What have we done to deserve “Cyndi Lauper: Still So Unusual” (8 p.m. Saturday, WE)? It arrives weighted with too much nostalgia. It’s been 30 years since the quirky girl from Queens arrived on MTV with her vibrant energy, offbeat hairstyle and cartoonlike vocal delivery. And it’s been more than a decade since MTV debuted “The Osbournes,” which all but invented this particular brand of “where are they now?” celebrity reality show.
There are some similarities between Cyndi and Ozzy. Both are singers of a certain vintage, unafraid to look and act their age. Lauper freely admits that she was already 30 by the time she called herself a “girl” in her signature song. But luckily for Lauper, she lacks Osbourne’s brain-addled behavior. She is in charge of her life, her image and her career. That’s good for her, but hardly fuel for comedy.
Lauper’s teenage son, Declyn, seems to have been raised well. So don’t go looking for a new Jack or Kelly to emerge from this spectacle. And like Sharon Osbourne, Lauper’s husband, actor David Thornton, provides the voice of reason. Lauper credits him for raising Declyn and keeping the home fires burning while she goes off doing her “Unusual” thing.
Since Sharon Osbourne was the biggest “star” to come out of the MTV series, perhaps Thornton could expect some celebrity as compensation for this invasion of his privacy. But he may have done too good a job of being a dad and a husband. The family is too well-adjusted to be very entertaining.
• Chris Harrison and Brooke Burke-Charvet host the “2013 Miss America Competition” (8 p.m. Saturday, ABC). This follows the “20/20” (7 p.m.) special “Pageant Confidential: The Road to Miss America.” Despite the use of “20/20,” the only “news” here is that the pageant has returned to network television after being exiled to a series of unsatisfying cable incarnations.
Saturday’s other highlights
• The San Francisco 49ers host the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Divisional Playoff (7 p.m., Fox).
• A recently blinded woman finds herself terrorized by her housekeeper in the 2013 shocker “In the Dark” (7 p.m., Lifetime), starring Elizabeth Rohm, Sam Page and Shannon Elizabeth.
• A Sweet 16 party raises some uncomfortable issues on “Wedding Band” (9 p.m., TBS).
• Christina Applegate hosts “Saturday Night Live” (10:30 p.m., NBC), featuring musical guest Passion Pit.