Original thinkers, such as first-year Kansas University football coach Charlie Weis, don’t accept “nobody else does it” as the equivalent of “it can’t be done.”
For example, no Big 12 football team goes two consecutive quarters without throwing a pass. It simply isn’t done, except that Weis did it Saturday and almost came away with KU’s first victory against Texas since 1938.
In keeping with that thinking, I have an absolutely outrageous suggestion for Weis to implement this week in preparation for a trip to Waco to face a Baylor team favored by two touchdowns and a field goal, a Bears offense ranked third in the nation with an average of 569.4 yards and a national-worst defense with a 553.7-yard average.
My outrageous idea would shorten the game by keeping the clock moving and make an already confused Bears defense trip all over itself.
Open your mind. Don’t just let your head explode with fury over the absurdity of the concept and listen to why it’s worth considering.
Bring back the ’bone, Charlie. That’s right: In one week, install the wishbone, drill your players on it and unleash a speedy running game on a Baylor defense that won’t know what just hit it.
This, of course, makes me an idiot. Moron. Fool. Double-chinned dunce. Fat fraud. Loser. Imbecile. Ignoramus.
OK, now that I’ve taken care of all your retorts for you, please continue to read the best idea to come along since the fast-forward button on the remote, which comes in so handy for skipping past all but the Kim Cattrall scenes in “Sex and the City.”
During Dave Campo’s first run as a college coach, the wishbone was all the rage. Have him quickly instruct the scout-team defense on how to defend it. Weis, a speed-reader when it comes to offensive X’s and O’s, could brush up on the particulars in no time, and then it’s just a matter of drilling the players on how to make the proper reads.
Running the wishbone properly requires skilled reading of the defense and perfect timing on decision-making from the quarterback. It takes tons and tons of reps to perfect it. Perfect is not the standard for this KU offense.
Put Christian Matthews at quarterback, Brandon Bourbon at fullback, Tony Pierson at left halfback, James Sims at right halfback, Mike Ragone at tight end and Jimmay Mundine on the other side of the field as a wide receiver.
In the wishbone, nobody on the offense knows the play is until the ball is snapped. The defense calls the plays, based on whether it guns for the fullback, the first read, the quarterback run, the second read, or the pitch man (halfback), the third read.
At least the offense would have a week head-start on the nation’s worst defense, just the sort of edge Weis seeks each week in the role of Big 12 underdog