Can’t get the kids to do their chores? Train the dog. On the new series “SuperFetch” (7 p.m. today, Animal Planet), pet trainer Zach George shows owners how to teach their old dogs very new tricks, and how both people and pets can bond in the process.

Over the course of the series, Zach will teach a dog how to take out the trash and show how another how to play video games. Along the way, he shows owners how to motivate their pets with food, play, affection and discipline.

• Combining two popular TV themes, the series “Celebrity Ghost Stories” (9 p.m. today, Biography) will spend nine weeks interviewing bold-faced names about their encounters with the paranormal. Folks from Joan Rivers and Morgan Fairchild to Carrie Fisher share campfire stories.

In the first episode, David Carradine grants one of his final interviews to discuss how his wife was haunted by the unhappy spirit of her ex. He also offers some thoughts about life after death.

• You can’t always judge a book by its cover, but when a book’s title or the name of a TV show means nothing — or everything — you’ve often got a story without a clear focus.

“Three Rivers” (8 p.m. Sunday, CBS) is a medical drama set in two different hospitals (both called Three Rivers) in two cities, Cleveland and Pittsburgh. Three rivers, two cities, three or four overlapping stories. Sometimes it just doesn’t add up.

Perhaps the most shocking aspect of this high-tech hospital drama is what it does not contain. After “Mercy” and “Trauma,” I was struck by the glaring absence of sex, gratuitous violence or soap-operatic hanky-panky. Don’t go looking for meltdowns, flashbacks, temper tantrums or diva behavior. This debut episode unfolds like the anti-“Grey’s Anatomy,” a medical drama that puts the emphasis on the medical.

• Here’s a title that gets right to the point. “My Monkey Baby” (8 p.m. Sunday, TLC) follows three couples from Midwestern states who have adopted small primates and treat them as infants — putting them in frilly dresses, talking to them and taking them to stores and restaurants.

This British production puts the emphasis on the eccentric, showing a grizzled farmer riding with a monkey on his lawn tractor and telling no one in particular, “Don’t dare call her a monkey. She’s my daughter!” Another woman consults an animal psychic (by phone) to determine whether her primate/child got into her medication. A trip to the toy store shows that these critters are more spoiled than many children.

• A “Seinfeld” reunion takes shape on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” (8 p.m. Sunday, HBO). After years of rejecting the notion as “lame,” Larry agrees to NBC’s entreaties when he sees it as a way to reconnect with his ex-wife (Cheryl Hines).

Cast members Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Richards reluctantly agree but seem puzzled by Larry’s motivations.

Tonight’s highlights

• Jean Claude Van Damme sends up his image and career in the 2008 autobiographic effort “JCVD” (8 p.m., Spike).

• Ryan Reynolds hosts “Saturday Night Live” (10:30 p.m., NBC), featuring musical guest Lady Gaga.

Sunday’s highlights

• Pittsburgh hosts San Diego on Sunday Night Football (7:15 p.m., NBC).

• Tales of status, shopping and salons unfold on “Dallas Divas & Daughters” (7 p.m., Style).