You'd think something called The Fine Living Network would teach you how to hold your salad fork or how to set a formal table. But their series "Wedding SOS" (8 p.m., FLN) doesn't so much instruct as confirm some very bad habits.
Like far too many shows, "SOS" features a woman with a British accent (Jane Dayus Hinch) who is counted on to solve every problem. She has an assistant, apparently gay, who handles the fashion decisions she can't. He says "fabulous" a lot.
In an episode made available for review, Jane helps a couple who want a really nice wedding but haven't done much work. And they've got 10 days to go. To make matters worse, the bride has gotten a little chunky since she bought her gown, and her mother purchased a dreadful outfit from a catalog (seemingly in the dark), and her estranged father refuses to RSVP.
We know Jane will rise to the occasion and smooth every wrinkle in roughly 22 minutes. But a rising voice within me kept asking, "Why?" If Jane really wanted to help these people, she'd hold up a harsh mirror to their laziness, their undisciplined habits and their passive-aggressive family dynamics - not to mention their obesity.
I wanted to see Jane get angry and tell the weeping bride, "Get off your ever-widening posterior and plan your own wedding!" Now that would be great reality television. Instead, she sprinkled fairy dust, worked like a demon and even served as the mistress of ceremony at their wedding.
The couple will probably have lazy kids, let them run amok and then call on "Supernanny" to step up to the plate.
¢ Can Disney duplicate the success of "High School Musical" with something called "Camp Rock" (7 p.m., Disney)? Demi Lovato stars as a teen attending a camp for musical prodigies, where she meets a musical star who has lost his passion for singing. The setting and the story offer a backdrop for plenty of dancing and singing. Disney is so confident its audience will love it that they released the "Camp Rock" soundtrack CD three days ago.
¢ Cameron Mathison and Sherri Shepherd host the 35th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards (7 p.m., ABC), a celebration of soaps, talk fests and game shows. Confident that the awards will draw an audience of soap opera fans, ABC will follow the Emmys with a network showcase of "MVP" (9 p.m., ABC), the Soapnet melodrama set in the world of professional hockey.
Tonight's other highlights
¢ Two jokers (Steve Zahn and Paul Walker) discover the dark side of the CB radio subculture in the 2001 thriller "Joy Ride" (6 p.m., FX).
¢ Director Tim Burton remade "Planet of the Apes" (7 p.m., Fox) in 2001. I'm still wondering why.
¢ Candidates (Henry Fonda and Cliff Robertson) vie for their party's nomination and are willing to dive into the gutter to get it in the 1964 drama "The Best Man" (7 p.m., TCM), adapted from a Broadway play written by Gore Vidal.
¢ On two episodes of "Numb3rs" (CBS), a possible vigilante (8 p.m.), fears of an army of Manchurian candidates (9 p.m.).
¢ "True Hollywood Story" (8 p.m., E!) profiles actress Charlize Theron.