To the editor:

So now there are 31 states that have banned same-sex marriage. Although I believe the motivation for such activities is discomfort with and hatred of gay and lesbian persons, motivation is usually attributed to the desire to preserve heterosexual marriage, which is apparently under threat from gay and lesbian persons who simply seek to have loving relationships.

Given my experience as a sex and marital therapist, I guess I would have to agree that heterosexual marriage is threatened. Fifty percent of them fail, and the remaining marriages are not all happy relationships. I would suggest a few other options to preserve heterosexual marriage. First, heterosexuals would not be allowed to marry until age 30, thereby increasing the probability that they would be mature enough to succeed in a long-term committed relationship. Second, before heterosexuals could get married they would have to take a monthlong workshop designed to lower the level of betrayal (read infidelity) that is so prevalent. Finally, I would urge legislation to disallow or make divorce virtually impossible, no matter how dysfunctional, unhappy or unfulfilling the marriage, thereby preserving same.

The threat from gays and lesbians are minimal in the face of other issues that appear to compromise heterosexual marriages. Gays and lesbians do not threaten heterosexual marriage, but heterosexuals surely do.