Has bullying changed?

Children and teens picking on their peers is nothing new. People of all ages can remember being the victim or the perpetrator of such abuse. It was hurtful, even cruel, but it happened.

What gives us cause of pause today is the number of youngsters who apparently have been so distraught over bullying that they have chosen to take their own lives. A story in Saturday’s Journal-World documented four cases of suicide within two years in one small Cleveland suburb: a girl who hanged herself, two students who shot themselves to death and another who took a fatal overdose of pills. One was an immigrant with a heavy accent, one a boy who liked to wear pink and sing soprano in the school choir. One girl thought she might be gay and another had a learning disability and hearing problem.

They were all different, the favorite target of young bullies, who will go to about any lengths to prove they are superior, even if it means they have to destroy someone else.

Another notable recent case in New York City involved a young man who had been taped making out with another young man. After the tape was posted on Facebook, he jumped to his death from the George Washington bridge.

The Internet certainly offers new opportunities for bullies to deliver the ultimate humiliation, but the cases in the Cleveland suburb didn’t involve the Internet; they were just a matter of good old-fashioned cruelty.

Remember that old saying, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me”? The old standby advice of parents isn’t working any more. Is today’s abuse more cruel, or are children and teens under stress just reacting to it more strongly? Has suicide become romanticized as an escape from the pains of life?

It seems clear that the dialog needs to change. We can’t just look at bullying as a normal rite of passage for our youngsters. We can look to schools to address the issue, but it also demands the attention of parents, grandparents and even other youngsters willing to take a stand and rein in the bullies.

It’s fine to try to get youngsters to toughen up and ignore the teasing of others, but that’s easier for some kids than it is for others. Even when youngsters are in the depths of despair, we need to help them understand that things can get better. At the same time, we need to make would-be bullies understand that there’s nothing funny or uplifting about driving another youngster to suicide.

What used to be viewed as a rite of passage has become a deadly game. We need to try to change the rules.