LJWorld.com

I know thousands of you must have had a World Series with the Cubs on your Bucket List - things to see before you croak.

Sorry, my friends. It doesn't matter how much lipstick you put on this goat.

Your Cubs are still baaaaad.

Wednesday was the 63rd anniversary of the last World Series game won by the Cubs, for those of you at the assisted-living center in your "Party Like It's 1945" shirts and funny hats.

Tradition matters. But don't you worry, if Mark Cuban does buy the Cubs, he will make sure they continue to be total losers in the very same way his basketball team is.

As for the White Sox, well, our Soxxies had an occurrence of their own. They were folded and put away neatly by Tampa Bay, a team with a proud baseball tradition that dates back weeks.

Our side has Ken Griffey Jr., Paul Konerko and Jim Thome but we can't beat a team whose biggest star is Evan "Don't Call Me Eva" Longoria?

I guess somebody had to be the first franchise to lose to Tampa Bay in a playoff. It's a little like becoming the first Democrat or Republican to lose a presidential election to the Green Party.

Chicago won both Central divisions - nice season.

Chicago also went 1-6 in the division playoffs - nice postseason. (Not.)

At least we were spared a World Series wager between our governor and our mayor. I spoke with Rod Blagojevich recently and proposed that he put $100 on his Cubs, but later I remembered that no one in any form of government has $100.

Oh, well. I bet this will teach Ryan Dempster not to predict anything in spring training from now on, including that the Cubs will win an October game in the rest of his lifetime.

My own prediction is that Alfonso Soriano will make it to the 2009 playoffs and even hit the ball. Here are a few other views of the hardball that our scrappy, happy boys of summer (but not fall) played in '08:

Please quit talking about what a great job Lou Piniella has done. Nobody hired him to win a division.

Why would you give Piniella a rich contract extension when (a) he has been a much bigger October flop here than Dusty Baker was; (b) no other team is bidding for him; and (c) a new owner (who might like to pick his own manager) now gets stuck with Piniella's tab?

Next season's T-shirts should read: "I Love Lou But He Owes Us Two."

I wouldn't be a Cub at the next Cubs Convention if you gave me 10 percent of Soriano's pay.

Steve Stone will bring something new to the White Sox's TV booth-a broadcaster who calls players by their last names.

Most of the Sox are so slow, I doubt if they could score from second base on a triple.

Ozzie Guillen needs to address the fact he has the game's worst bunters and baserunners over the age of 12.

I plan to place a call to the official scorer to say that anybody who decides to keep Orlando Cabrera should be charged with an error.

If the Tampa Bay Rays win a World Series a few years after the Arizona Diamondbacks did, I feel it is only fair that the North Side of Chicago be permitted to apply to Major League Baseball for an expansion team.