You would think that “Jersey Shore Shark Attack” (8 p.m.) would make a natural addition to Syfy’s Saturday night shocker franchise. Sadly, not even the deliriously low standards of this showcase can save this spoof.
Somebody had fun coming up with the idea for the movie and its title — not to mention the casting process. Look for Paul Sorvino (“Goodfellas”) and Tony Sirico (“The Sopranos”) as relative grown-ups and even ’N Sync’s Joey Fatone as himself. A cast of lesser-known performers impersonates the MTV reality show with names like Nooki and The Complication.
You know your 15 minutes of fame are up when you’ve been stranded in a send-up of your own show. Vinny Guadagnino (“Jersey Shore”) is here and does not seem to realize that the joke is on him. It’s difficult to ruin the formula that gave us “Mansquito,” but “Jersey Shore Shark Attack” only works as proof that you cannot parody a parody.
• Far, far from Seaside Heights, N.J., “Stephen Hawking’s Grand Design” (7 p.m., Discovery) examines the big questions of science: What is the meaning of life? What is the size and age of the cosmos? How was the universe created?
• My life as a man has taught me that folks who have to draw attention to their masculinity tend to be insecure. I can only imagine how Ted Nugent cries himself to sleep every night. The sixth annual “Guys Choice” (8 p.m., Spike) arrives to celebrate dude-ness in movies, TV and popular culture.
• I can safely say that no Spike viewers are going to be watching the 2012 romantic Western “Hannah’s Law” (7 p.m., Hallmark).
Saturday’s other highlights
• The Los Angeles Kings and New Jersey Devils meet in the 2012 Stanley Cup Finals (7 p.m., NBC).
• The New York Yankees and New York Mets tangle in interleague baseball action (6 p.m., Fox).
• “Life After” (7 p.m., TV One) profiles record producer Andre Harrell.
• Teens go on the lam after killing a predator in the season five premiere of “Wicked Attraction” (9 p.m., ID).