Back to school

For some students, the arrival of a new school year holds the kind of hope and promise associated with turning over a new leaf. For others, it’s an occasion marked with dread, anxiety and sometimes fear.

Back-to-school jitters are common among kids of all ages, explains Janice Storey, director of children and family services at Lawrence’s Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center. In fact, most experience it on some level when returning to school, oftentimes juggling worries alongside excitement, she says.

Here, Storey shares some tips for parents (professional credentials aside, she’s also the proud mother of a recent college graduate) on guiding kids through back-to-school nerves.

Why so anxious?

“Summer’s been unstructured, and now they’re going back to a pretty regimented schedule,” Storey says. “Getting back into a routine, for some kids, particularly if they have a high level of anxiety or other mental health problems, can be an abrupt start to school.”

The upheaval can be especially challenging for children with learning or behavioral disorders, though kids without these diagnoses aren’t immune. Commonly shared anxieties range from academic to social: Will I like my new teacher? Will I be able to keep up with my assignments? Am I wearing the right clothes? Who will I sit next to at lunch? Will I fit in?

Kids transitioning to a new school, whether it’s the next step in their academic progress (i.e., elementary school to middle school or middle school to high school) or the byproduct of a family move, might experience heightened anxiety, says Storey.

Storey recommends sitting down with stressed kids.

What to watch for

If you notice your child acting withdrawn or disinterested in activities he or she once enjoyed, it may be time for a conversation. Changes in behavior sometimes indicate more serious issues than typical back-to-school butterflies.

“Whether they’re in high school, middle school or elementary school, a parent’s eyes and understanding of what’s going on” can be the first step in identifying anxieties and ideally putting them to rest, Storey says. And, while it’s easy to write off sullenness as typical teenage behavior, it’s still a good idea to keep a parental watch over older kids.

“There will be markers down the road,” she adds. “How are they doing academically? Do they appear to be doing well, or is there a change? Always follow up on those concerns.”

Oftentimes, younger children may be aware of the existence of their negative feelings but unable to pinpoint the reasons behind their stress. That stress can manifest itself physically in headaches, upset tummies, fatigue and other red flags, says Storey.

“With kids, it’s getting to know, where is it bothering them? What is their body telling them?” she explains. In these cases, parents may have to do a little detective work. Sit down with your child, Storey suggests, and remind them that you were also a kid once. Then, ask them to walk you through their day — simply going over routines, coursework and other basics may help to identify what’s really bothering your child.

No matter the age of the child, avoid an accusatory tone — you don’t want the talk to come across as a lecture, Storey says. Instead, keep an open mind and use open-ended questions that inspire open answers.

Next steps

If your child’s anxiety persists (after discussing the issue with you, the parent) more than a week or two into the school year, it may be time to seek professional help. A good starting point is your school’s counselor, Storey suggests.

Parents, of course, aren’t without their own anxieties. It’s important to safeguard your own mental health when caring for a child’s.

“As a parent who had to go through that with my child, sometimes it’s watching but not necessarily verbalizing every concern I have, because I may be giving her concerns that she hadn’t thought of,” Storey says.

To that end, Storey recommends finding a community of parents to lend a ear — chances are, they’re going through similar experiences. Look for support at school open houses. Volunteer at PTA groups or your child’s extracurricular activities. Sometimes, all it takes to build a relationship is sitting next to other parents at the football game, she says.