If the recent cable spat between Jon Stewart and CNBC has taught us anything, it’s that making predictions is a risky business. With that in mind, this looks like as good a column as any for anticipating the order of eliminations on “Dancing with the Stars” (7 p.m., ABC).

I’m not a regular follower of the show and couldn’t tell a rumba from a cha cha. So that qualifies me as being as much an expert on “Dancing” as Rush Limbaugh is on American government.

Jon Stewart of “The Daily Show” (10 p.m., Comedy Central) began his funny and fake-vicious fight with business network CNBC, not because their correspondent Rick Santelli took the ludicrous position of being a put-upon “populist” and staged a “riot” of rich brokers, but because Santelli attacked homeowners nearing foreclosure and called them “losers.”

Stewart fired back, arguing with hilarious logic that CNBC pundits had no right to call victims of a bad economy “losers” when CNBC had offered so much terrible investing advice and even seemed to be cheerleading for the companies that brought about the market debacle. He rolled one clip after another showing CNBC talent, most notably Jim Cramer of “Mad Money” (5 p.m. and 10 p.m., CNBC), hawking stocks and predicting a real upside for outfits only days and weeks away from utter ruin. Cramer argued that Stewart was cherry-picking the evidence. But he and his network defenders completely missed the point. Stewart wasn’t lambasting CNBC for being wrong; he was after them for being arrogant. And there’s a big difference.

So while we’re on the subject of being wrong while being arrogant, here’s my predicted order for the eliminations from “Dancing With the Stars”: 1. Steve Wozniak; 2. Ty Murray; 3. Steve-O; 4. Lawrence Taylor; 5. Belinda Carlisle; 6. David Alan Grier; 7. Shawn Johnson; 8. Holly Madison; 9. Denise Richards; 10. Lil’ Kim; 11. Chuck Wicks; 12. Melissa Rycroft and finally, the winner, Gilles Marini.

So go ahead. Save this column and compare it to the real results. Taunt me for my mistakes. I’ll just respond like a talk show host. I’ll attack your expertise and question your motivations, and maybe label you an unpatriotic socialist. I may become a real pundit yet!

• I read in my local newspaper that three convenience-store owners were recently busted for selling beer to minors. So how come the high school students on “Gossip Girl” (7 p.m., CW) are always sitting at fancy hotel bars and pounding down cocktails while they pout? Should the cops raid the Pierre, or wherever they imbibe? On the other hand, who would think to card them? Most of the kids on “Gossip Girl” look at least 35.

Tonight’s other highlights

• “Chuck” (7 p.m., NBC) takes on the Black Widow.

• A frightened patient fears the predictions of a clairvoyant cat on “House” (7 p.m., Fox).

• Hiro flounders without powers on “Heroes” (8 p.m., NBC).

• With Jack deep undercover, the administration unravels on “24” (8 p.m., Fox).

• A flight attendant dies on duty on “CSI: Miami” (9 p.m., CBS).

• Joe’s gift of a used car triggers nightmares on “Medium” (9 p.m., NBC).

• “Death On a Factory Farm” (9 p.m., HBO) exposes the grim realities of industrial agriculture.

• A dealer’s death proves revealing in “Saving Grace” (9 p.m., TNT).

• The documentary “Speed Dreams” (9 p.m., Documentary Channel) examines advances in Formula One racing.