Detroit ? In my memory, when I was between the ages of 9 and 12, the Lakers and Celtics played each other in the NBA Finals 14 times.

I know that’s not quite right–they actually played three times (in 1984, 1985 and 1987) — but that is how it seemed to me. One thing about being a kid is that you have no perspective. Ten years ago and 100 years ago might as well be the same thing. Ten years from now won’t happen for 100 years, so you don’t worry about it.

For that reason, the best teams and athletes of your childhood tend to cast a long shadow in the mind of a sports fan. If I ask you to name your favorite athlete of all time, I’d bet his (or her) career peaked around the time you were 12.

Miguel Cabrera, for example, is a better hitter than anybody on the 1984 Tigers. Not just better, but significantly better. Any set of numbers will bear this out. But if you are between the ages of 30 and 40, and you grew up here, I bet it is hard to get your mind around that. Cabrera may be better, but he cannot possibly mean as much to you.

I bring this up because, for the second time in three years, the Lakers and Celtics will be renewing their rivalry in the Finals. It has a chance to be a great series: The Lakers have the best player in the playoffs (Kobe Bryant, of course), but the Celtics have been hot, have four exceptional players and play terrific defense.

And of course, that’s not what I’m thinking about at all.

I’m thinking that this is a pale imitation of the Magic Johnson-Larry Bird days. I’m thinking it doesn’t mean as much to anybody, especially the players involved. I’m thinking it’s barely even a rivalry–take away the history of these teams, and nobody would even think the current Celtics and Lakers were rivals.

I’m thinking that ESPN will blow this into ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THE GREATEST RIVALRY IN THE WORLD and I’m going to feel a little ill.

And then I think: Wow, I am one bitter old man.

If you are going to be a sports fan as an adult, you have to accept a few things. Cities will spend money on stadiums that they should probably spend on education. Teams would change uniform colors to teal and rouge if they could sell more jerseys, and they would sell the naming rights to their souls if they could get away with it. Players might play for a lot of coaches, but they answer to only one man, and his name is Benjamin Franklin. Every time you see a championship celebration, you should assume that a few of the people in the picture are on some kind of performance-enhancing drug.

I’m not saying this is right. A lot of it is certainly not right. I’m just saying that if you can’t live with it, then being an adult sports fan is probably not going to work for you.

I have (mostly) made my peace with all of that. But Lakers-Celtics just feels different to me. I mean, if you are a lifelong Tigers fan, and next year the Yankees or Cardinals start the season by going 35-5, wouldn’t you feel like that 35-5 could not possibly be as cool as what the ’84 Tigers did?

If you are 35, Kobe-Kevin Garnett cannot possibly be as important as Magic-Bird. But if you are 55, Magic-Bird was not nearly as important as Wilt Chamberlain-Bill Russell. And if you are 15 and this doesn’t make sense to you … well, wait until you are 35.

And if you’re 55, or 35, or 15, and you’re a Pistons fan, then maybe it isn’t that hard to reconcile your feelings about the Lakers and Celtics: You hate them both.