With almost 12 years of parenting under my belt, I feel like I have a good routine (most days, anyway). I’m here to tell you new moms out there: You can work and raise healthy, happy children.

Some things I’ve learned:

• Find a job you love. I know, easier said than done in this lousy economy. Leaving Junior for nine or 10 hours a day is tough; it’s even tougher if you’re leaving him for a job you hate. And if you hate your job, you run the risk of being a clock-watcher, which won’t please the boss. You’ve heard the saying, “If mamma’s not happy, nobody’s happy.” If you go home and complain about how much you hate your job, your children are going to pick up on that, and they’ll resent your job, too.

• Have a backup plan to your backup plan. Plans fall apart, especially child-care arrangements. If your kid is in day care, find a sitter who can be available on short notice if your child gets sick. Make sure you and your partner have talked about who goes home if your backup plans fall through. Talk to your boss ahead of time to see if working from home in a rare emergency is an option. Word of warning: Don’t suggest this if you have a child under 4 or 5 and especially an infant. There is no “working” from home when you’re caring for a child that young. However, if you have the type of job in which you can catch up on work after the little one goes to bed, that might work.

• Get your partner involved from Day 1. Don’t be a mommy martyr. Daddy can, and should, pack lunches, make doctors’ appointments and plan for child care just as well as you can. But once you take over all those jobs, you’re going to be stuck doing them for the next 18 years. Trust me on this. It’s too late for me — save yourself!

• Give up on perfection and the illusion that you’re in control. Would you rather have a spotless house or an extra hour playing with your child? Go for the kid time. Set priorities every day, and give up what’s truly not important. So you spent hours making homemade cupcakes for the class party, and then your kindergartner accidentally knocked them over? Get over it and move on.

• Don’t forget your girlfriends. For a decade, I rarely did any socializing that didn’t include my son. I think a lot of working moms feel guilty about the time they’re missing with their children because of work, so they give up everything else, including that essential time for themselves. No, you won’t go bar-hopping every weekend after you become a parent, but lunch with your best friend every once in a while won’t permanently scar your child. And it shows him that your needs are important, too.