The madness of March is officially upon us.

I am not just talking about the month of Lent, which leaves people like me regretting our Ash Wednesday declarations and wishing we had included an exemption allowing for consumption of chocolate after noon as the 40 days drag on.

No, of course, I am talking about the madness of college basketball and the Big Dance that doesn’t end until Luther Vandross sings of our “One Shining Moment.”

As we began our march, I investigated what it takes to make a championship team.

Coach Self was not available. Something about going to Kansas City this weekend to twist some Tiger tail. But I did find “Coach D,” as he has asked to be called. Coach D has ample time on his hands, now that his first season as head coach for a team of area third-grade boys has come to an end.

Coach D entered his rookie season with quite a résumé, most recently serving one season as an assistant in the second-grade boys’ rec league. He has also assisted Bill Self (in yelling at refs) and advised Roy Williams (on clock management), occasionally from the bleachers at Allen Fieldhouse, though usually from the sofa in his basement. He has never missed a game.

“So, Coach D,” I started, “I hear you ended the season with a perfect record.”

He took a deep breath. “Yes, technically speaking,” he said. I could tell the season had taken a lot out of him, as championships do not come easy. “We were 0-10. Our boys were consistent.”

“But I understand you made some progress that could pay off next season,” I said. “Can you elaborate?”

“Oh, we made tremendous progress,” he said, straightening up in his chair. “The refs shut off the scoreboard a few minutes in for the first six games because we were getting pummeled so badly. By the time the season ended, we were losing by very respectable (double-digit) margins. I figure we’re only one 5-foot-tall 9-year-old away from next year’s trophy.”

“What were the key plays that contributed to your turnaround?” I asked. “The cut-and-fake? The dribble-drive? The alley-oop?”

Coach D smiled. “No,” he said, “just the basics. Shooting … rebounding … passing … to their own teammates.”

“Any highlights from the season stand out? College scouts? Shoe contracts?”

“My son fouled out shortly into the third quarter one game, and I waved the wheat for him,” he smiled. “The only time I got to wave the wheat all season.”

“Wow, talk about shining moments,” I said. “So with one season under your belt now, do you have any tips for Coach Self and the Jayhawks?”

“Self’s boys have natural talent our kids have yet to exhibit,” Coach D explained, “but I would still give them the same advice I gave our guys. As long as they stay focused, only pass to their own teammates and have fun, the championship is theirs to win.”

Rock Chalk!