Lawrence resident Richard Ballard shares here his recent experience with the recent phone scams. Some of this account has been edited.

“On 12-4-09, I received an early morning call from a young man with the “Grandpa it’s me” greeting. The caller I.D. indicated a “Private Caller” with no number.

He really did sound enough like my grandson to get my attention, at least until I woke up fully.

The young man said he needed my help really bad. Seems he had gone on a weekend road trip with his friends to Canada, there was drinking, and he wrecked his friends car while DUI. He said he was now in a Canadian jail.

He needed me to wire him $3,600 dollars ASAP for bail money, and to fix his friends car enough they could get back home!

I ask him what his dad had said. He said he hadn’t called his dad. He called me first, because he knew how much I loved him, and would want to help him, whereas his dad would just get mad and yell at him. I told him unless his dad called me personally, and told me he was in jail in Canada, and asked me to wire $3,600 bucks to an unknown person, he could stick his big black phone up his A– ughhh — where the sun don’t shine.

He hung up.

By the way, my real grandson is 13 years old and rode a big yellow bus to school that morning!

I then called the Lawrence PD, and talked to a detective to report the attempted scam. He told me they can’t access my phone records without a court order, and since the scam failed, they could not do anything. He told me to call the State Attorney Generals office, and gave me the number.

I then called the state AG, was put on hold for 20 minutes, then transferred to the Consumer Protection department, put on hold again, then talked to the proper person. I related the attempted scam to him. They told me that “since Canada was mentioned”, it was out of their hands. I would need to call the State Department in Washington D.C., and they gave me that number.

At that point, I gave up trying to report it. Based on my experience, it appears to me that no one with the capability to stop this scam really gives a damn!

My advice to anyone receiving a “grandpa It’s me” call?

• Ask personal questions of the caller that only your real grandson

would know.

a. Dog or cats name?

b. Color & make of car you drive? (You drive a pick-up truck and

always have.)

c. Did you re-injure the broken arm you got in football practice?

(There was no broken arm, and no football!)

d. Other questions only your grandson would have correct answers for.

• DO NOT send any money anywhere until you have confirmed with a parent, or your real grandson, it really is your grandson.

• Don’t bother reporting the call to police or AG, because it is a dead-end road, and a waste of about an hour of your time.”