The Eutin Castle, in Eutin, Germany, Lawrence's sister city, is a cultural center of the community.

Martin Vollertsen, center, former Eutin, Germany Chief of Police and current Sister Cities Friends of Lawrence president tours the Lawrence Public Library Friday, Oct. 3, 2014, with other Eutin residents. Twenty residents from Eutin, Lawrence's sister city, are visiting Lawrence through Tuesday to celebrate 25 years as a sister city. Vollertsen has also put together an exhibit of the importance of German citizens in Lawrence history that is currently on display at the library.

From left, Henriette Schwartau, Maria Hieber and Carina Schwarz attend their jewelry class at Free State High school last week. The three are part of a group of exchange students from Lawrence's sister city Eutin, Germany, who will be in Lawrence for several weeks, living with a host family and attending school.

You can’t blame Lawrence City Commissioner Bob Schumm for thinking that a Kansas-style barbecue would be a good way to celebrate with 200 or so friends from Lawrence’s sister city of Eutin, Germany.

But it probably is fair to blame Schumm for the odd image that a sizable group of German airport employees likely have of Lawrence. You see, the barbecue was to be held in Eutin, and in Germany finding pork and beans can be quite a chore. So, Schumm had the dozens of members of a Lawrence delegation traveling to Eutin pack in their luggage a No. 10 can of pork and beans.

“I don’t think the custom agents knew quite what to think of us,” Schumm says.

Oh, well. If only all of our misunderstandings were so minor.

Helmut Scheewe knows very well that they are not. Scheewe’s father was killed in action in Russia as a member of the German army in World War II. Scheewe was 10 years old at the end of the war and remembers well his feelings.

“I knew that getting in contact with people who had been at war with Germany would be important,” Scheewe says. “I wanted to give them the feeling that Germans really are normal human beings and not these monsters who had occupied their countries.”

Perhaps a tall order.

“I remember Helmut telling me once that he never thought he would have an opportunity to have friends in America,” says Schumm.

But make no mistake, Scheewe not only has American friends but he’s helped provide 25 years of opportunities for American and German friendships to grow. Lawrence and Eutin are celebrating the 25th anniversary of their Sister City relationship, which started after Scheewe and other officials from Eutin and Lawrence came together through KU students who had taken summer language courses in Eutin. A delegation of about 20 Eutin officials currently are in Lawrence for banquets, cultural events and, really, just a lot of catching up.

“In these 25 years, there definitely have been meaningful, significant friendships formed,” says Ken Albrecht, chair of the city’s Friends of Eutin group.

There have been the email exchanges. There have been the Christmas cards. There have been the memories of watching young kids grow into young adults. There have even been a few marriages. Albrecht said there have been three Eutin/Lawrence couples who have married over the years, and a fourth is in the works, he said.

“There are many people in Eutin who say ‘before we die, we have to come visit our friends in Lawrence,'” Scheewe says.

In total, there have been a little more than 2,000 Lawrence and Eutin residents who have traveled back and forth between the two cities as a part of the Sister Cities program. They’ve done so for a common cause: a belief that if people get to know each other as people, there will be fewer chances for us to treat each other as monsters and enemies.

That’s the concept behind the international Sister Cities program, and that’s why dozens of high school students from each city participate in an exchange program each year.

Well, that belief, and perhaps a hankering for some fast food.

“I love the fast food,” says Niklas Gutzeit, an Eutin high school student who is studying at Free State for a three-week period. “We have Subways in Germany, but they don’t taste as good as they do here.”

Or maybe it is the football. Carina Schwarz, another Eutin high schooler studying at Free State, attended a recent KU football game, and raved about the experience. (Hearing this, KU Athletic officials already are planning polka promotions and schnitzel giveaways for future KU games.)

The students often focus on how different their two countries are. The school systems, in particular, are frequently critiqued. Both Gutzeit and Schwarz say the American system allows for students to better explore their individual interests. In Germany, students early in their school careers pick a path of study — the sciences or the humanities, for example — and have classes specifically designed for that interest. While at Free State, Schwarz — who is on a physics path — is enjoying a course in jewelry making.

It is easy to focus on the differences. When learning about another country or another group of people, the differences are often what are highlighted. But Albrecht, who has visited all three of our sister cities — Eutin; Hiratsuka, Japan; and Iniades, Greece — says it becomes more evident to him all the time that one of the great values of the program is that it reminds us of how similar we are.

Even residents of two countries who once fought the most vicious of battles still have more in common as humans than they have in differences as adversaries. Think about it for a moment. In 1989 we chose a German city as our first sister city. A year later, we chose a Japanese city. In 1989, many of the men and women choosing those cities had fathers who fought in World War II. Just one generation had passed.

“This program does show you how much is possible,” Albrecht says. “It is pretty special.”

It also can be an eye-opening experience. Sometimes the best friendships remind us of something about ourselves. As I was talking with several Eutin residents last week, I was struck by an observation of America that we sometimes suppress: America is unique. That’s not a synonym for better, but our Eutin friends made it clear that America feels different.

And it is not just our love of pork and beans.

Perhaps surprisingly to some, they all talked of an open-mindedness in America. Perhaps that is just evidence they haven’t spent any time listening to AM talk radio, or maybe their observations about our country go beyond mere politics.

“There is this theme of freedom that hangs over the entire country,” says Harro Kuenning, an Eutin teacher who has accompanied the dozen students to Lawrence.

Scheewe says America has taught him something of what “people can do on their own enterprise.” Starting businesses, tackling problems, standing up to powers that be.

“I am glad that America helped to expel the Nazis from power,” Scheewe says. “I think that was the most important thing.”

Carina, the high school student taken by our love of football, is of a different generation, so she says it in a different way. But she feels it too.

“The sky is bigger here,” Carina says. “You have more places to dream.”

A good reminder from good friends.