Boys will be boys, coaches will be coaches, and the Raiders will inevitably and interminably be all screwed up.
They don’t want to be screwed up. They don’t want to fight among themselves (though they’re addicted to fighting everybody else).
They don’t want to keep reproducing the definition of a losing atmosphere, filled with the defeated, the paranoid, the over-promoted and the frantically pugilistic.
But here they are, assaulting each other once again and on their way to many more losses once again. It’s the Raiders way these days.
If you heard an unnamed head coach for an NFL team had cold-cocked an assistant hard enough for a hospital visit and police report, would you guess anybody else except Tom Cable and the Raiders?
Of course not.
We don’t know the full details of the early-August incident at the Napa Valley Marriott that possibly fractured defensive assistant Randy Hanson’s jaw.
There’s a police report, we know, that mentions a victim, identified by several reports as Hanson, and the victim’s statement that he was punched by a fellow coach.
The victim also did not want to name the coach or press charges, according to the police report.
And we know that Fanhouse’s Nancy Gay reported that the punch was from Cable, that it was apparently a blindside punch.
ESPN’s Mark Schlereth reported Monday night that Cable told him “nothing happened” between him and Hanson. So believe whom you want to believe — somebody pounded Hanson’s jaw, and it was somebody Hanson did not want to be prosecuted.
If it was Cable, we don’t know what set him off, if he apologized to Hanson, if Hanson had done something wrong or if there will be a criminal prosecution of Cable.
We know several players made light of the incident by chanting “Cable, bumaye” during pre-practice stretches, harkening to the crowd chant for Muhammad Ali before his fight in Zaire against George Foreman.
Loosely translated: “Cable, kill him.”
We know that Cable is known around coaching circles as a free spirit, which is not uncommon for longtime offensive-line coaches. And we know that a bit of NFL intra-staff scuffling is acceptable as long as it does not involve the police or the head coach.
But Cable is the head coach. He’s only a head coach because Al Davis couldn’t get anybody else to take the job, of course; nevertheless, Cable has the job.
Even if he isn’t acting like he has the job. Maybe that was part of the argument? Maybe they’re all so far over their heads that nobody is sure what Al wants them to do these days, so it’s a free-for-all?
You know, boys will be boys. And the Raiders will always be messed up.
We know that Cable refused to discuss his new UFC tactics after practice in Napa on Monday, saying three times that it was “an internal matter.”
We know that New England, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh and every other team that has succeeded in the past six seasons somehow manages to keep the head coach from pummeling smaller assistants into a pulp.