Wes: If I had to return to one point in my adolescence, I’d pick the summer after my senior year. The worries of high school lay behind me, and the promise of a whole new life of freedom, adulthood and college life were just beyond the horizon: new experiences; new ideas; new girls. All that stood between the Promised Land and me was the summer of ’81. Fortunately, I recall it fondly. When it ended, I dropped my best friend and his motorcycle off at Kansas University before heading to my own college. Leaving Lawrence for the first time, I still remember a distinct and unexpected sense of loss. That summer made for a poignant closing chapter of my high school years. It was my own “American Graffiti.”

I’d like to wish all our seniors such a summer. Unfortunately, I see many young people and families for whom this bridge to adulthood appears to be booby-trapped. In my view the essential problem lies in purposelessness. Teens who just hang out over the summer tend to find a full Lawrence smorgasbord of trouble to get into, which is greatly enhanced with the newfound freedom of emancipation. Newly minted adults often demand new privileges by pointing out that in a few short months they will be able to do “whatever they want.” Parents offer an equally emotional “not while you’re living under my roof,” and the entire situation escalates into one irrational threat to move out against another threat to be thrown out.

Most families spend so much time figuring out what their senior plans to do in the fall they forget just how long the 12 weeks between graduation and freshman orientation can be. Now is the time for those families to sit down and have a serious conversation about how things will change over the summer — and how they will not. Parents should try and curb excess expectations (e.g., kids coming and going as they please, open underage drinking, etc.) while trying to avoid making demands that will only pressure teens toward unnecessary conflict and premature flight. Likewise, teens need to step back and pick their battles wisely. This is a terrible economy in which to alienate parents, and threatening to move out if one isn’t allowed to stay up all night is both a sign of immaturity and a strategic blunder. Without a co-signer and a sublease, it’s also a legal impossibility. Issues like curfew, chores, work expectations and staying over at the homes of others all need to be worked out BEFORE they hit a crescendo in the last week of May.

Personally, I’m a big fan of travel for graduating seniors. Though the economy makes it harder, gas prices are down, and young people can really benefit from teaming up with responsible friends and taking a road trip around America. While this may frighten some parents, most kids have far greater options for trouble in their familiar surroundings than on the beach in San Diego. I’ve known several kids who road-tripped during the bridge summer (including me), and all have enjoyed themselves and learned a lot. It’s also inexpensive to fly to Chicago, Dallas, Denver and even Florida and Washington, DC. With proper planning, these experiences can make the summer more valuable. I met a young man once who wanted to do survival camping for a month in the mountains and others who’ve shoved off for Europe. The goal is to find something that is relevant to the teen and to then use the summer to live out that dream.

Too often the bridge summer becomes a lost summer of partying, bad relationships and poor planning jumbled into a big nasty blur. Give some thought to summer 2009 and help teenagers create memories that will do justice to their last days of adolescence.

Kelly: A defining moment in our lives is when we’re able to walk across the stage at our high school graduation and get our diploma, realizing that all our hard work has finally paid off. However, the transition from a graduated senior to a worry-free summer can be a difficult one. Although I anxiously await that day in May, this week’s column topic has given me a perfect time to reflect on my goals for the summer.

Although some of us may be tired of 12 years of consecutive education, we should take time off to really find ourselves. During this time, however, kids tend to abuse the long-anticipated hiatus. Some fill the hourless days with too much slacking and loss of motivation that’s hard to recover in the fall. Then there are those who have set goals and really want to strive for the top. We remain determined, assertive and competent. We see what we want and aren’t afraid to take risks to get it.

I know in this chaotic teenager world, it’s hard to find our own personal niche. And if we can’t, it can be discouraging. One thing I wish that teenagers would consider is to begin specializing early. If there is something you really feel passionate about, or you have been working at, go for it. Don’t be limited by your own personal mental roadblock.

If you find yourself with a blank schedule during your summer, then start filling in the calendar with activities you can do for yourself or your community. Our town needs numerous volunteers. Consider tutoring younger children, or volunteering at your local church or hospital. If that isn’t your thing, focus on goals that can really give you a boost. If you like writing, then write. If you want to learn a foreign language, then buy the books or take the classes. Don’t limit yourself to laziness. Strive for the best, and don’t give up.

Whichever path you take during your summer, be sure its one that’s most beneficial either to you as individual or your whole community.

Next week: A reader wonders why marijuana gets so much bad press.

— Dr. Wes Crenshaw is a board-certified family psychologist and director of the Family Therapy Institute Midwest. Kelly Kelin is a senior at Free State High School. Opinions and advice given here are not meant as a substitute for psychological evaluation or therapy services. Send your questions about adolescent issues (limited to 200 words) to doubletake@ljworld.com. All correspondence is strictly confidential.