What a battle Saturday! Did you see it? A highly anticipated duel, full of high drama, with athleticism at its finest and a major championship at stake.

Serena Williams against Venus Williams for the Wimbledon women’s title? Well, that, too, I suppose. Now that you mention it.

But I meant rival gastronomical legends Joey Chestnut against Takeru Kobayashi for the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Championship on Coney Island.

You know competitive eating is a dangerous sport because the contestants don’t have coaches in their corners. They have cardiologists.

Manny Ramirez has returned from his 50-game suspension. Geez, I know it’s a big deal for the Dodgers and all. But a nationwide fireworks celebration?

Didn’t do any good, but soccer star David Beckham, from the Royal Box at Wimbledon, sent a good-luck note to Andy Murray on Friday. Beckham is a big tennis fan when not busy failing to lift the stature of Major League Soccer.

Back from retirement, Lance Armstrong is gunning for his eighth Tour de France title and first since 2005 but is said to be under a “doping watch.” What’s happening is, he is being continually and closely tailed by a bike pedaled by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

The Marlins’ official groundbreaking for the new stadium is July 18, and the club is holding an essay contest for children ages 6-12, with the winner’s family getting a VIP invitation. So c’mon overbearing, cheating parents, let’s get started writing those essays for your kids!

Former NFL coach Dennis Green predicted on Sirius national radio that Vick would end up with the Dolphins. I’ll take that bet, Denny.

Have you heard the rumor? A-Rod is going on a crash diet so at least he can say he’s hitting his weight.

After upsetting Spain and then losing to Brazil in the FIFA Confederations Cup final last week, the United States moved up two spots in the latest world soccer rankings. “We’re No. 12! We’re No. 12!”

Danica Patrick is considering switching next year to NASCAR, where she can become a star attraction known for being immensely popular and not winning races, just like Dale Earnhardt Jr!

The California man who recently stole Armstrong’s bike got a three-year prison sentence. Tough break. Had the poor guy been guilty of DUI manslaughter, he might have gotten only 30 days.

The Senate plans to investigate the Bowl Championship Series. Because evidently all of the country’s other problems are completely solved.

A swarm of bees interrupted a Padres-Astros game. There was no immediate comment from Aunt Bea.

Roger Clemens said he was considering writing a book to tell his side of the steroids dispute with his former trainer. There is a word for that type of book. I believe the word is “fiction.”

Kyle Orton was named Denver’s starting quarterback as Broncos fans rallied as one in agreement that it wasn’t very good news.

North Carolina basketball coach Roy Williams has an autobiography out in November called, “Hard Work: My Life On and Off the Court.” I just hope the book is half as exciting as the title!