Tips for submitting strong college exams / LJWorld.com

Archive for Monday, November 9, 2009

By Lee Bierer

November 9, 2009

The “Why Us?” essay. Sounds simple enough; just tell them why you want to go there.

Here’s a fairly typical essay prompt: “Tell us why Big Blue U is a good fit for you.”

Student response: “I want to go to Big Blue U because you have a great basketball team (I have been following your guys since I was in diapers) and people tell me that I look awesome in blue!”

When I relate this essay anecdote, people often chuckle because they can’t imagine a student really submitting that, but students do and it’s because they don’t really think through the essay question or ask themselves what the college is really looking for in a response.

What’s right about the above response? It’s honest. To be honest, that’s about the only bright spot.

What’s wrong with the above response?

1) It doesn’t share any new insights into the applicant.

2) It doesn’t demonstrate that the applicant has done his homework or knows much about the school.

3) Its style is too casual. Language such as “you guys, awesome or cool” is too informal for a college essay. Being conversational usually works, but don’t forget this is a testament to your writing abilities.

Other do’s and don’ts:

• Don’t spit back statistics that colleges already know about themselves — trust me, college admissions officials know the number of majors and the clubs their school offers.

• Don’t tell them where the college is located. “Boston University is a great college because it is in the center of Boston.”

• Do ask yourself if every sentence presents new and valuable information that someone in admissions needs to know about you.

• Do explain why the college is a good fit for you.

• Do get personal and describe your academic interests and how they can be met at their college.

• Do talk about special programs or opportunities that are unique to that college: leadership seminars, study abroad options to Antarctica, internships positions in New Zealand, etc.

• Do the same for extracurricular activities — college radio stations, literary magazines, unusual intramural sports — and research the college Web site in-depth.

• Do share how you feel you are going to make a contribution to their campus — how will you enrich their college community?

• Explain the activities and interests from high school you intend to pursue in college.

Lee Bierer is an independent college adviser based in Charlotte, N.C.