LJWorld.com

Lock your doors, beware of strangers, park your car in well-lit parking lots.

From a young age, women are given messages about how to stay safe and protect themselves.

However, the reality is that in most cases survivors of sexual assaults know their attacker. The person comes into the home invited, and the attack is carried out by physical force alone.

It’s a fact that should have sexual assault prevention education expand from stranger-danger warnings to one that addresses the way we communicate, said Annie McKay, who works with sexual violence prevention services at Kansas University.

As part of the talks she gives on prevention, McKay discusses the need for students in intimate settings to verbalize what their wants and boundaries are to avoid ending up in compromising situations.

While a lack of communication is never an excuse for someone to invade another person’s boundaries, Kathy Rose-Mockry, program director for the Emily Taylor Women’s Resource Center, adds that students arrive on campus with many mixed messages.

“Students are making decisions that are new,” she said.

McKay believes that bystanders — both male and female — have a role to play when it comes to prevention. They should speak up when jokes, stories or comments are made that perpetuate sexual violence, she said.

“We know the majority of men don’t rape women,” McKay said. “By pooling everyone in from the community, we all have a role here in preventing it.”

Many professionals who deal with sexual assaults in Lawrence, said alcohol is often prevalent in acquaintance rape situations.

Amy McGowan, a chief assistant Douglas County district attorney, said it might be a good idea for friends to keep tabs on one another, especially if drinking is involved.

In many of the cases that cross her desk, assaults happen when groups split up and one person finds herself alone with the attacker.

If the attacker is an acquaintance, KU clinical psychology professor Charlene Muehlenhard said, one way that might keep the assailant at bay is to name the action as rape.

In one study, she found that 100 percent of men who were identified as being sexually aggressive indicated in a survey they would stop if the victim said “this is rape and I’m calling the cops.” Although it could be a different story in reality, it is something women could try.

She also recommends taking a self-defense course. Don and Susan Booth, owners of Premier Marital Arts, teach classes to groups throughout the city. Their advice is don’t be afraid to yell, when defending yourself strike vulnerable areas, such as the groin or face, and do whatever you can to stay at the primary scene of the attack. Victims have less of a chance to survive once they are taken from the public place where they were abducted.

Professionals also encourage people not to live in fear.

“We don’t advocate closing yourself off in order to prevent sexual assaults,” Rose-Mockry said. “Using the fear factor implies if you do all the right things you are not vulnerable.”