Gah rats! I fixed the headline. Thanks.

Whitney Mathews Assistant Community Editor for Online

Someone should write a children's book about animals in the sewer. The Gutter Gang, a madcap tale (pun intended) of the underground existence of Stormy D, a kitten who's bane of existence are falcons and city workers that like cats, her mischievous friend, Ron "there wasn't really a place for me in the Baker Wetlands anyhow, so I say, build the damned thing" Raccoon and their attempt to form a small coalition of critters and their fight against the mysterious beast, The Kaw, at the Battle of The Last Drainpipe.

Then again I could be weird.

Fastastic idea!

Not sure I'm crazy about the name though. How about "The Sewer Seven"?

You write the story and I'll do the photos/illustrations/design.

Deal.

It'll be a commode-ity of errors! (I am not a fan of puns, but kids love 'em!)

Culvert Critters? Sub-urban Urchins? How about The Tale of (the) Trench Wayfarers and the Battle of the Grand Gulch?

"Stormy D and the Sub-Urban Urchins"

I love it.

I edit too---send me a draft. I wonder if whoever adopts Stormy D will let me take pictures of her. She's adorably photogenic. Of course, finding a raccoon who is willing to pose might be a problem.

I see possums coming out of the drain also. Polly Possum?

That's refreshing. I do enough freelance editing that I like to avoid it as much as possible, especially my own writing.

Polly "the Perp" Possum. We're going urban after all, right?

A male rat is called bucks, so maybe we can throw an educational tidbit in there and call him Buck. That's very Kansas-y, yes?

Catfish Charlie was the most toxic of the fishing baits my father used, so maybe we should go with Chuck. Chuck and Buck.

We can fit the gals in somewhere. Maybe they'll be they'll come along during the coalition's adventure down to the battlefield. They'll probably be hanging out near the emu oil stand at the Farmer's Market, eyeballing the reasonably priced bouquets and feeding on dropped teething biscuits.

Just a thought...

Recruiting at the Farmer's Market---I like that.

How about a stealth book---ostensively for children but with a twist for adults (or all ages). Educational tidbits are good. Wonder if it's possible to get a map from the city of the sewers.

Stormy D gets swept into the sewer during a rip-roaring Kansas thunderstorm, where she is surprised to discover other critters living or hiding. She meets Polly and Ron, who are guiding her to the surface when Ron pulls some sort of prank, leaving Stormy alone to face the Animal Control Officer. Then Ron and Polly must save her from the shelter before she is sold into slavery or worse---nobody chooses her.

OK, way past my bedtime.

I have ideas to toss in other local icons...Liberty Hall, Waxman, Old West Lawrence, the eagles on the Kaw...the Hat Lady!...

And, yes, by all means, it should have an undercurrent of familiarity that make the Lawrence parents snicker. Well, those that have been around long enough to know the pop culture of it.

By the way, there used to be storm drains that would go through Old West Lawrence that my brothers knew all about. I remember taking my kids and nieces on a flashlight tour of one, too, for as far as we could go before we got scared. We were imagining we were solving a mystery and looking for clues. Great spooky fun.

I'm sure there's something around by way of oral history, if nothing else, that could be found about that system.

And also know that having a kitten in the house is like having a toddler in the house. If a kitten can climb it, the kitten shall; if it fits in the kitten's mouth, there it will go. Also, while a tiny kitten might figure out how to get up onto your bed to sleep at night, it may not have the independent spirit to get back down and go to the kitty litter when it needs to. Also, much like little kids, kittens should sometimes be escorted to the bathroom, because when they get busy they might forget to go until it's too late.

There's a myth that cats are independent pets, good for people who don't have time - while this may be true for some cats, it is not at all true for kittens.