Wes: We’ve now attended our share of graduations. I put in my time at two this spring, so I thought it fitting that Samantha — a new graduate herself — and I offer a few thoughts on the road ahead. As I finished watching 481 seniors walk the stage at the Intrust Arena in Wichita, I found myself not only weary, but a little sad. For some of these kids graduation day marks a high point in life, an idea reinforced in dramatic invocations to walk through the doors and change the world.

For my part, I hope none of the hundreds of kids I saw get their diplomas this year allow this day to be their greatest achievement. That’s just not a viable option anymore. A high school diploma is what we call in this business “necessary but insufficient” for success in today’s world. Tomorrow’s job market isn’t designed for people with basic education. So if new graduates haven’t figured it out already, now is a pretty good time to start planning the next move.

There’s no harm in putting off some life-altering decisions, especially if a teenager’s maturity level isn’t up to the task of higher education or career choice. Too many kids head off to college, spend incredible amounts of money and parental patience on one or two years of heavy partying. One needn’t enroll in college in order to get drunk from Thursday night ’til Sunday morning, nor should parents or the taxpayers foot the living expenses for kids hell-bent on bombing out of school.

Even for solid students post-graduation can go south quickly if they are too unfocused in their goals. It’s okay to spend about four semesters getting basic education requirements out of the way, but college gets really old by sophomore year if a student doesn’t have a vision for the future. Those who lack vision often drop out, or finish with degrees that don’t further their chances of employment. Instead, I strongly recommend all high school juniors and seniors spend some serious time studying the job market when considering what to do next. It’s easy to learn almost everything about any career by simply Googling “U.S. Department (fill-in any career you choose).”

For those who are not ready to take the plunge, sitting out the next couple of years playing video games and living off the folks should NOT be an option. Parents of these in-betweeners should honor their kid’s choice to wait on school, while expecting them to sustain themselves. They need to find a job, pay their own expenses and probably move out. This should never become a punishment for failing to go to school, simply the logical alternative.

For those who forge ahead with higher education, I suggest two words: “choice” and “balance.” Choose a school wisely based on what fits you at this time in life. If you’re going to be a “normal” college student and party a lot, I suggest you take a look at the statistics on what “normal” means. A great many students (20 percent at Kansas University) won’t be back for sophomore year. Another chunk won’t make it to junior year. It’s fine to have a social life, but it has to coexist with the real point of school: finding a path to gainful employment, meaning and citizenship. If you can’t find that balance, go up a few paragraphs and reconsider whether now is the best time to spend all that cash on higher education.

I could close by wishing all the graduates good luck, except that wouldn’t be very good advice. Instead, I’ll offer my one sentence graduation speech: We each make our own luck, go through those doors and make yours.

Samantha: I agree with Wes that graduation is about realizing what YOU can do, about imagining your future. But I think graduation should also be about remembering what WE can do and imagining the future WE can create. Throughout my high school career, I’ve witnessed the power of “us,” and I’m in awe.

Last year, we students stood our ground to Fred Phelps and his followers. We defended our peers when Phelps picked on them because of their sexual preference. We told Phelps and his brethren to leave, because their hatred had no place in Lawrence. They left. This spring, the school board put music on a list of possible cuts. We gathered our friends, our parents and our instruments and asked the board to reconsider. The board listened.

Sitting alone at home, texting or playing video games, we’re just a bunch of teenagers. We’re powerless. Together, we are a force to be reckoned with. Adults respect us because we have the power to make change.

As we split off, heading excitedly toward our new futures, we each should consider ourselves to be one arm of a starfish. When you cut off one arm, an entire new starfish grows from it. We can go forward and become the leaders of new movements, because we know the power of “us.”

In the end, it doesn’t matter what lunch table we sat at in high school or who we went with to formal. These characteristics will become the trivia of our high school days. What will matter is what we do next to make a difference. What will matter is our ability to rally others for a cause we believe in.

When you get to your next destination, the first question someone will ask is your name. The second is, “Where are you from?” I hope you’re proud to say you’re from Lawrence, Kan. I know I am.

Next week: My daughter graduated and now she wants to get married.

— Dr. Wes Crenshaw is a board-certified family psychologist and director of the Family Therapy Institute Midwest. Samantha Schwartz is a senior at Lawrence High School. Opinions and advice given here are not meant as a substitute for psychological evaluation or therapy services. Send your questions about adolescent issues (limited to 200 words) to doubletake@ljworld.com. All correspondence is strictly confidential.