Free State senior Scott Olcott pictured with girlfriend Taylor Stephens, a junior at Free State.

Taylor Stephens and Scott Olcott play Rock Band after school at Scott’s house.

It’s a far cry from the days of getting pinned and wearing letterman jackets, but today’s teenagers are putting their own mark on the world of dating.

In fact, they don’t really call it dating. Teenagers today hang out or are going out. And they all have different definitions of “dating.”

Some say dating is being able to go out on the town with different people. Some say “dating” is exclusive. Others say a date means you’re in a full-fledged relationship. Sometimes all it takes is a text or Facebook message to spark the interest. In fact, dating isn’t really called dating anymore, and the definition is loosely written.

It’s a far cry from the days of going steady.

“I think dating then, it was like a planned thing. There were all these rules to it,” says Lawrence High senior Amanda Sims. “And now, there’s no black and white. It’s all gray. You never really know where you stand with a guy in a relationship until you sit him down.”

But some teens think it’s just like the movies.

“People go out, sometimes flirt for a while,” says Free State sophomore Ethan Fisher. “Generally the guy asks the girl out on a date, and then it develops from there.”

Most high-schoolers note that the physical aspect of dating moves much faster than in days gone by.

“Social burdens have just been lifted over the past 50 years,” says Free State senior Scott Olcott. “It’s different because so many things that used to be taboo aren’t anymore.”

Olcott’s girlfriend, Taylor Stephens, says the first date carries some major pressure.

“A kiss on the first date is kind of expected,” she says. “It’s just one of the things you do.”

Free State junior Leyonna Smith thinks teen dating habits play a part in the high divorce rate.

“Our parents and grandparents stay together longer because they had more of a time to build their relationship,” she says.

Out and about

So what happens when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Olcott has been dating Stephens, a Free State junior, on and off for the past year. It began with solo dates, and then it turned serious.

“I ended up saying, ‘Just shut up and ask me out.’ That’s how that happened,” Stephens says.

The two double-date with friends, but they don’t always paint the town red. While Olcott says a standard date to him is dinner and a movie, money — or lack thereof — plays a part in what they do together.

“Most of the time we’ll stay in, and sometimes one of us will cook dinner or we will just rent a movie and get takeout,” Stephens says.

It’s really not about what you do, but that you are with the one you like.

“I think a good relationship is where you guys can just hang out and chill,” says Free State junior Brittany Payne

Sims and her boyfriend have been together for the past two years. While they usually hang out with friends to kick of their weekends, they make sure to take time together.

“We like to have our alone time before the night is over,” she says.

But what about the parental aspect?

It seems they don’t need to know everything about their teen’s love life. Lawrence High senior Katherine Cottrell says word choice changes when teens talk to their parents about dating.

“‘Hanging out’ is what you tell your parents you’re doing,” she says.

Luke McDaneld, a Lawrence High junior, says parental involvement is really dependent on the attitude of the adults.

“Depending on what kind of parents you have, they can play a role in what goes on,” he says. “It’s also part of how you are raised.”

As defined on Facebook

A lot of external influences have changed dating. Cell phones, Facebook and the Internet as a whole has really put teenagers’ lives out in the public sphere.

“You can tell weeks before somebody starts going out because you can see if somebody writes on their wall a lot,” says Cottrell.

Both she and Sims agree a relationship isn’t official unless it’s clearly documented on Facebook. But the technological advancements have also downplayed the personal, face-to-face part of dating.

“Relationships are defined fairly loosely, throughout even a text message or Facebook,” says McDaneld. “I’ve known people that have been dating and they barely see each other.”

McDaneld also thinks that the 1950s probably weren’t as proper and chaste as they seem, but people just didn’t talk about it and they didn’t have quick forms of communication to spread gossip.

“I just think word of mouth is impressive in the digital age,” he says. “You can spread the city in an instant.”

What is dating to today’s teenager? It seems even they don’t even know how to put it into words. But it simply boils down to that tingly feeling when you lock eyes with that cute person across the cafeteria or classroom.

“It’s a time when you feel like you really like somebody and you’re in high school and you don’t really know but you want to go out,” says Payne.

Just make sure it’s on Facebook, and you’ve got yourself a relationship.