The television season may be nearing its end, but new “midseason” replacements keep arriving. ABC presents “Family Tools” (7:30 p.m.), a contrived fish-out-of-water tale about a hapless adult son, Jack (Kyle Bornheimer), forced to take over his family’s home improvement business after his father, Tony (J.K. Simmons, “The Closer”), has a heart attack. The good news is that this is not a “Home Improvement” knockoff. The bad news is that the good news stops there.
Even Tony’s heart attack is done for laughs, with his sister, Terry (Leah Remini, “The King of Queens”), negotiating with him to bring Jack into the business before calling the ambulance. Tony has good reason to keep Jack away: His son has no business being around power tools. Sadly, much of the physical humor in “Tools” involves horseplay with nail guns. It’s as funny as it sounds.
Bornheimer’s credits include a stint on the short-lived 2008 CBS adaptation of the British comedy “The Worst Week of My Life.” “Family Tools” is an adaptation of the U.K. series “White Man Van.” Help yourself.
Tonight’s other highlights:
• The competition continues on “American Idol” (7 p.m., Fox).
• Frankie meddles in Sue’s failed social media mingling on “The Middle” (7 p.m., ABC).
• Oliver has more amends to make on “Arrow” (7 p.m., CW).
• The documentary “Manhunt” (7 p.m., HBO) recalls the search for Osama bin Laden.
• A concert crowd gets out of hand on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (8 p.m., NBC).
• Phil shares career talk with Luke on “Modern Family” (8 p.m., ABC).
• A corpse receives a spa treatment on “CSI” (9 p.m., CBS).
• Voight arrives to collect a favor on “Chicago Fire” (9 p.m., NBC).
• Rayna mulls a surprise offer on “Nashville” (9 p.m., ABC).
• Philip and Elizabeth attend a meeting that feels like a setup on the season finale of “The Americans” (9 p.m., FX).
• “R&B Divas” (9 p.m., TV One) enters its second season in Atlanta.
• “Secrets of the Dead” (9 p.m., PBS) recalls efforts to record the conversations of German POWs during World War II.