Do you scrub, scrape and scour baked-on crud on cookware; fall off your ladder when cleaning gutters; and torture yourself to get a firmer fanny? Wish there were a better way?

Then stay up late tonight, rub your magic TV remote and — abracadabra! — Infomercial Genie will save the day.

Infomercials are a mighty money machine, according to the editors of Consumer Reports. They can chop marketing costs to as little as one-tenth the size of a traditional advertising campaign and slice posted prices when they increase the total bill with shipping and handling fees and other extras.

The secret, according to an advertising expert, lies in neuroscience. Infomercials are carefully scripted to pump up dopamine levels in your brain. The fun starts with dramatizations of a problem you didn’t know you had followed by an incredible solution, then a series of ever, more amazing product benefits, bonuses and giveaways, all leading to the final thrilling plunge of an unbelievably low price. After the ride, dopamine levels drop in 5 or 6 minutes, which is why they ask you to buy in the next 3 minutes.

CR’s tests of 15 products sold through infomercials reveal that many of them are not worth buying. Its experts suggest that some of the products not worth paying for include The Slap Chop dicer, the Snuggie, the ShamWow, The Ab Circle Pro, Debbie Meyer Green Bags and the iRobot Looj gutter cleaner. Its findings include:

• Slap Chop. The Claim: By slapping this gadget with your palm, you can “dice, chop and mince in seconds” and remove skins from onions and garlic. Cost: About $20. The Check: CR slapped mushrooms, potatoes, carrots, chocolate, almonds and other foods. Bottom Line: No high fives. It chopped unevenly. Harder foods needed about 20 slaps and tended to get trapped in the blades.

• Snuggie. The Claim: “The Snuggie blanket keeps you totally warm,” and is made of “ultrasoft, luxurious fleece.” Cost: $19.95 for two. The Check: CR testers put Snuggies through 10 wash-and-dry cycles and asked 11 staffers to wear and comment. Bottom Line: The Snuggie was so far from snug that several staffers had trouble walking. When washed it sheds.

• PedEgg: The Claim: The foot file removes calluses and dead skin to “make your feet feel smooth and healthy with NO MESS!” Cost: About $10. The Check: Twenty-six women and three men with rough, callused feet tried a PedEgg on one foot and a pumice stone on the other. They used each product once, rubbing PedEgg on dry skin and the stone on wet skin. Bottom Line: Crack open a PedEgg. It was very good at removing callouses and good with dry skin.

• Grease Bullet: The Claim: “Just fill your sink with hot water, drop in the Grease Bullet, and soak your toughest baked-on cookware, no more scrubbing!” Cost: $10 for 12 bullets. The Check: CR tested it on glass, ceramic, stainless-steel, aluminum and porcelain-coated cookware in which testers baked on a thin layer of beef broth and an evil mix of cherry pie filling, tomato puree, egg yolks, lard and cheese. Bottom Line: The bullet is no bull’s eye, but it could be worth a shot. It did a reasonable job with most residues if the cookware soaked for the recommended half hour.

• ShamWow: The claim: “Like a chamois, a towel, a sponge, works wet or dry, holds 12 times its weight in liquid.” Cost: Four 19-1/2-by-23-1/2-inch towels and four 15-by-15-inch towels cost $19.95. The Check: CR testers dunked ShamWows in water, soda and milk until each could hold no more liquid and the small ones to see if they could slurp up as much water, milk and used motor oil as sponges. Bottom Line: CR wasn’t wowed. ShamWow soaked up only 10 times its weight in water or soda and usually 12 times its weight in milk.