LJWorld.com

Bonnie Ashley has grouped together all seven of her ex-husbands. The Bethany Beach, Del., resident scanned their images on a sheet of paper that she often shows folks eager to know how she managed to get married and divorced 11 times - tying and severing the knot with two of the men three times each - and why the unions lasted anywhere from 45 days to just under five years.

To hear the author of the self-published book "Ex-Husband in Freezer" describe each man is to know that she can really pick 'em.

Her marriage to husband No. 1, she says as she pointed to the man in the upper left-hand corner, was doomed to fail. She only married him to leave the home of her father, a dictatorial, domineering minister.

Husband No. 2 was a terrific companion but had weird ways about him; sexually, he would do unspeakable things but was virtually uninterested in intimacy with his wife. She married and divorced him three times, going through bouts of nonfulfillment with him and loneliness without him before giving up on hopes that he would change.

Husband No. 3? A consummate womanizer.

No. 4 had a volatile temper; Ashley left him after he threatened her.

She left No. 5 after finding nude photos of him and another man.

No. 6 was a minister with an uncontrollable pornography addiction.

And No. 7 (whom she also married three times) was good for passion and intimacy but little else.

And those are just the guys Ashley married. It says nothing about the affair she had for about the first 10 years of her marriages with the man she wanted to be with all along.

"After being surrounded as a child and teenager by males who were always telling me what to do and when to do it," she writes, "I felt the need to have one around me at all times."

Meet the woman whose marital history is probably enough to make oft-married actors utter, "Whoa!"

Ashley, 53, is a Salisbury, Md.-born real estate agent with a warm smile, free spirit, charming demeanor and a woeful penchant for hooking up with the wrong guy.

She's also one of the most sought-after guests on the talk-radio and television circuit, delighting listeners across the U.S. and Canada about a marital life that began with her first marriage in 1974 and ended with her last divorce two years ago.

Since her book "Ex-Husband in Freezer" was released in February, Ashley has done more than two dozen radio and television appearances. She'll be featured in a magazine in the United Kingdom. Two film producers have purchased her book. She says she's in talks with one about bringing her story to the big screen.

Trying on shoes

Ashley's stroke of marital misfortunes brings to mind celebrities known for their multiple spouses, including bandleader Artie Shaw (married and divorced eight times), actress and socialite Zsa Zsa Gabor (nine marriages, seven divorces and an annulment), actresses Elizabeth Taylor (eight marriages, seven divorces) and Lana Turner (eight marriages, including one with Shaw, and seven divorces).

Yet it's not surprising that Ashley had to self-publish her story. Her compelling, often salacious page turner was released at a time when publishing companies have been much maligned for taking on high-profile autobiographies and memoirs that turned out to be fictional.

Colorado-based self-publishing company Outskirts Press agreed to help Ashley get her book to print, and they honored her agreement she made with a few of her ex-husbands (including one who edited the manuscript) and family that none of their real names would be used.

When reporters have asked her of proof that she's been married and divorced 11 times, she produces a plethora of legal documents: marriage license applications, licenses and divorce papers.

Ashley, who said she doesn't receive alimony from any of her husbands, is enjoying the newfound modicum of fame brought on by reliving her tempestuous life. She's received favorable feedback from women who harbor secrets of multiple marriages. One woman, unsure about entering into a marriage, decided against it after chatting with Ashley via e-mail.

Across the airwaves, her message has receive mixed reactions.

"As soon as she finished up, we got a few calls from people who were divorced two or three times that said, 'Now I don't feel like such a screw-up," said Drew Savage, a morning-radio-show host in Vancouver, British Columbia. "I could understand why some people would feel offended or believe she takes marriage lightly. But I admire someone who lives life with such passion."

What's the one message Ashley hopes the book conveys?

"Don't make the same mistakes I did," she said. "Don't jump into marriage. Get to know people. Live with them if you have to, and try on the shoe before you buy it."

Just say no

Ashley offers details of growing up in close-knit, conservative church communities, mostly in Maryland and the South.

Females in those communities, she says, were subordinates who didn't wear makeup, jewelry (wedding rings included), slacks or skirts with hems above the knees.

Ashley's passion for self-expression clashed with such boundaries. Branded as loud and obnoxious by her family early on, she rebelled against her environment during childhood and adolescence, then thrust herself into an adult world when she was incapable of making decisions that were in her best interest.

"I was taught that you grow up and get married, and a man takes care of you," Ashley said. "A woman doesn't go to college. She doesn't go to work. She stays home and has as many children as she can and irons sheets and his underwear.

"When I got married directly out of high school, it was a very happy thing for everyone, except that they had no idea that it was a sham. I didn't love this man; I just wanted to get out of my father's house. He told me that as long as I lived in his house I was going to go to church; it was my way out.

"I'm not blaming him for all my marriages and divorces," Ashley added about her father. "I should have had enough sense to stop, especially after No. 4, 5, 6 and 7. But my father called any unmarried woman over 25 an old maid. So every time I'd get divorced, I'd start hearing that 'old maid, old maid, old maid.' I would jump right back into marriage immediately. I would just find someone and marry him. Why they married me, I don't know."

Her father, who lives in South Carolina and suffers from dementia, apologized two years ago for all he put his daughter through. It was one of the many closures she's seen in recent years.

She also learned how to say "no" to marriage, due to a live-in relationship she had with a man who early on seemed like marriage material but proved unworthy, prompting her to ultimately end the relationship.

"It brought me to reality that I never knew the other men, and as soon as I did, I wanted to get out of the marriage," Ashley said.

"For the first time in my life, I haven't wanted to jump back into a marriage or a relationship, and I'm learning how to be fun and single."