LJWorld.com

The most common sentence spoken in Hollywood circles usually ends with " ... but what I really want to do is direct."

For the Internet generation, the cinematic aspiration to be a director has taken a back seat to being an editor.

The miracle of cheap software coupled with a wicked sense of humor has allowed armchair editors to put their own spin on classic films ... and sometimes not-so-classic ones. Currently, the Web is bloated with examples of re-editing movies to create trailers that promise something entirely skewed.

Take "Sleepless in Seattle," for instance.

The 1993 Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan vehicle is generally regarded as the nadir of the romantic comedy "chick flicks." But to view a new trailer for the film, you'd never know it.

"There's a lot of desperate women out there looking for love" a voice-over warns in "Sleepless in Seattle - The Thriller." And in this version, editing makes the peppy project look like "Fatal Attraction" meets "Ransom."

Flash frames and thunderous notes on the soundtrack add ominous violence to scenes that previously didn't feature any, culminating in Hanks frantically screaming his son's name "Jonah!"

These "recuts" work both ways.

In an infamous version of Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining," a fresh edit turns the menacing horror film into a wholesome family drama.

"Meet Jack Torrance," the faux narration begins. "He's a writer looking for inspiration. Meet Danny. He's a kid looking for a dad."

How the piece transforms every freaky aspect into an adorable moment (Danny's talking finger, for example) is genius. And when the Peter Gabriel song "Solsbury Hill" pops onto the soundtrack, it points out just how formulaic the trailers it is parodying have become.

The title of this version? Simply "Shining."

These are just a fragment of the recuts available in cyberspace. Other standouts include "Scary Mary," which makes the footage from the children's musical "Mary Poppins" look like "The Exorcist." (Come to think of it, the original film is already pretty creepy.) Similarly, there's a "Toy Story" version where Buzz Lightyear and Woody come across as friendly as Chucky from "Child's Play."

But the concept is expanding in other ways. A recent posting utilizes the visuals from a "Shrek" sequel but incorporates the dialogue from "300."

"Before this battle is over," Shrek declares as he sits under a tree with Prince Charming, "the world will know that few stood against many."