our ancestors did their best work when they found commonality of purpose and pulled together. I suggest you lead your kids in the same direction.

Sarah: As I was driving through Lawrence the other day, watching red, white and blue banners wave on flag poles next to fire stations and car dealerships, I considered how, at this point, it would be all too appropriate if American flags just stayed at half mast forever. How many mass shooting have there been in the past two weeks? In the past two months? Can you count them? Can you hear the names of the dead in your mind? Can you catch your breath? Can you feel your heart beating?

If your children are scared, it means that they’re paying attention. Things feel less stable with every step. Whichever side we’re on, none of us can’t understand where this country is headed. I don’t know how many more lives we’ll lose by the time I’m done writing this. So yeah, I’m scared, too.

Tell your kids that black lives do matter. Tell them that transgender lives matter. Tell them to think through and stand up for what’s right. Tell your kids to be safe — to try to be safe. Tell them that it’s okay to be scared and that they’re brave for caring that much. Ask them to read and send age-appropriate news articles their way. Invite them to learn.

Tell your kids that the world is hurting and that words matter in healing or furthering that hurt. Tell them that bigots, and senate bills and big guns kill. Tell your kids that you’re sorry.

These aren’t sterile issues. None of us is insulated. It won’t be easy to talk about because this world is awful hard to live in. If you love your children and teach them to love others — to love everyone, to love strongly and forcefully and without prejudice or presumption — we can get better. Hate is a sickness. Violence is an epidemic. Doctors try so hard to kill cancer, but how do we kill the divisiveness, like racism and sexism, that Wes describes?

I don’t know, but I know it’ll take a lot of love.

— Sarah Lieberman is filling in for Gabe this week while he is on vacation.

— Wes Crenshaw, Ph.D., ABPP, is author of “I Always Want to Be Where I’m Not: Successful Living with ADD & ADHD.” Learn about his writing and practice at dr-wes.com. Gabe Magee is a Bishop Seabury Academy senior. Send your confidential 200-word question to ask@dr-wes.com. Double Take opinions and advice are not a substitute for psychological services.