Among the joys and burdens of reviewing television is the professional duty to keep up with every new Christmas special or movie, whether good, bad or abominable. It’s in that spirit that “A Christmas Wedding Tail” (5 p.m., Hallmark) must be mentioned. For what is more cloying than a Christmas movie in November than a Christmas movie narrated by a dog?
Like almost every Hallmark movie ever made, “Tail” involves a spunky urban woman (Jennie Garth) exiled to the picturesque hinterlands by economic misfortune. In most of these affairs she finds love, but in the case of “Tail” it’s her dog who falls in love with a dog owned by Jake (Brad Rowe), the owner of a local winery. And it’s not giving too much away to say that this unleashed canine canoodling proves contagious. For those keeping score, Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox provide the dog’s voices. Yikes!
• If that’s not enough Yuletide for you, catch Dean Cain as an ambitious attorney who defends Santa Claus in court against a predatory tycoon in the 2011 fantasy “The Case for Christmas” (7 p.m., Hallmark). This film takes place in a fantasy world where the jolly guy and his elves are glued into public opinion polls and very afraid of Santa’s plummeting appeal. Gee, that makes Santa sound like NBC! As you can imagine, it’s going to take a miracle to save the day and, I guess, the sleigh. Help yourself.
Tonight’s other highlights
• College football action (7 p.m., ABC).
• A nuclear sub lost in time on “Primeval” (8 p.m., BBC America).
• Cliff Richard, Kelly Rowland, Alan Sugar and Micky Flanagan appear on “The Graham Norton Show” (9 p.m., BBC America).
• Jason Segel hosts “Saturday Night Live” (10:30 p.m., NBC), featuring musical guests Florence + the Machine.
Director Stanley Kubrick casts his characteristically cold and brutally distant eye on the war in Vietnam in the 1987 drama “Full Metal Jacket” (7:05 p.m., Saturday, IFC).
Tell it to the FBI on “The Big Bang Theory” (7 p.m., CBS) ... Defending a campus shooter on “Harry’s Law” (7 p.m., NBC) ... On back-to-back episodes of “Cops” (Fox): Springfield, Mo. (7 p.m.), Des Moines, Iowa (7:30 p.m.) ... Poor diplomacy on “2 Broke Girls” (7:30 p.m., CBS).
Suspicion falls on Jane’s in-law on “The Mentalist” (8 p.m., CBS) ... Murder in a hotel on “Prime Suspect” (8 p.m., NBC) ... Fear goes viral on “Terra Nova” (8 p.m., Fox) ... A suspect has an unusual alibi on “Law & Order: SVU” (9 p.m., NBC).