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Archive for Monday, March 2, 2009

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Wild cards: We turn to a Topeka psychic for advice on the struggling economy

Ruby gives a tarot reading to Journal-World staff writer Chad Lawhorn. He’s happy to learn he ought to be able to afford a new car in 2009. He doesn’t need one, but he’s glad to know there will be automakers still in business.

Ruby gives a tarot reading to Journal-World staff writer Chad Lawhorn. He’s happy to learn he ought to be able to afford a new car in 2009. He doesn’t need one, but he’s glad to know there will be automakers still in business.

March 2, 2009

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Ruby, of Ruby’s Readings, advises a wait-and-see approach on investments.

Ruby, of Ruby’s Readings, advises a wait-and-see approach on investments.

Ruby, of Ruby’s Readings, advises a wait-and-see approach on investments.

Ruby, of Ruby’s Readings, advises a wait-and-see approach on investments.

So, in one of those cutesy, decorative baskets in my bathroom — yes, I’m married — are about 15 unopened tubes of toothpaste.

This seems curious to me.

But then I realize the answer: Coupons. My wife has been on a coupon-clipping binge. Thus, I surmise, she has gotten some type of “deal” on toothpaste.

There’s much I could say to her at this moment. Such as, “Honey, I know it is a great price per tube, but do you really think it is a good idea that we just spent $30 on toothpaste?” Or perhaps something like this, “I’ve resorted to drinking three-year old Pabst Blue Ribbon beer that I found in our storm shelter, and you’re spending 30 DOLLARS ON TOOTHPASTE!!”

But I don’t say any of that. Because I’m a sensitive man.

Instead, I mainly just lay awake at night. What else is a man to do as this country goes through a financial crisis spurred by irrationality and that now begets irrationality?

Eventually — after the urging of a certain height-challenged editor, who will remain nameless — I realize there is only one rational thing I can do: Go to a psychic and see how this whole mess will turn out.

Yes, it took a lot of urging.

But I end up at Ruby’s Readings in a west Topeka duplex. Ruby (she doesn’t give her last name, and since I’m not clairvoyant, I can’t divine it) spreads out the Tarot cards on the breakfast table.

Here’s a sampling of the questions I sought answers to. I can only hope they provide comfort to other sleepless men:

l Should I invest in stocks, bonds, or ... thousands of those limited edition Barack Obama commemorative plates?

Ruby actually doesn’t suggest investing in any of those things. She advocates a wait-and-see approach on investments. Right now she sees the risks being too great on any investment. But here’s the good news: Many of her readings say that a recovery is in store for the spring or early summer.

“But definitely not the plates,” she said.

At this point, I wish I hadn’t spent my sleepless nights watching QVC.

l By the end of 2009, will I have enough money to buy a new car?

Ruby predicts I may not have enough cash to actually buy a new car outright, but yes, I would be able to afford a new car. This is good news, even though I have no intention of buying a new car. But it at least seems to indicate that in 2010 there still will be companies on the planet that make new cars.

l Will I still be employed by the end of 2009?

Ruby predicts yes, but says it might not be at my current job. That’s kind of scary. I like my current job. But it is the newspaper industry, and you’ve all been reading about its struggles. What? Oh, you haven’t read it. You saw it on YouTube. Ouch.

l Will my wife still be employed by the end of 2009?

Ruby again predicts yes. She said this question of future employment is one of the issues causing more people to seek readings. That and whether they will be able to keep their homes. She said she does about 20 readings per week — at about $35 for a half hour — for people from all walks of life.

l While on the subject of my wife, I have to ask this question: Should I be worried that she incessantly watches the cable television program “Snapped,” which profiles women who have killed their husbands?

Ruby says no. My wife is only interested in that program because she is an “observer” of the world.

But I have a follow-up question: What about the fact that she’s taking notes during the show?

Ruby laughs, but still says I should not worry.

Huh. I was even more sure about that than the Obama commemorative plate investment.

But what do I know? I’m no psychic.

Comments

Paul Decelles 6 years ago

Hello! is the ljworld turning into the National Enquirer? What's next: pyramid power?

skeptigamer 6 years ago

"People are often surprised to learn that Tarot cards were originally invented for playing games, that such games are still widespread and popular in continental Europe, and that the employment of tarots for divination and fortune-telling is a relatively recent perversion of their proper use, dating only from the eighteenth century."(The Penguin Encyclopedia of Card Games, by David Parlett) Instead of always giving these psychics free advertising space, why don't you report on how these cards were originally made for no other purpose than for playing a card game! It seems that every time the media does a tarot story it is always from the point of view of psychics. However, Americans are starting to learn the truth about tarot cards and how to play tarot card games but it seems that the mainstream media is slow to catch on. Your story should have mentioned that these psychics aren't the only ones who use tarot cards and that the tarot was not even intended for telling fortunes. The next time you do a tarot story, why not do it from a game players perspective for a change.

redmoonrising 6 years ago

I think he was just exploring different channels to add some humor to his life and ours. I have a crystal ball but it's just a pretty bauble that amuses me and keeps quiet.

cthulhu_4_president 6 years ago

In times of economic downturn, sales on herbal remadies, holistic therapies, and other various forms of quack semi-science goes through the roof from depserate people who can't afford real medical treatment.

It's only natural that the revenue of scum who lie about the universe for money would increase, too.

If psychic power is real, then there's only one headline I need to see to make me a believer : "psychic wins lottery". Until then, no deal.

Chris Ogle 6 years ago

Ruby, Ruby..... Am I productive??/
Ruby laughs, but still says I should not worry.

Confrontation 6 years ago

"It's only natural that the revenue of scum who lie about the universe for money would increase, too."

So, you're saying that religious leaders are getting more money, too?

cthulhu_4_president 6 years ago

lol @ confrontation. I suppose it depends on what religion you're talking about. I predict that interest and support for traditional denominations will decrease (by some unknown amount) as disgruntled parishoners seek other messages (and messangers) whose teachings are more uplifting in the current economy.

When the times get tough, the grass is always greener on the other side of the metaphysical fence.

Cait McKnelly 6 years ago

"Sex and religion are power plays Manipulate the people for the money they pay Selling skin, selling God The numbers look the same on their credit cards." (Queensryche, "Operation: Mindcrime", 1988)

Lee Saylor 6 years ago

So the psychic on Mass Street is not good enough, we have to to Topeka? What happened to shop local?

creamygnome 6 years ago

"I'm seeing something...it's getting clear now...I see me, eating more ice cream, watching more soaps, and putting on another 20 pounds."

jayhawks71 6 years ago

How absurd. Shame on you Journal-World.

viewfromahill 6 years ago

psychics and psyguys... that's where the little psychs come from

Strontius 6 years ago

Wow, did we all just find a story in which we all universally agree is crap on a stick?

jumpin_catfish 6 years ago

Play these numbers and you will win: 2 4 6 8 10 power ball 7. I can just feel it. ha ha ha ha ha ha

Alexander Neighbors 6 years ago

Yes mrs.cleo I do see a very large phone bill in my future

jonas_opines 6 years ago

If you don't listen to psycics, why would you listen to pundits? She can't be any less reliable than was Air America or the National Review.

HermioneElliott 5 years, 12 months ago

It was a very funny story and very well written. It is just the kind of thing we need when we start to feeling sour like old dirt in a cellar that needs to be turned. You did good, Chad!

aaabbbcccddd 5 years, 12 months ago

Ok everyone.....I'll start by stating that those who aren't smart enough to educate themselves on the subject really shouldn't speak, mock, and or voice opinions when you have no knowledge to base them on. You sound stupid.

I have had dozens of readings with Ruby and she is 100% correct in every reading. She has provided me with additional knowledge about meditations, how to rediscover my faith, and a lot of other resources that have helped me in my career and personal life. For those who have not had a psychic reading with Ruby...you are missing one of the best experiences of life.

Who doesn't want clarity of direction in life....who doesn't want to know if a path in life we are choosing is good or if something else would be better. Who doesn't want to know if the love of our life is already in it or is coming soon.

She has been in business for over 10 years, and is the most honest psychic I have ever been to. She shoots it to you straight. I think the writer of this story did an excellent job of finding a good reputable psychic to do the story. Just wish he would have been a better writere to do her justice.

FenixKS 5 years, 12 months ago

Honest psychic? Seriously? Clarity from a psychic? Come on! They are masters at reading people, not cards. They tell you what you want to hear and you feel better about yourself. Choosing a path? Try good ole fashioned gut instinct. Or, something called your conscience. Its so much easier, and less responsible, to let others tell us how to lead our lives. She's may be great at what she does, and is good for entertainment, but don't place your life choices in someone else's hands.

coolmom 5 years, 12 months ago

lets see what should i do ruby? lets wait and see....okay do you think my teens will make me crazy? the answer is likely.........wow she is awesome. seriously i did think it was a funny/cute story though.

HermioneElliott 5 years, 12 months ago

I think Chad is seriously mystified at the responses on here. Maybe he should have wrote at the top, "this article is a joke, not an advert for Ruby." You know, some eat, some drink, some read Harry Potter, some go to a psychic. Speaking which, anyone remember Professor Trelawney? Ha, ha! Ruby is fat and soft and needs to lose a few pounds and tone up. And, what is she wearing?

mcontrary 5 years, 12 months ago

A typical Kansan. Science is out, psychics are in.

spankyandcranky 5 years, 12 months ago

I found the article AND the comments (for a change) entertaining. Marion, it seems like you know everything -- do you? FenixKS, I agree, but I think the article was meant to be humorous. You might be taking it too seriously, but I don't think you're the only one.

FenixKS 5 years, 12 months ago

Actually Spank I was responding to aaabbbccc... I don't take anything too seriously.

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