LJWorld.com

Even if you weren’t at Wrigley Field that day in May, you may have heard actor Denise Richards’ attempt to lead the 7th-inning stretch sing-along.

The syllables — we won’t call them “notes” — lurched out of the stadium, stopping old ladies and scaring small children. An ambulance siren was shocked into silence at hearing a noise more annoying than itself.

A passing legislator vowed to restore full funding to public-school music education.

One of the latest to butcher “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at Wrigley, Illinois’ ground zero for bad vocal performance, Richards took a lot of guff afterward on talk shows and such.

But a whole lot of us — the bad singers, the scared singers, the amateur-division lip syncers of the world — were secretly sympathetic. There, we thought, but for the grace of not being famous and fetching and in town promoting some project or another go I.

And we got to wondering: What should non-singers do when we find ourselves in situations where singing is called for, whether at church, a karaoke bar or, indeed, in the crowd at Wrigley?

So we consulted a panel of experts to give their advice for singing in various situations. Our panel includes:

• Robbie Fulks: Witty singer/songwriter and commanding stage performer with passionate following in Chicago and across the country. His CDs include “Georgia Hard,” “Revenge,” and “Couples in Trouble.”

• Robert Harris: Baritone, director of choral organizations at Northwestern University, composer of choral music and winner of university teaching awards.

• Michael Melton: Tenor, director of choral activities at Northeastern Illinois University, former member and soloist with the Grant Park Symphony Chorus and the Chicago Symphony Chorus.

• Brooke Tippett Thompson: Mezzo-soprano, voice teacher, music director at Edgewater Presbyterian Church, winner of a 2008 Illinois Golden Apple award as music teacher at Peirce School in Andersonville, Ill.

• Barbara Silverman: Teacher of four vocal classes at Old Town School of Folk Music; has performed with Emmylou Harris and on “A Prairie Home Companion”; has CDs including “Carry Me Home” and “Rolling Along.”

At a ball game, singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”

Fulks: “If you’re a bad singer and singing in a group situation, I don’t think you need to worry at all. I think, musically, a thickness of tone is a good thing to achieve in the crowd.”

Silverman: “Anything goes. Maybe full volume on ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game,’ 7 out of 10 on the National Anthem.”

Harris: “That’s more of a social thing of joining in. At Wrigley Field there are people there who don’t even appreciate the game. I don’t think some of those people would care how you sing. Enjoy.”

Melton: “Have another beer, and who cares. I think if you’re in the crowd, knock yourself out and have a good time and what comes out, comes out. You’re just trying to contribute to the general celebratory atmosphere.”

Thompson: “Sing. Go ahead. For goodness’ sake, it’s the ballgame. It’s not Carnegie Hall.”

In an announcer’s booth, singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”

Thompson: “It’s up to you to turn it down if you know you’re not a great singer. If you don’t care and you want to do this gig, well, they get what they asked for. You could find someone to help.”

Melton: “Sharing the credit or the blame, that’s always a good thing. When it comes to having kids, kids are never wrong. That’s a really good solution. But do what you can to prepare and mostly, again, it’s about pitch. If you’re out of tune, if you don’t have the prettiest voice, all that stuff is forgivable if the pitch is right.”

Harris: “Get with a pianist or somebody and practice ahead of time. (On game day) really, really listen to the organ because the organ’s going to keep you on pitch. With all singers, it’s more a matter of listening than it is singing.”

At a karaoke bar

Fulks: “I love karaoke singing. I hear a lot of bad ’professional style’ singing — a little too over-practiced in front of the mirror. If I was a bad singer, I’d hit all the karaoke spots and enliven them.”

Melton: “That’s a tougher question. Now you’re singing popular songs most people know. You’re the only one singing. Latch onto a friend who’s a better singer than you are and follow along.” And pick a song that fits: “So many karaoke songs are in keys that don’t work for people’s voices.”

Thompson: “If you don’t want to sing, be sick. If you’re not comfortable singing, no one should make you sing. All of this could really be fixed if they’d just fund music in the schools.”

Silverman: “Keep the pace moving along. Use gestures and hand motions. Unless you’re singing with a group and you just can’t sing very well, you have to exude confidence. Look at somebody you know and just converse with them and make it sound musical.”

In the congregation at church

Thompson: “You’re in church to be connected. It’s certainly not about a performance. You walk into that church, it’s between you and whatever higher power. If you would like to raise your voice, you have that right and nobody should make you feel bad about that.”

Fulks: “I really think you should just let out with what you’ve got. Damn the torpedoes. Why should anybody even be concerned about how you sound?”

Silverman: “Church is different from the crowd at Wrigley. In church you want to try to blend in with somebody who’s got a good voice. Match their tones if you can.”

Melton: “When I was growing up, they used to say, ‘If you’re singing for God, it doesn’t matter if you’re good.’ And yet, we heard some pretty awful sounds in places. My church advice is to sing along in a way that’s comfortable for you. And if that means transposing an octave, then you do what you have to do.”

Harris: “Again, it’s a matter of listening more carefully to the people around you that are able to sing and matching the organ or the piano. We often tell even people who are actually musical that their ear is their greatest asset.”

At a campfire sing-along

Melton: “I’d just join in when I’m comfortable. If it’s ‘Hey Jude,’ and the ‘na-na-na-na’ part comes along, it doesn’t matter. If somebody with a really good voice is singing ‘Yesterday,’ I’m going to back off and listen.”

Harris: “That’s just a social activity, and just have fun. I don’t think it’s that important as to how accurate you are.”

Fulks: “Maybe I’m contradicting myself, but in that situation, I would be silent if I were a bad singer.” Join in on choruses? “‘All You Need is Love,’ yes. ‘Eight Days a Week,’ no. All that stuff’s so on key. That’s why I like to sing folk songs.”

Silverman: “Around the campfire, anything goes. You just sing. If some people don’t accept the way you sound, you shouldn’t be camping with them anyway.”

Thompson: “Sing if you feel like it. If it puts a damper on everyone else’s night, you’ve got to have some self-control.”

In your car, alone

Melton: “That’s like singing in the shower. That’s where I do my best work. But having the windows open while that’s going on ought to be some kind of a violation.”

Harris: “Just have a ball. You may be singing along with the Beatles, but the Beatles don’t hear you.”

Thompson: “Sing away. But only if you can do it and drive safely. And no closing your eyes on the high notes.”

Fulks: “In that case, you have to be exactly perfect.”