Unfortunately, how most of us relate to our bodies is more Simon Cowell than Paula Abdul.

Rarely do we give ourselves a standing ovation, and more often than not we give ourselves standing put-downs.

In this country, our capacity for disliking our body is greater than ever and getting worse. The results of body dissatisfaction are poor emotional and physical health. We compensate for our dissatisfaction with extreme diets and exercise regimens, or use alcohol or drugs to bury our unhappiness. A recent Georgia State University study showed that there is an increased suicide risk among teens with body dissatisfaction even when at a healthy weight.

As a society, we are lost at sea when it comes to addressing issues related to food and body. For ourselves and our kids we have a very important job to show a healthy respect for our bodies.

As we move toward summer and the inevitable increase in the display of body parts, it is a good time to practice some new ways to relate to your body.

• Be realistic about your body. Look at your genetic blueprint. Focus on making the most of what you have, genetically speaking.

• See your body as a whole, not a collection of parts. See it as an instrument rather than an ornament. Focus on appreciating what your body can do, rather than what it looks like.

• Accept where you are today. Your body will not change much in a day, so make it the best today possible. Obsessing only drains your energy and takes away from the moment.

• Think of ways you can be more loving toward your body. Catch your negative self-talk and change it to something neutral or positive. Clean out your closet and only leave the things that fit. Don’t avoid doing things you enjoy due to a poor body image. It would be cruel to tell your child she can’t do something because she has gained weight. Why do that to yourself? Treat yourself with unconditional respect.

• Avoid the scale. Many of our clients determine the mood of their day by the number on the scale. If you are trying to lose weight, work with a nutritionist and have her monitor your progress without telling you the numbers.

• Don’t exercise just to lose weight. Find exercise that you enjoy. Movement is exercise!

• Avoid triggers that fuel obsession. Don’t talk about weight or food with friends. Be careful of the magazines you read that portray women as objects. Explore the Web site Dove.com to fuel a more positive body image.

• If you died tomorrow, what would you want your epitaph to say? It probably would not include how your body looked. You are valued for your inner qualities much more than outer ones.

• And last, but very important; DON’T COMPARE. What another person does with their food or body has no impact on you. Focus on being the best YOU rather than trying to be someone else. Focus on connecting, not competing.